LOUT RAMPAGE: Madoff, Murder & Mayhem

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NEW YORK DAILY NEWS: One wants him to rot in prison, another hopes he has to clean the penitentiary toilets and a few are praying Bernie Madoff meets up with jailhouse justice. Fuming victims of Madoff’s $64.8 billion Ponzi scheme said Tuesday’s news that the Wall Street scoundrel will be sent to prison for 150 years falls short of the punishment they desire. “He doesn’t have 150 years to live, but I hope his time in jail will be hell on Earth,” Joan Sinkin, 75, of Boynton Beach, Fla., said Tuesday. Madoff, 70, is expected to plead guilty Thursday to money laundering, fraud and other charges. In addition to the lengthy prison term, prosecutors plan to demand Madoff pay $170billion in restitution – more than double the estimated damages his thievery inflicted. The breathtaking, decades-long swindle ripped off thousands of investors, including charity groups and luminaries like Mets owner Fred Wilpon, filmmaker Steven Spielberg and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel. MORE

gunshooter.jpgNEW YORK DAILY NEWS: An Alabama man with an assault weapon burned down his mother’s house around her, shot his grandparents, aunt and uncle dead, then killed five other people Tuesday before turning the gun on himself, authorities said. Officials in Geneva County near the Florida border identified the shooter only as white and in his 30s. They gave no motive for the rampage that claimed victims in several homes in the small towns of Kinston, Samson and Geneva and along the highway connecting them. Two of the dead were a sheriff’s deputy’s wife and 3-month-old child. Several other people were injured, including Geneva Police Chief Frankie Lindsey, who was saved by his bulletproof vest, and a state trooper wounded by flying glass when his car was hit with seven slugs. Investigators Tuesday night were looking into possible shootings in other locations. MORE

DOTHAN EAGLE: Authorities have yet to establish many of the facts of the shootings. Alabama State Trooper Kevin Cook said investigators have established more than 10 different crime scenes in McLendon’s spree. Authorities have yet to identify the victims in the shooting. Eyewitnesses have identified them, but the Dothan Eagle is awaiting gunfiring.gifnext-of-kin notification to release the names. Alina Knowles, her father-in-law Tom Knowles and Barry Aplin were at a house on Pullum Street next door to the residence where five people were killed when the shootings took place. Aplin heard McLendon shooting and saw him chase a woman into a nearby residence and open fire. “I saw him in the living room just blazing the world up,” Aplin said. Knowles said she saw McLendon open fire on her neighbors and their guests who were sitting on the front porch. “You wanna talk about a horrific scene, you see what I saw. I went over to get that baby, and there was blood all over that porch,” Alina said, referring to the child who survived the shooting. “The baby was covered in her mother’s blood.” MORE

skeleton_running.gifTHE ONION: GENEVA, SWITZERLAND—World Health Organization officials expressed disappointment Monday at the group’s finding that, despite the enormous efforts of doctors, rescue workers and other medical professionals worldwide, the global death rate remains constant at 100 percent. Death, a metabolic affliction causing total shutdown of all life functions, has long been considered humanity’s number one health concern. Responsible for 100 percent of all recorded fatalities worldwide, the condition has no cure. “I was really hoping, what with all those new radiology treatments, rescue helicopters, aerobics TV shows and what have you, that we might at least make a dent in it this year,” WHO Director General Dr. Gernst Bladt said. “Unfortunately, it would appear that the death rate remains constant and total, as it has inviolably since the dawn of time.” MORE

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