ENDORSEMENT: Vote SpongeBob KenneyPants!



EDITOR’S NOTE: When offered the opportunity to interview the man who will in all likelihood be the next mayor of Philadelphia, the only logical choice for who to send was Charlie C. Because, well, he’s 10 years old, and we believe the children are our future. And if nothing else, this election is about the future of our fair city. The fact that Mr. Kenney was such a good sport about this and took Charlie’s questions seriously and offered thoughtful responses only reinforced what we were already thinking: Jim Kenney is the right man for the job.

Charlie-head-shotBY CHARLIE C. The city of Philadelphia has a big decision to make in the next few days; they have to choose who will lead the city. Now, I have had the opportunity to do an interview with the man who I am biased to say that will be mayor, Jim Kenney! Alright, now, I have asked this man six questions that will help explain what he will do to fix the city of Philly and I now see why he seems to be the head of the race so far. While working on this, I did have a little help with the questions. And, I hope you enjoy it!

PHAWKER: Being mayor looks like a thankless job. People are always yelling and screaming and upset with decisions that the mayor makes. So why did you decide to run for mayor?

JIM KENNEY: When you are the one making tough decisions you’re not always going to please everyone, and as a City Councilman I’ve had some practice with this. I always remember that it’s a few people who are unhappy that make the most kenney-spongebobnoise, as long as it’s a net benefit to the city, it’s usually worth it. I believe that you’re never truly ?happy unless you’re serving others, by high school teachers taught me that. As mayor, I think I’ll be in the best position to drive down the city’s poverty rate and help the most number of people.

PHAWKER: Fixing the schools is important because children are the future. For years, people have tried to fix the school system and failed. What makes you so sure that you will succeed where so many have failed

JIM KENNEY: My approach is different because I’m focused on expanding community schools – which address the child’s entire learning environment, including the family’s socio-economic circumstances and the child’s health. Community schools are proven to raise graduation rates and improve the communities surrounding them.

PHAWKER: When Lynn Abraham fainted on TV, people who saw it said that she should drop out of the election because she was too old. Other people said this was sexist, because they wouldn’t do the same if a man fainted. If you had fainted, do you think people would have suggested you drop out of the election? Also, what does sexist mean?

JIM KENNEY: Sexism is when women are treated differently because of their gender. For instance, many women are paid less than men despite having the same kenney-spongebobqualifications. As mayor this is something I have a plan to correct in Philadelphia. As for DA Abraham, I think she’s proved that she’s as fit as a fiddle.

PHAWKER: I am worried about getting shot by the police. Do you think that every police officer that has a gun should have body cameras?

JIM KENNEY: I do believe that every officer carrying a firearm should be outfitted with a body camera that way any time there is an accident city officials will know exactly what happened and will be able to react accordingly.

PHAWKER: I’ve heard that the city’s pension fund should have at least $10 billion in the bank to cover everyone, but we only have $4 billion saved. When I grow up, if I worked in the city, would you say there would be a pension for me?

JIM KENNEY: There are three things I will do to make sure our pension fund is solvent and available for future generations, including overfunding the city’s minimum obligation, negotiating with municipal unions and revising our agreement with the Wall St managers who currently receive $32-33 million in fees every year.

PHAWKER: If you become mayor would you make a law saying that the Eagles can spike the football after a touchdown?kenney-spongebob

JIM KENNEY: Unfortunately, that is something that falls outside of what I will be able to do as mayor. That is something that will be need to be addressed by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. All I can say is that I hope we as fans can celebrate plenty of Eagles touchdowns in the stands and at hom

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Like any normal 10 year old kid from Haddon Heights, he goes to school, loves his dog, likes Minecraft and leaves a mess wherever he goes. You can check out his blog THE UNIVERSE ACCORDING TO CHARLIE.

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