BY MIKE WOLVERTON SPORTS GUY If I were a Congressman, the back and forth between Roger Clemens and me might sound something like this: Congressman Mike: Thank you Chairman. I’ve listened to the questions and the answers from our witnesses today, and I’d like to start with a statement. Mr. Clemens, you are so full of shit I can smell you from here. Lawyer Guy: Objection! Accurate but uncalled for! CM: Withdrawn. I’d like to get to the thing that has always bothered me the most, Mr. Clemens. In 2004 you were the starting pitcher for the Houston Astros in […]
COMING ATTRACTION: An Exclusive Interview With I Am Trying To Break Your Heart Director Sam Jones
In honor of you-know-who coming to town next week we will be running an in-depth Q&A with Sam Jones, the director of I Am Trying To Break Your Heart. Sam is probably better known for his commercial photography — you have seen his work, believe me. He recently published Here And Now (Harper Collins), a collection of his stunning celebrity portraiture, with forward by George Clooney. [Artwork by SETH WOLFSHORNDL]
CUPIDITY: A NSFW Valentine From Robert DeNiro
[Click his tummy to activate] BONUS: What Obama Has Done For You Lately
EARLY WORD: Hit The Road, Jack
PHILADELPHIA – On February 15th, the Hiway Theatre, located at 212 Old York Road in Jenkintown, will premiere the film series, Road Trips and Amazing Journeys to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the historic theatre’s reopening. The opening night celebration will begin with a screening of director Walter Salles’ acclaimed feature The Motorcycle Diaries (2004), chronicling the adventures of a young Che Guevara, followed by the featured selection for the evening – the critically acclaimed comedy Last Stop for Paul. Hailed as, “A unique accomplishment. Always entertaining. Very funny and at times quite touching” by film critic Richard Roeper, the […]
CINEMA: Brutal Youth
YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH (2007, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, 124 minutes, U.S.) BY DAN BUSKIRK FILM CRITIC Back in September of last year, The New York Times ran an article called “Francis Ford Coppola, A Kid To Watch.” A.O. Scott’s article spun a tale of how the sixty-eight year old director had re-stoked the fire in his belly while working quickly and efficiently with a young Romanian crew on his brainy and reflective comeback. It was an enticing idea, that after poking around his vineyard for the last decade Coppola had kicked off whatever funk had led him to make misfire […]
911: The Joke That Isn’t Funny Anymore
INQUIRER: Brenda Orr of Doylestown was trapped in a burning bed, immobilized by multiple sclerosis, when she dialed 911 on Jan. 29. Twenty-eight seconds passed before a Bucks County dispatcher answered Orr’s call. Then he put her on hold. It took 26 more seconds for a second dispatcher to pick up. “911. The bed is on fire,” Orr, 53, yelled into her phone. By then a minute had elapsed since Orr had first dialed. A half-minute later, she spoke her final words before the phone went dead. “The bed is fully inflamed,” she said. Bucks County officials, acknowledging that Orr’s […]
IN 1987: I Saw An X-Ray Of Girl Passing Gas
BY JONATHAN VALANIA First thing you should know is that what I am about to tell you violates a solemn pact that was made by all involved: Whatever happens in 1987 stays in 1987. I grew up in Pennsyltucky — Allentown, PA, to be exact — and by the time I was getting to the be the age where you just WANNA GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE, a shiny new superhighway literally appeared out of thin air, connecting the hinterlands of the Keystone State to New York City with a directness and efficiency that was heretofore unimaginable. You could […]
MOBY: Alice
Featuring guest vocals by Smokey and S.O. Simple of Nigerian hip-hop group 419 Squad and Aynzli. New Moby album drops April 1st. Can’t wait that long? Go here.
HOT DOCUMENT: A Slap On The Dick
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EARLY WORD: There’s A Creep In The Cellar
As promised, tomorrow we will share some hazy memories about our gloriously misspent ’80s youth, specifically about following a band called the Butthole Surfers around like the Grateful Dead. We would share today, but the statute of limitations doesn’t run out until tomorrow. You know how it is. Anyway, we will also — God willing — have an interview with Gibby Haynes on Friday. It was supposed to happen to today but Gibby lost his phone in DC last night. Some things never change. In the meantime, we will be giving away a limited number of tickets for Saturday’s show. […]
HOT DOCUMENT: Paging Karl Rove
This Myspace bulletin went out to Friends of Hillary this morning, but by this afternoon it had mysteriously disappeared: “This is the kind of sexism that needs to be stopped. Sexism that is masked as some kind of joke or meant to be light hearted. I don’t find this funny and I don’t know how anyone could wear a shirt like this and call themselves a Democrat. Sadly Sexism is still alive in politics.” — Hillary For President [Hat tip to CITIZEN MOM] RELATED: COLUMBUS, Ohio — The man who served as national manager of former President Clinton’s 1992 campaign […]
NEWS CLUES: ‘So Local It Hurts’ Edition
THIS JUST IN: Philly’s Most Wanted Caught Teaching 8th Grade Math One of Philadelphia’s Most Wanted has been found. He was teaching at a city school in North Philadelphia. Arnesx Honore, 33, has taught math to eighth-grade boys since 2003 at the Hunting Park alternative school in North Philadelphia. Honore, accused of attacking a 17-year-old girl in August 2006, was wanted on sexual-assault charges, police said. According to court records, Honore was arrested on charges of raping a minor on April 1, 2006, but all charges were dismissed because the witness was unavailable. It was unclear this morning whether the […]
CINEMA: Locust Abortion Technician
4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS & 2 DAYS (2007, directed by Cristian Mungiu, 113 minutes, Romania) BY DAN BUSKIRK FILM CRITIC If this is the Romanian New Wave than I’d hate to see their Punk. Raw and unflinching, 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days is a bleak journey into the darkest days of two young female students during the waning years of Communist Romania. Cristian Mungui’s unblinking look at a black market abortion won the Golden Palme at last year’s Cannes Festival and it probably needed that title to receive distribution in the U.S., its dour Eastern European outlook and […]