Given that it’s where I got my start in journalism, it is with a heavy heart that I mock this hamfisted photoshop of a coffin stealing third base [pictured above] in today’s Morning Call, the paper of record in Allentown — my hometown. Not sure which is sadder, or more emblematic of just how bad things have gotten: That this ludicrous photoshop looks like the punchline to a question the Onion never bothered to ask or the fact that the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, the Fightins’ Triple-A affliate, are giving away a free funeral the way other ball clubs give away bobbleheads or mini bats. From today’s edition of the Morning Call:
The nearly $10,000 package includes a casket, professional services of a funeral director and staff, body removal, embalming or cremation, hearse and facility for funeral services, wake or viewing. The Northampton Memorial Co. will provide a $1,500 headstone and Richmar Florist promises a $300 casket spray of flowers.
There are many, many questions that this baseball promotion raises, chief among them is: What kind of message is this sending to the kids? Abandon all hope? Well, they gotta learn sooner or later, I suppose.