ARMED & STUPID: If Ted Nugent Was Sheriff


SALON: Better things, for [Gilberton, PA sheriff Mark Kessler], include opening new chapters of the paramilitary militia group he founded, pushing legislation to fight the encroaching tyranny of the federal government, and making flamboyant YouTube videos that portray him “shoot[ing] a libtard out of a tree” or taunting the United Nations, but always shooting lots and lots of souped-up guns.

It was that last activity that caught the attention of the local press this week. “Coal region police chief posts profanity-laced video on YouTube,” was the headline in the Allentown Morning call Tuesday. “Well, I guess I upset a few people the other day when I made a video,” Kessler says in the video in question, referring to a previous video about the U.N. and John Kerry, which he has since deleted. “Well, I’m here to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset anybody… So please accept this as my sincerest apology.”

The police chief, who is also a member of the North Schuylkill school board, then disappears off screen for a moment and returns with what appears to be an AK-47 affixed with a drum magazine. “Yeah, I don’t think so. This boy don’t roll that way. For all you people out there who cried and cried about, ‘Oh, I used profanity,’ fuuuuucckkk you! Here’s what I got to say, if you didn’t get enough the first time around, go fuck yourself and get some more!” he says, before unloading the automatic weapon.

After the magazine is empty, he steps off screen to grab an M-16 rifle with a drum magazine. “Go fuck yourself again!” the police chief says before squeezing. Afterwards, he disappears and returns a third time, this time with a handgun, also loaded with a drum magazine. “All you fucking libtards out there, all you fucking crybabies, grow a pair of balls and man the fuck up. Alright? You’re a fucking bunch of pussies,” he says, before discharging the third weapon. MORE

RELATED: Chief Kessler is from Coon Rapids, Minnesota. Ahem.

CHIEF KESSLER: I changed the course of history , one person pushed back against a tyrannical anti constitution government, it’s time we show these tyrants we will not stand for any more violations on our constitution or our freedoms . Every militia , every csf member who can attend please do. P.s Pennsylvania is a open carry state n firearms will be present . So come with your flags n your firearms. MOLON LABE. I’m calling on all true Americans , all militia members, all true oath keepers to assemble, be ready to march on a tyrannical county government right here in Schuylkill county Pennsylvania, democrats are the true enemy of our country, our freedoms, our constitution, along with liberal news agency’s , liberal news reporters, much like hitlers nazis , time we clean these antiamerican thugs from office. TIME TO CHOSE SIDES IS UPON US MORE

RELATED: Troopers are investigating an incident where Mark Kessler, who was off-duty at the time, became involved in an altercation already under way among patrons inside a crowded 2nd Street Pub about midnight when his pistol discharged, shooting him in the hand. Sgt. Barry Whitmoyer, commander of the Frackville station, said Friday the weapon had not been accounted for and it is not known if the gun was fired intentionally or went off by accident. “We don’t have the weapon and still have a lot of questions to answer,” Whitmoyer said. “At this point we really don’t know what we have.” However, Whitmoyer said all indications show that no other weapons were involved. “We’re not finding anything that leads to another gun being there,” Whitmoyer said. “We’re finding there was one gun there and it was (Kessler’s).” While Sgt. Steven J. Stinsky, commander of the Schuylkill Haven station, said Monday the gun belonged to Kessler, it is unclear if the handgun is police-issued or his personal property. After Kessler was shot, he had left the scene with a friend to seek emergency treatment at Saint Catherine Medical Center Fountain Springs before troopers arrived. MORE

RELATED: Translation: He shot himself in the hand and ran away.

RELATED: Chief Kessler’s Constitution Security Force

PHAWKER: Interesting, according this National Guard web site page, Chief Kessler has been in the National Guard since 1983 but he somehow never served in Iraq and Afghanistan. You would think a guy who’s so good at pulling the trigger on guns would have come in handy in ‘the shit.’ We’re sure there is a very good explanation why someone so John Wayne/Gung Ho! never served in America’s longest-running wars. And we’d love to hear it.