MAGNETIC FIELDS: I Hate California Girls

Welcome to our second homegrown Phawker TV rock music video! This week we bring you this gloriously spiteful fuzz-pop confection from Magnetic Fields’ new barbwire-kissed Distortion — a great song in search of a video, if ever we heard one. And so we worked some of our Hollywood magic. Hat’s off to The Wook for the concept and execution, you can head over to Wookified to see the uncensored version. In closing, we would just like to say ‘some gave their all’ and nobody knows that better than Paris Hilton, bless her little waxed-hairless Chihuahua heart.

WORTH REPEATING: As Dorothy Parker once said, “If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gives it to.” Maybe that’ll be Paris Hilton’s great contribution to humanity — a redeeming act that’ll explain to future generations why we ever gave a shit­­ — and close out the long overdue tab on her 15 minutes.parisalexfine.jpg She’ll be remembered as the once-living proof that money can’t buy everything.

Anyone expecting Paris to be anything more than a six-figure karaoke party we get to overhear from the wrong side of the velvet rope will be sorely disappointed. Hilton wanted to be a pop star because, best she can tell, it’s one more thing her money can buy

Hilton’s Capri-thin pipes have been fattened like foie gras and given the finest airbrushing money can buy — double-tracked, pitch-corrected and laid into the mix at flattering angles in the same way right-swept bangs can distract from a problem nose. Like her “hot” couture wardrobe, the songs have all been bought from the biggest design houses for her to try on, accessorize and be seen in. Does this reggae jawn make my ass look big? I am so hot in this Rod Stewart song!

Already Hilton is fading like an old newspaper to be remembered, if at all, for its blond ambition, bikini-waxed soul and for setting back the cause of cluelessness at least 20 years—just when it was beginning to make some real strides. MORE

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