GAYDAR: Golden Showers Make Nice Flowers

Madcap drag troupe The Dumpsta Players, are back this month with a geriatric extravaganza. This time around, it’s all about the gold—the golden years to be exact—and who better can throw their sassy wisdom and eye-sore pastel clothing around than the Floridian foursome: The Golden Girls, in, “Golden Girls Gone Wild!” Times are hard. The girls’ roof needs a-fixin’ but they don’t have the dough. They should’ve probably cut back on the cheesecake, huh. But since that’s not going to happen, the girls are forced to whore themselves out into the cheap and easy world of reality TV. Rose sets off to dance with Dancing with the Stars’ Heather Mills; Blanche slips into her skimpy nighties to win big money; Dorothy sacrifices her womanhood for manhood in a full body makeover (I thought she was a man?); and Sofia discloses her glamour scandal past as a stripper. Picture it! In tow are Charm School victim New York and Monique Osborne for a double dose of drama. Show begins at 11 pm tonight at Bob and Barbara’s, with a recession-friendly $1.99 for cover. I’ll see you there kiddos. — AARON STELLA