Cover Wars: Whose Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?

Someone important once said: Writing about comedy is like square-dancing about acupuncture. Or they should have. And now, for all intents and purposes, it has been said. And not a moment too soon, because PW rock’s its first, and possibly last, annual Humor Issue this week and boy are my arms tired! Props for the 411 on local laugh shacks and the aspiring showbiz Sheckys that fill them with hot air, laughing gas and two-drink-minimum guffaws. Which reminds us, did you ever hear the one about the lollipop and the jump rope? Skip it, it sucks. [insert rimshot here] Yeah, […]

NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t

Haliburton Convoy Ambushed In Iraq FRESH AIR ON WHYY Army Lieutenant Ehren Watada is the first American officer to refuse to deploy to Iraq on the grounds that he thinks the war is illegal. He is joined by one of his lawyers, Eric Seitz, a civillian. Watada is now being court-martialed for his refusal, and for statements he made opposing the war and the Bush administration’s leadership.

CRADLE WILL ROCK, AGAIN: Original Van Halen Reunites For Summer Tour, Philly Date Inevitable

PEREZHILTON: ‘Is pleased to exclusively confirm – sources tell us – that Van Halen is 100% reuniting for a massive comeback tour this summer with original lead singer, David Lee Roth.The tour will kick off in May and travel through amphitheaters across America.’ ROLLINGSTONE: ‘The reunion that Van Halen fans have been awaiting for twenty-two years began in December, when David Lee Roth walked into Eddie Van Halen?s Hollywood home studio. There he rejoined the band for a rehearsal, singing fourteen Van Halen classics. ?They totally got along on a personal level,? a source close to the reunion says. ?And […]

PHOODIE: Continental Knocked Off, Gunmen Order $10,000 Worth Of Black Sesame Crab Cakes And Boneless Duck With Tamarind Glaze, Leave Shitty Tip

Stephen Starr says that surveillance videos from the Continental (138 Market St.) have been turned over to police after the popular nightspot was held up last week. Two armed men wearing ski masks snuck into a side entrance of the Continental about 2 a.m. on Jan. 18. They threatened employees at gunpoint and made off with $10,000, an investigator with Central Detectives told the Daily News‘ Christine Olley. Reached yesterday, Starr was hesitant to discuss the incident, but praised police for “doing a terrific job trying to catch these guys and doing a great job in cleaning up Old City.” […]

GOOD DEED: West Philly Teen Saves Kitten From Fire

Malakiah Ayres feared the gas line could explode at any moment. But the family’s kitten was inside his house on 71st Street near Paschall Avenue, next door to where the gas pipeline had ruptured and caught fire. And Ayres knew she would be scared. “So I ran in there,” said Ayres, 17, a 10-grader at John Bartram High School in Southwest Philadelphia, after his rescue yesterday of Missy, a 7-month-old black kitten with green eyes and a white patch on her chest. He knew just where to look for her. Under the bathtub. “Any time anything scares her, she hides […]

GUNCRAZY: Son Who Shot Stepdad, Repeatedly, Over Denial Of Laundry Privileges, Still At Large

A West Philadelphia teenager allegedly pumped several bullets into his stepdad yesterday morning, and investigators said the shooting was preceded by an argument over laundry. Arlen Briddell, 18, stopped by his mother’s home, on Broomall Street near 55th, hoping to do some laundry about 9 a.m., police said. Briddell’s stepfather, local hospital worker William Green, had asked Briddell to move out around Christmas and stuck to his word, declining the laundry request, police said. But Briddell screamed, “If you don’t get out of my way, you won’t make it to work tonight!” and then chased his stepdad into a bedroom, […]

NOW PLAYING ON PHAWKER RADIO: Elvis Costello & The Attractions LIVE AT THE EL MOCAMBO

The best rock show this week in Philadelphia happened 29 years ago in Toronto, which either means the winter doldrums are officially upon us or we’re just feeling especially knock-kneed, pissed-off, bespectacled and amphetamined for no particular reason other than it just seems right and natural. Either way, we’re amusing ourselves imagining the punch-up that will invariably ensue when we master time travel (muahahahaha!) and send circa 1978 Elvis Costello to the doorstep of circa 2007 Elvis Costello (a guy who seems more like a Declan MacManus these days, though isn’t that as it should be?). Imagine the mutual looks […]

HOLLA: Note To Self, Make Chuck D. A Man

BY JAMES DOOLITTLE It takes about all of five minutes for the uneasiness to begin while watching Byron Hurt’s “Beyond Beats and Rhymes: A Hip-Hop Head Weighs in on Manhood in Hip-Hop Culture.” It’s a sense of imminent dread that has nothing to do with the focus of the film, but rather the perceived vanity of its director. With a front-ended bio that firmly establishes Hurt as the former quarterback of the Northeastern University football team — that’s right, THE Northeastern University football team — chopped together with plenty of runwayesque shots of our strapping narrator/director/star, there’s a strong sense […]

NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t

[googlevideo]5301095338254002492&q=pan%27s+labyrinth[/googlevideo] Pan’s Labrynth director GUILLERMO DEL TORO is Terry’s guest on Fresh Air today. On RADIO TIMES: The new film BREACH is inspired by the story of Eric O’Neill who was hired by the FBI to work undercover in the Robert Hanssen spy case. Hanssen was subsequently convicted of selling secrets to the Russians. O’NEILL is in the studio with Marty along with the movie’s director and screenwriter BILLY RAY.

GUNCRAZY: COP MOM SHOOTS SON, DEAD

(CBS 3) PHILADELPHIA An apparent argument between a Philadelphia Police officer and her son ended with his death Tuedsay night. Authorities said the 16-year-old was fatally shot inside the family’s home near 57th and Girard Streets around 9:30 p.m. Police said the teen was shot while struggling with his mother for her gun. He was rushed to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, where he was pronounced dead. Internal affairs is investigating the deadly incident. KYW: That Is Fucked UP

Home Of The Philly Blunt Criminalizes The Philly Blunt

(CBS 3) PHILADELPHIA One man, leading a 14-month charge against area convenience stores selling items that could easily be used as drug paraphernalia, claimed victory Tuesday when Mayor Street signed an anti-drug paraphernalia bill. Philadelphia Police Officer and community activist Jerry Rocks Sr. founded ‘Not In My Neighborhood’ in October of 2005 and started a crusade against convenient stores selling items such as flavored cigars, blunts, and wrappers that could be used for illegal drug use. […] Rocks took his fight to the mayor’s office and testified in support of legislation to remove ‘blunts’ and other drug paraphernalia from Philadelphia […]