By STEPHANIE FARR
Philadelphia Daily NewsSix men who were busted with 52 pounds of marijuana in Upper Darby on Saturday are finding that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
[Obligatory bad drug pun in the lede, because, hey, pot busts ARE FUNNY, setting up law enforcement source for…]
“They’re in a black hole,” said Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood.
[ …the punchline. Good one, Mr. C.]
Upper Darby narcotics detectives, state police and members of the Delaware County Drug Task Force were overcome by the stench of $90,000 worth of marijuana [NOT pictured, above] when they busted the men at a house on Glendale Road near Marshall, police said.
[Followed by the ‘money shot’, aka the inflated street value, a number nobody actually checks
before reporting as fact. In keeping with the dictates of drug war porn, a full-monty shot should accompany story whenever possible.]
“You walked in the back door and could get high,” Chitwood said. “Even now, the smell of marijuana is unbelievable coming up the elevator [at the police station].”
[Law enforcement quote demonstrating a dubious grasp of how drug is actually consumed.]
In addition to the marijuana, a computer, nine cell phones and tally sheets were confiscated during the bust.
[Secondary money shot, detailing seized drug dealer property: Nine cellphones! Tally sheets! And a computer!]
Chitwood said the operation was part of a major distribution network with “nationwide implications.”
[Grim warnings about unspoken tragedies narrowly averted.]
“This thing runs across the country, no doubt about it,” he said.
[Recreational marijuana use apparently a popular nation-wide phenomenon.]
Police believe the drugs were being shipped in from the West Coast, possibly by tractor trailer, and distributed throughout the Philadelphia area. Documents found in the house also suggest FedEx was
[A truck might have been used to ship marijuana around the nation, also, possibly maybe Fed Ex. Some use of plastic sandwich baggies implied.]
The men – aged 19 to 56 – hail from Philadelphia, Upper Darby and Texas, police said.
[Apparently, the marijuana trade provides job opportunities for men of all ages and geographic locations.]
One of them, Gavin Morgan, 19, who lived at the house, allegedly assaulted an officer when police attempted to arrest him. As a result of the incident and Morgan’s alleged possession of a loaded 9 mm handgun, his bail was set at $2.7 million – $700,000 higher than each of the others.
[Drug dealers are often armed — ironically, because drug-dealing is illegal — and easily annoyed when you attempt to arrest them.]
Also arrested were: Paul Alwyn, 35, David Hinds, 37, and Robert Fung, 56, all of Philadelphia; Wilton Johnson, 44, of Upper Darby; and Winston Richards, 29, of Houston.
[The obligatory perp list, seems legit, no obviously phony names such as ‘John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt’ padding the list.]
Each will be charged with possession of narcotics, possession with the intent to deliver, and conspiracy, police said. Additionally, Morgan will be charged with firearms violations and assault on police.
[And everyone lived happily ever after.]
