We were planning to live blog from the Irish Pub, with one eye on Bible Spice and the other on the debate — but her handlers are already shooing her out of town before anyone actually asks her a question. Never fear, though, dear reader, for we shall be liveblogging the debate from the comfort of our pajamas. As per usual, Citizen Mom and Jonathan Valania — the Greatest Political Analyst Team In The Known Universe — will be cracking wise, with occasional shoutouts from Philly Mag’s Steve Volk. You lucky ducks!
8:54 PMCitizen: yo
8:55 PM Where the hell is Palin? I sent that bimbo to get me another wine cooler a half hour ago!
AND she has my car keys
me: ha
Citizen: we’re watching real CNN right?
me: right
8:56 PM Citizen: Alex Castellanos’ mustache scares me
He’s like Gomez Addams with the Dry Look
me: what is up with Gergen’s combover
like a bat died on his head
Citizen: He’s had that hairpiece since the Clinton Administration
8:57 PM Did you see Michelle Obama’s dress?
FAIL
shit, Ted Kennedy had a seizure when he heard McCain was going to debate
8:58 PM me: he had a seizure when he saw the $700 Billion Bailout bill
on his Visa statement
Citizen: ha
8:59 PM wait, lemme go to the bathroom before these two get started
oh GOD I love Michael Ware
wait, did I say that out loud?
me: you are SUCH a girl
9:00 PM Citizen: I would like to make out with his accent, that’s all
me: down, girl
9:01 PM Citizen: Oh CHRIST look at all these graphics
9:02 PM
Like I need Donna Brazile’s fucking biorhythms?
9:03 PM me: Obama looks good
good suit, good tie
Citizen:
9:04 PMWow, he does look good
I like that tie
me: presidential
such big ears
all the better to hear the people with
Citizen: Take it easy, Black Jesus
9:05 PM me: pow
9:06 PM Citizen: McCain looks terrible
9:07 PM me: that approval-meter thing is INSANE
I am picturing a room full of people with electrodes all over their bodies
hanging from wires
like Coma
Citizen: Tron
9:08 PM hahaha
me: man, totally dodged the question
TOTALLY
Ted Kennedy
Washington
foreign oil
9:09 PM stump speech
isn’t my running mate something?
9:10 PM Citizen: McCain’s not going to talk about Palin tonight, believe that
the approval lines dropped when McCain said he was going to vote for the bailout
AND he’s talking about World War II again
9:11 PM and look when he starts talking like a Democrat, the lines go up
9:12 PM me: I kinda look like Eisenhower
and the buck stopped with him, and it will kinda stop with me
9:13 PM Citizen: Woah it’s like Lehrer’s trying to have a group therapy session
“Look into his eyes when you say it, and use ‘I’ words”
9:14 PM
me: he should put some toys out for them play with
work on sharing
Citizen: Use the puppets to talk about your feelings
me: Mccain looks like a walking flag pin Citizen: you can wear him on your lapel
9:15 PM
9:17 PM Barry throwing the left
jab, jab, jab
me: killa dilla
Citizen: waiting for the right cross
me: finally pointing out how puny that money Mccain talks about saving is
9:18 PM
me: that’s his whole plan is to save $18 billion in pork and that will fix everything
9:19 PM
me: utterly dwarfed by $700 billion, to the point of irrelevance
9:20 PM Citizen: The way Lehrer’s running this thing, they ought to be sitting around a table like on Charlie Rose
9:21 PM me: should be in bunk beds
or on a canoe, rowing
with Lehrer on the bullhorn
9:22 PM POW
POW
[pounding McCain’s head]
9:23 PM Citizen: Barry’s not moving the line
Even the blue one
me: fuck the line
I am a MAN
not a line
I am
SOMEBODY, not a fuckin LED screen
9:25 PM Citizen: he’s going all swirly
9:26 PM oooh, Mccain with the smug giggling
9:27 PM go Barry!
me: Obama is peaking out
he’s gonna bust thru the chart
Citizen: moving that green line
very important
see this is why i fucking hate cnn
9:28 PM I”m focusing on the shiny shiny instead of the actual debate
me: so weird
how long has this been going on?
Citizen: Even the Republicans are responding to this
me: so says The Line
The Line knows all
9:29 PM The Line for president!
Citizen: Gloria Borger has no response to that
me: Obama is the THIRD MOST LIBERAL Senator you old bat
keep track
Citizen: oooh, he’s taking on the ethanol pledge
9:30 PM Haha, Borger heard me
Keep reminding people you’re old, Methuselah
9:31 PM Why not just SAY it’s impossible to know right now what programs you’d have to cut because of the bailout?
me: should say we might have to cut back on our spending in the Iraq quagmire
9:32 PM Citizen: no, because then it’ll get McCain talking about the Hanoi Hilton again
like grandpa at Thanksgiving Dinner talking about VJ day
me: John McCain is welcome to become president of Vietnam
9:33 PM Citizen: hatchet where you need a scalpelnice
me: yeah
YEAH
Citizen: YES
9:34 PM me: He said the Iraq line!
9:35 PM Citizen: This format is working well for Prof. Obama
Lehrer wants wonky answers
9:36 PM me: is the whole debate gonna be this ONE question?
9:38 PM haha, he said ORGY
and his approvals go up!
Citizen: pervs
me: say BOOBIE, Obama
quick
9:40 PM Citizen: The fact that McCain was “right” about the surge does not make me approve of him more
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9:45 PM me: YOU WERE WRONG
Citizen: Well, Lehrer wanted them to talk directly to each other
9:46 PM me: tactic or strategy
9:47 PM its like Obama WANTS us to lose
9:49 PM
9:51 PM Citizen: Isn’t there a snack cart?
me: what is with the watch parties
why is ours all black
I know white people are watching for Obama
I got at least TWO here
in my apartment
9:52 PM Citizen: what, are you and Volk doing your nails and talking about boys?
me: I don’t like the way he pronounces Taliban
like Tolly-Ban
9:53 PM he should say Towel uh Ban
Citizen: Obvs. he learned that in the madrasa
me: Mccain just said it that way too, haha, he sounds so queer
Did McCain really just say ‘you don’t say attack Pakistan out loud’
9:54 PM THEY MIGHT HEAR US
Citizen: You can’t say that on television
me: everyone knows you don’t say ‘attack Pakistan’ out loud
you use sign languuage
or smoke signals
or just write a note and pass it to your neighbor
9:55 PM Citizen: that’s what my dad’s italian family said when he brought home my Irish mom
me: don’t say she’s Irish out loud?
Citizen: right
me: or Don’t say out loud that ‘we are gonna attack Pakistan’?
cuz that would be weird
9:56 PM Citizen: Woah, did Obama just articulate the Bush Doctrine?
me: Bomb Bomb McCain
9:57 PM good good
tellin the truth on Pakistan
OUT LOUD even
9:58 PM Citizen: My son just brought me a pair of 3-D glasses. I’m gonna put them on, it might help
me: if only his lone maverick vote could have saved those 300 marines
9:59 PM not the dead soldier bracelet story AGAIN
Citizen: this is not the time for this
me: the Independents don’t like it
10:00 PM nice
obama has his OWN dead soldier bracelet story
and its ANTI WAR
10:01 PM brilliant
Citizen: yeah hopefully we won’t have to hear that story out of Mccain again
10:02 PM Tolly-ban
like Don Tollefson’s terrorist group
me: that must stop
10:03 PM its the new Nuke-u-lur
10:04 PM Citizen:League of Democracies?
Are there capes and tights?
me: like League Of Justice
I call Batman
10:05 PM Citizen: Robert Smigel, line one
10:06 PM me: say it, Obamalama!
10:07 PM Obama has delivered, by my count, at least four solid roundhouses
the side of Mccain’s face seems more swollen than usual
Citizen: I haven’t heard a game-changer
me: would agree
Citizen: though I’d make a big deal about how McCain would freeze spending programs
so much for your house getting rebuilt, or your food stamps coming on time
10:08 PM me: or ANYTHING
but the Army is hiring
shameful Israel-baiting
shameful
10:09 PM the Great Schlep is gonna schmear him
Citizen: The Big Schmear
me: how about a schmear of truth, john
just a schmear
10:10 PM Citizen: use the low-fat kind, you know the doctor said your cholesterol’s too high
me: notice McCain guffaws every time Obama calls him on shit
Citizen: condescending bullshit
10:11 PM me: I think it’s the new ‘look at your watch’
the new Al Gore Sigh
10:12 PM
Citizen: oooohhhhhhh
10:13 PM
now the fourth time he’s said something about how Obama “doesn’t understand”
10:14 PM me: WTF
the average South Korean is three inches taller than the average North Korean?
10:15 PM what does that have to d with the price of tea in Bagdhad
10:16 PM Citizen: I can see Russia from my house!
10:19 PM “a nation fueled by petrodollars”
AHEM
10:21 PM Name dropper
what is this, Philebrity?
christ
10:22 PM me: he shoulda mentioned that his running mate can see Russia from her house
so she will be in charge of watching the Russians
10:23 PM from her house
which will save a LOT of money
Citizen: with the nanny-cam
me: ha
10:24 PM
next up is swimsuit
10:25 PM I think Obama wins
Citizen: hold on, i need to get my power cord
10:26 PM me: wait, is Obama for or AGAINST nuclear waste?
Citizen: “uhhh, it’s bad”
Oh now he can talk about the 9/11 commission
10:27 PM me: nobody can be against alt energy Mccain says
me: yet voted against it 29 times
him and Lieberman should just fucking get married already
JESUS
Citizen: cool
10:31 PM fifth time by my count McCain’s used the “doesn’t understand” line
cranky old man
10:32 PM me: let me tell ya, sonny
in my day
we didn’t debate the negroes
we just beat em
10:33 PM Citizen: holding one of those big funnel things up to his ear
me: ha
10:34 PM so, I give Obama a slight edge on this
one
which is a big win, really
McCain was the one who had to change the game, and I don’t think he did
they both came across as credible president-types, which again is a HUGE victory for Obama
for a 47 year old black man/junior senator to stand next to a white 72 year old war hero with 30 years in the Senate and hold your own on foreign policy is a HUGE victory
Citizen: McCain actually comparing Obama to BUSH
that’s a stretch, grandpa
10:35 PM me: lame for him to end on such a note
10:37 PM holy cow, McCain was in prison
can a felon be president?
Citizen: ha
Well, that’s ooooooooooooooooover
That debate was like married se
sex
10:38 PM me: ha
they really need a divorce
come Nov. 4 it will be final
***
REUTERS: OXFORD, Mississippi – For the University of Mississippi, Barack Obama‘s scheduled campus appearance in a presidential debate on Friday is more than ironic. It’s a testament to progress. The deep South campus, commonly known as Ole Miss, was the site of a deadly 1962 riot over the court-ordered enrollment of the first black student, James Meredith. The clash with federal troops sent by President John Kennedy became a landmark moment in the U.S. civil rights movement. MORE
WIKIPEDIA: James H. Meredith (born June 25, 1933) is an American civil rights movement figure. He was the first African-American student at the University of Mississippi, an event that was a flash point in the American civil rights movement. On October 1, 1962, he became the first black student at the University of Mississippi,[2] after being barred from entering on September 20. His enrollment, virulently opposed by segregationist Governor Ross Barnett, sparked riots on the Oxford campus, which required federal troops and U.S. Marshals, who were sent by President John F. Kennedy. The riots led to a violent clash which left two people dead, including French journalist Paul Guihard,[3] 48 soldiers injured and 30 U.S. Marshals with gun wounds. Barnett was fined $10,000 and sentenced to jail for contempt but he never paid the fine or served time. This was because the charges were dismissed by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals. Bob Dylan sang about the incident in his song Oxford Town. Meredith’s actions are regarded as a pivotal moment in the history of civil rights in the United States. He graduated on August 18, 1963 with a degree in political science.