BY EVA LIAO — BEIJING, CHINA — On the day we fly to the Republic Of China, my father and I meet my mother at Chiang Kai-Shek Airport, where she is flying in from the U.S. (Click here to get the backstory on my mom) When she arrives, it’s obvious my mom’s already drunk. It’s 8 a.m. While we’re standing in a very long, very static check-in line, my mother and I decide to make a trip to the bathroom. Before I’m even able to pull my pants down, I hear the distinctive click and woosh of a […]
PAPERBOY: “Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical” Edition
BY AMY Z. QUINN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right — these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. Hey, we know how it is — so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIRWAY TO HEAVEN Robert Plant is the former lead singer of the band Led Zeppelin, one of the most influential pioneers of heavy metal music. Plant was born in West Bromwich but grew up in Halesowen, formerly Worcestershire, now part of the Metropolitan Borough of Dudley. He left school in his mid-teens and developed a strong passion for the blues, abandoning a promising career as a chartered accountant to become part of the Midlands blues scene.[1] His early blues influences included artists such as Robert Johnson, Bukka White, Skip James, Jerry Miller and Sleepy John Estes. Plant did various […]
Explainer: How To Use Phawker
Think of us as alternative weekly that publishes every frickin’ day! Take as needed. Refresh early and often. Remember that we have nothing to fear but fear itself and it’s what you DON”T know that can hurt you. And know that Phawker is always there for you when you need it — as long as you pay your electric bill — because Phawker is always on. Always we are looking out for you, always we are watching you watching us, especially during BREAKING NEWS of local urgency. Like KYW but without the traffic reports and those fucking typewriters clacking away […]
THE POSTMEN: The Bag
The Japanese Fountains Of Wayne?
KILLADELPHIA: 4 More Dead Since U Went To Bed
Police are investigating four different murders that occurred in Philadelphia Wednesday. So far, there is no one in custody for any of them. Around 8am, police found a 28-year-old woman dead at 524 West Hill Creek Drive, in the Hill Creek Housing Complex in the Crescentville section of the city. Investigators aren’t sure if she was shot or stabbed. At about 10:30am, police responded to Conlyn Street, near Old York Road in the Fern Rock section, where they found a 30-year-old woman dead from multiple stab wounds. The third victim died just after 2pm at the Hospital […]
ANNIVERSARY: ‘Heckuva Job, Brownie’
FEDERAL SPENDING ON KATRINA RECOVERY: $94 Billion FEDERAL SPENDING ON WAR IN IRAQ: $447 Billion
MONEY: CEOs Earn 364 Times More Than Workers
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — The average CEO of a large U.S. company made roughly $10.8 million last year, or 364 times that of U.S. full-time and part-time workers, who made an average of $29,544, according to a joint analysis released Wednesday by the liberal Institute for Policy Studies and United for a Fair Economy. In 1989, for instance, U.S. CEOs of large companies earned 71 times more than the average worker, according to the Economic Policy Institute. MORE
STUDY: ‘Cancerous Mole? What’s The Hurry? Botox? Good God, The Doctor Will Be Right With You!’
NEW YORK TIMES: Patients seeking an appointment with a dermatologist to ask about a potentially cancerous mole have to wait substantially longer than those seeking Botox for wrinkles, a study published online yesterday by The Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology said. Researchers reported that dermatologists in 12 cities offered a typical wait of eight days for a cosmetic patient wanting Botox to smooth wrinkles, compared with a typical wait of 26 days for a patient requesting evaluation of a changing mole, a possible indicator of skin cancer. MORE
VERDICT: The Only Officer Court-Martialed For Abu Ghraib Given A Light Slap On The Dick, Ordered To Stay Away From Naked Man Pyramids
A military jury recommended a reprimand Wednesday for the only officer court-martialed in the Abu Ghraib abuse scandal, sparing him any prison time for disobeying an order to keep silent about the abuse investigation. The jury had acquitted Army Lt. Col. Steven L. Jordan a day earlier of all three charges directly related to the mistreatment of detainees at the U.S.-run prison in Iraq. Those acquittals absolved Jordan, 51, [pictured right, with arm around son] of responsibility for the actions of 11 lower-ranking soldiers who have already been convicted for their roles at Abu Ghraib. The allegations surfaced after the […]
GREETINGS FROM ASBURY PARK: ‘Baby This Town Rips The Bones From Your Back, It’s A Death Trap’
BY DAN DELUCA OF THE INQUIRER For me, growing up an hour down the Garden State Parkway in Ventnor, Asbury Park was a place to escape to, a destination where there was a music scene, unlike the rest of the culturally barren Jersey Shore. We made pilgrimages to the still-active Stone Pony in hopes of catching a Springsteen pop-in. Sometimes, we hit the jackpot. Others, all we got was Gary U.S. Bonds. But when I drove there on a hot Sunday afternoon in July — stopping on the way into town at what seemed like the loneliest Starbucks in the […]
TONIGHT: Transparent Radiation
Woo-Hoo!