In the future we will all live on the Internet, where, abetted by the micro miracles of nanotechnology, we will build vast hive-like colonies within the circuitry of microchips, convert ourselves into JPEGs and climb inside the New Frontier. It will be just like Tron, but with Kraftwerk doing the soundtrack. There will be no need for cars or oil or the wars that come with them, we’ll just attach ourelves to an email and type in the addy to wherever we wanna go; for vast distances, instead of flying, we will simply upload and download ourselves. And, most importantly, we will all dress like they do on Space 1999. You see, I have given a LOT of thought about the future and it bascially all comes down to this: I call the tunic with the black sleeves. (And the chick in the yellow sleeves.) Meanwhile, back in the 21st Century newspapers prepare to shed their print operations like humans shed their tails. And one day, nobody will ever remember there ever was such a thing as print, just like people forgot they had tails. The functional advantage of this will be no more all-black PW covers printing out slate grey and dreary, not even once upon a midnight weary.
WINNER: CITY PAPER