LIVE & DIRECT: Mississippi Burning

We were planning to live blog from the Irish Pub, with one eye on Bible Spice and the other on the debate — but her handlers are already shooing her out of town before anyone actually asks her a question. Never fear, though, dear reader, for we shall be liveblogging the debate from the comfort of our pajamas. As per usual, Citizen Mom and Jonathan Valania — the Greatest Political Analyst Team In The Known Universe — will be cracking wise, with occasional shoutouts from Philly Mag’s Steve Volk. You lucky ducks!

8:54 PMCitizen: yo

8:55 PM Where the hell is Palin? I sent that bimbo to get me another wine cooler a half hour ago!

  AND she has my car keysbarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

 me: ha

 Citizen: we’re watching real CNN right?

 me: right

8:56 PM Citizen: Alex Castellanos’ mustache scares me

  He’s like Gomez Addams with the Dry Look

 me: what is up with Gergen’s combover

  like a bat died on his head

 Citizen: He’s had that hairpiece since the Clinton Administration

8:57 PM Did you see Michelle Obama’s dress?

  FAIL

  shit, Ted Kennedy had a seizure when he heard McCain was going to debate

8:58 PM me: he had a seizure when he saw the $700 Billion Bailout bill

  on his Visa statement

 Citizen: ha

8:59 PM wait, lemme go to the bathroom before these two get startedjohnmccainnope_1.png

  oh GOD I love Michael Ware

  wait, did I say that out loud?

 me: you are SUCH a girl

9:00 PM Citizen: I would like to make out with his accent, that’s all

 me: down, girl

9:01 PM Citizen: Oh CHRIST look at all these graphics

9:02 PM

  Like I need Donna Brazile’s fucking biorhythms?

9:03 PM me: Obama looks good

  good suit, good tie

 Citizen:

9:04 PMWow, he does look good

  I like that tie

 me: presidentialbarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

  such big ears

  all the better to hear the people with

 Citizen: Take it easy, Black Jesus

9:05 PM me: pow

9:06 PM Citizen: McCain looks terrible

9:07 PM me: that approval-meter thing is INSANE

  I am picturing a room full of people with electrodes all over their bodies

hanging from wires

  like Coma

 Citizen: Tron

9:08 PM hahaha

 me: man, totally dodged the questionjohnmccainnope_1.png

  TOTALLY

  Ted Kennedy

  Washington

       foreign oil

9:09 PM stump speech

  isn’t my running mate something?

9:10 PM Citizen: McCain’s not going to talk about Palin tonight, believe that

  the approval lines dropped when McCain said he was going to vote for the bailout

  AND he’s talking about World War II again

9:11 PM and look when he starts talking like a Democrat, the lines go up

9:12 PM me: I kinda look like Eisenhower

  and the buck stopped with him, and it will kinda stop with me

9:13 PM Citizen: Woah it’s like Lehrer’s trying to have a group therapy sessionbarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

  “Look into his eyes when you say it, and use ‘I’ words”

9:14 PM 

 me: he should put some toys out for them play with

  work on sharing

Citizen: Use the puppets to talk about your feelings

me: Mccain looks like a walking flag pin     Citizen: you can wear him on your lapel

9:15 PM 

9:17 PM Barry throwing the left

  jab, jab, jab

 me: killa dilla

 Citizen: waiting for the right cross

 me: finally pointing out how puny that money Mccain talks about saving is

9:18 PM 

 me: that’s his whole plan is to save $18 billion in pork and that will fix everything

9:19 PM 

 me: utterly dwarfed by $700 billion, to the point of irrelevance

9:20 PM Citizen: The way Lehrer’s running this thing, they ought to be sitting around a table like on Charlie johnmccainnope_1.pngRose

9:21 PM me: should be in bunk beds

 or on a canoe, rowing

  with Lehrer on the bullhorn

9:22 PM POW

  POW

  [pounding McCain’s head]

9:23 PM Citizen: Barry’s not moving the line

  Even the blue one

 me: fuck the line

  I am a MAN

  not a line

  I am

  SOMEBODY, not a fuckin LED screenbarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

9:25 PM Citizen: he’s going all swirly

9:26 PM oooh, Mccain with the smug giggling

9:27 PM go Barry!

 me: Obama is peaking out

  he’s gonna bust thru the chart

 Citizen: moving that green line

  very important

  see this is why i fucking hate cnn

9:28 PM I”m focusing on the shiny shiny instead of the actual debate

 me: so weird

  how long has this been going on?

 Citizen: Even the Republicans are responding to this

 me: so says The Line

  The Line knows all

9:29 PM The Line for president!

 Citizen: Gloria Borger has no response to that

 me: Obama is the THIRD MOST LIBERAL Senator you old batjohnmccainnope_1.png

  keep track

 Citizen: oooh, he’s taking on the ethanol pledge

9:30 PM Haha, Borger heard me

  Keep reminding people you’re old, Methuselah

9:31 PM Why not just SAY it’s impossible to know right now what programs you’d have to cut because of the bailout?

 me: should say we might have to cut back on our spending in the Iraq quagmire

9:32 PM Citizen: no, because then it’ll get McCain talking about the Hanoi Hilton again

  like grandpa at Thanksgiving Dinner talking about VJ day

 me: John McCain is welcome to become president of Vietnam

9:33 PM Citizen: hatchet where you need a scalpelnice

 me: yeah

  YEAH

 Citizen: YES

9:34 PM me: He said the Iraq line!

9:35 PM Citizen: This format is working well for Prof. Obamabarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

  Lehrer wants wonky answers

9:36 PM me: is the whole debate gonna be this ONE question?

9:38 PM haha, he said ORGY

  and his approvals go up!

 Citizen: pervs

 me: say BOOBIE, Obama

  quick

9:40 PM Citizen: The fact that McCain was “right” about the surge does not make me approve of him more


5 minutes

9:45 PM me: YOU WERE WRONG

 Citizen: Well, Lehrer wanted them to talk directly to each other

9:46 PM me: tactic or strategy

9:47 PM its like Obama WANTS us to lose

9:49 PM 

9:51 PM Citizen: Isn’t there a snack cart?johnmccainnope_1.png

 me: what is with the watch parties

  why is ours all black

  I know white people are watching for Obama

  I got at least TWO here

  in my apartment

9:52 PM Citizen: what, are you and Volk doing your nails and talking about boys?

 me: I don’t like the way he pronounces Taliban

  like Tolly-Ban

9:53 PM he should say Towel uh Ban

 Citizen: Obvs. he learned that in the madrasa

 me: Mccain just said it that way too, haha, he sounds so queer

  Did McCain really just say ‘you don’t say attack Pakistan out loud’

9:54 PM THEY MIGHT HEAR US

 Citizen: You can’t say that on television

 me: everyone knows you don’t say ‘attack Pakistan’ out loudbarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

  you use sign languuage

  or smoke signals

   or just write a note and pass it to your neighbor

9:55 PM Citizen: that’s what my dad’s italian family said when he brought home my Irish mom

 me: don’t say she’s Irish out loud?

 Citizen: right

 me: or Don’t say out loud that ‘we are gonna attack Pakistan’?

  cuz that would be weird

9:56 PM Citizen: Woah, did Obama just articulate the Bush Doctrine?

 me: Bomb Bomb McCain

9:57 PM good good

  tellin the truth on Pakistanjohnmccainnope_1.png

  OUT LOUD even

9:58 PM Citizen: My son just brought me a pair of 3-D glasses. I’m gonna put them on, it might help

 me: if only his lone maverick vote could have saved those 300 marines

9:59 PM not the dead soldier bracelet story AGAIN

 Citizen: this is not the time for this

 me: the Independents don’t like it

10:00 PM nice

  obama has his OWN dead soldier bracelet story

  and its ANTI WAR

10:01 PM brilliant

 Citizen: yeah hopefully we won’t have to hear that story out of Mccain again

10:02 PM Tolly-ban

  like Don Tollefson’s terrorist groupbarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

 me: that must stop

10:03 PM its the new Nuke-u-lur

10:04 PM Citizen:League of Democracies?

  Are there capes and tights?

 me: like League Of Justice

  I call Batman

10:05 PM Citizen: Robert Smigel, line one

10:06 PM me: say it, Obamalama!

10:07 PM Obama has delivered, by my count, at least four solid roundhouses

  the side of Mccain’s face seems more swollen than usual

 Citizen: I haven’t heard a game-changer

 me: would agree

 Citizen: though I’d make a big deal about how McCain would freeze spending programs

  so much for your house getting rebuilt, or your food stamps coming on timejohnmccainnope_1.png

10:08 PM me: or ANYTHING

  but the Army is hiring

  shameful Israel-baiting

  shameful

10:09 PM the Great Schlep is gonna schmear him

 Citizen: The Big Schmear

 me: how about a schmear of truth, john

  just a schmear

10:10 PM Citizen: use the low-fat kind, you know the doctor said your cholesterol’s too high

 me: notice McCain guffaws every time Obama calls him on shit

 Citizen: condescending bullshit

10:11 PM me: I think it’s the new ‘look at your watch’

  the new Al Gore Sigh

10:12 PM 

 Citizen: oooohhhhhhhbarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

10:13 PM 

  now the fourth time he’s said something about how Obama “doesn’t understand”

10:14 PM me: WTF

  the average South Korean is three inches taller than the average North Korean?

10:15 PM  what does that have to d with the price of tea in Bagdhad

10:16 PM Citizen: I can see Russia from my house!

10:19 PM “a nation fueled by petrodollars”

  AHEM

10:21 PM Name dropper

  what is this, Philebrity?

  christ

10:22 PM me: he shoulda mentioned that his running mate can see Russia from her house

  so she will be in charge of watching the Russians

10:23 PM from her house

  which will save a LOT of moneyjohnmccainnope_1.png

 Citizen: with the nanny-cam

 me: ha

10:24 PM 

  next up is swimsuit

10:25 PM I think Obama wins

 Citizen: hold on, i need to get my power cord

10:26 PM me: wait, is Obama for or AGAINST nuclear waste?

 Citizen: “uhhh, it’s bad”

  Oh now he can talk about the 9/11 commission

10:27 PM me: nobody can be against alt energy Mccain says

 

 me: yet voted against it 29 times

  him and Lieberman should just fucking get married already

  JESUS

Citizen: cool

10:31 PM fifth time by my count McCain’s used the “doesn’t understand” line

  cranky old man

10:32 PM me: let me tell ya, sonnybarack_obama_hope_stickers.gif

  in my day

  we didn’t debate the negroes

  we just beat em

10:33 PM Citizen: holding one of those big funnel things up to his ear

 me: ha

10:34 PM so, I give Obama a slight edge on this

  one

  which is a big win, really

McCain was the one who had to change the game, and I don’t think he did

they both came across as credible president-types, which again is a HUGE victory for Obama

for a 47 year old black man/junior senator to stand next to a white 72 year old war hero with 30 years in the Senate and hold your own on foreign policy is a HUGE victory

Citizen: McCain actually comparing Obama to BUSH

  that’s a stretch, grandpa

10:35 PM me: lame for him to end on such a notejohnmccainnope_1.png

10:37 PM holy cow, McCain was in prison

  can a felon be president?

 Citizen: ha

  Well, that’s ooooooooooooooooover

  That debate was like married se

  sex

10:38 PM me: ha

  they really need a divorce

  come Nov. 4 it will be final

***

REUTERS: OXFORD, Mississippi – For the University of Mississippi, Barack Obama‘s scheduled campus appearance in a presidential debate on Friday is more than ironic. It’s a testament to progress. The deep South campus, commonly known as Ole Miss, was the site of a deadly 1962 riot over the court-ordered enrollment of the first black student, James Meredith. The clash with federal troops sent by President John Kennedy became a landmark moment in the U.S. civil rights movement. MORE

james_meredith_1.jpgWIKIPEDIA: James H. Meredith (born June 25, 1933) is an American civil rights movement figure. He was the first African-American student at the University of Mississippi, an event that was a flash point in the American civil rights movement. On October 1, 1962, he became the first black student at the University of Mississippi,[2] after being barred from entering on September 20. His enrollment, virulently opposed by segregationist Governor Ross Barnett, sparked riots on the Oxford campus, which required federal troops and U.S. Marshals, who were sent by President John F. Kennedy. The riots led to a violent clash which left two people dead, including French journalist Paul Guihard,[3] 48 soldiers injured and 30 U.S. Marshals with gun wounds. Barnett was fined $10,000 and sentenced to jail for contempt but he never paid the fine or served time. This was because the charges were dismissed by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals. Bob Dylan sang about the incident in his song Oxford Town. Meredith’s actions are regarded as a pivotal moment in the history of civil rights in the United States. He graduated on August 18, 1963 with a degree in political science.

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