SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?


BY WILLIAM C. HENRY I don’t know about you, folks, but I’m flat out fed up with hearing about “what needs to be done” to turn the country around. Who DOESN’T know what it is that we have to do something about? I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with the “blame game”– from BOTH sides. I’m sick and tired of being preached to by the weak-kneed and the well-heeled in Congress. There isn’t a cupful of courage or compassion between them. But most of all, I’ve about had it with my PRESIDENT! Where is he hiding? Is he on some yet-to-be-announced sabbatical year? Come out, come out, wherever you are! I’m searching for you, Mr. President, and my patience is wearing thin. I’m beginning to wonder if you’re up to the job; if you can handle the heat; if you’ve got the cojones to carry the fight.

I’ll cut right to the chase, Mr. President: How about a little LEADERSHIP?! Where the hell is YOUR plan to get us out of this mess? All I’ve heard so far is a whole lot of howling and growling about the other side’s message. That dog’s gone lame, sir, it’ll no longer hunt. What I want to know is EXACTLY what YOU propound to get us out of this morass. And I want DETAILS! No more pandering platitudes. No more veiled verisimilitudes. No more passing the buck. I want to know PRECISELY how YOU propose to solve our problems. No more kumbayah conferences or committees. No more outlines or frameworks. I want to know EXPLICITLY how much cutting, from where, beginning when, and for how long.

Above all, I want to see the fine print of your pleaded-for “balanced” approach. I want to see it in big-block letters down to the last buck. Stop with the


we-stand-for-this-and-that horseshit. I want you to articulate in no uncertain terms SPECIFICALLY how the “balance” in YOUR approach contrasts so “radically” with that of your opponents’ “Lay Off The Rich” litany. And once you’ve spelled it out in mile-high neon lights for all to see, I want you to keep repeating it in speeches and press conferences so often and with such intensity that it becomes rote in the hearts and minds of ALL the electorate.

And by the way, time is of the essence. There are millions of Americans suffering terribly out here through absolutely NO FAULT of their own. NONE!. While I’m on the subject, have you given any thought to bringing those who ARE responsible to JUSTICE? Any consideration at all? I mean, what with all of your Justice Department’s laudable efforts to reinstate “equal treatment under the law,” I find it a whole lot odd that you’ve said nary a WORD about a matter of such CONSPICUOUS RELEVANCE! I’ve reviewed all of your written and spoken pronouncements, and I can’t seem to find even a MENTION of it. Why is that, Mr. President? Why are hundreds of thousands of your fellow countrymen STILL losing their jobs and their homes while the con artist criminals who made it all happen CONTINUE to live the good life off their ill-gotten gains? It’s looking an awful lot to me like the “equal treatment under the law” really comes down to you’ll-get-some-if-you’ve-got-$um and that goes for BOTH parties.

So, that’s about it, Mr. President. I think you’ve got the intellectual what-it-takes to lead the way; I’m just not sold on the the willpower wherewithal presence. The country desperately needs a LEADER, sir. We’ve got more than enough “want” to do something. What we need to see and hear is the nitty-gritty of “how,” and the COURAGE and CONVICTION to carry it out. Sure, there are a few other matters I’d like to see cleared up, but they pale in order of magnitude to these: JOBS, EQUAL JUSTICE, and the NATIONAL DEBT. These are national LIFE-OR-DEATH PROBLEMS, Mr. President! They require your IMMEDIATE and UNDIVIDED ATTENTION! Spare us the empty slogans like ‘winning the future’, let’s stop losing the eternal now! Don’t let us down, sir. How you go about it will determine your country’s return to WELL-BEING as well as your MAILING ADDRESS in a year and a half.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.

1,737   = The number of Americans killed in action in Afghanistan
13,011 = The number of Americans  wounded in Afghanistan.
0 = To date the number of financial industry kingpins indicted for having committed the most massive FRAUD in American history and wrecking the global economy, plunging untold millions into lives of misery and deprivation.

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