THE MAN WHO HOWLED WOLF TEXT BY JONATHAN VALANIA/PHOTOS BY CHRISTIAN LANTRY The Astro is a broken-down, drunk motel located about an hour north of San Francisco in Santa Rosa, near the arid, wine-growing region of the Sonoma Valley. It’s Tom Waits country – he lives somewhere around here, although exactly where remains a closely guarded secret. MAGNET booked a room at the Astro because the price is right, but upon closer inspection, it’s the ideal setting to await an audience with the man who elevates the down and out in song. The bard of boardinghouse madrigals. The man who […]
Junk Science: YOUR HOSTILE PROJECTILES ARE NO MATCH FOR MY INVISIBLE FORCE FIELD, or, Surviving Thanksgiving “Back Up Off Me”-Style
ELIZABETH FIEND REPORTS: This is my Thanksgiving column. As a vegetarian, you probably expect me to write an article on the horrors of eating turkey — antibiotics, hormones, inhumane factory farming. As an anarchist you may think I’m going to rail against the hypocrisy behind the meaning of the day — the slaughter of Native Americans by the white man, the taking over of someone else’s land. Or perhaps you’re hoping for some vegetarian recipes. In that case, you shoulda tuned into my NPR Vegetarian Thanksgiving interview last year. Instead, I’m going to talk about how to use the science […]
ESPERANTO: Yo La Tengo For Joey Vento
In a bold and arguably pointless move, we just hired a new indie-rock critic right off the boat from Sicily. Please give a warm 215 HELLO to Simone Secci. Honestly, it never occurred to us to ask if he could write in, like, English. Oh well, this one goes out to all our goombahs in Sout’ Phiwwy. Abbondanza! YO LA TENGO INTERVISTA di SIMONE SECCI Incontrare gli Yo La Tengo ? un’esperienza che si rivela ancor pi? piacevole del previsto. Se difatti la semplicit? e la spontaneit? comunicata dalla loro musica e dalla loro immagine pubblica, lasciano pensare a tre […]
BREAKING: Robert Altman, AMERICAN MASTER, Dead At 81
“THE DEATH OF AN OLD MAN IS NOT A TRAGEDY.” –ROBERT ALTMAN, 1925-2006 FROM THE SF CHRONICLE: Garrison Keillor, who starred in Altman’s last movie — this year’s “A Prairie Home Companion” — said Tuesday that love of film clearly came through on the set. “Mr. Altman loved making movies. He loved the chaos of shooting and the sociability of the crew and actors — he adored actors — and he loved the editing room and he especially loved sitting in a screening room and watching the thing over and over with other people,” Keillor said in a statement e-mailed […]
PEEPLE: Brit To Post Sex Vid On MySpace? That’s The Scuttlebutt ’round The Ol’ Burger Basket Where They Would Actually Know The Truth About Such Things
Sources close to Spears report she is “seriously thinking about” giving away a digitally re-mastered copy of the four-hour long sex video. During a visit to Burger Basket with her two sons, Sean Preston and Jayen James Spears said she may just post a clip of the video on MySpace. “Brit figures she’ll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she did by giving away pictures of Jayden James,” said Spears family friend Nyla Price, 55, the owner of Nyla’s Burger Basket. “Half of nuthin’ is nuthin’, and that’s what her lying skunk of a husband will get if […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
On Fresh Air today….actress PARKER POSEY. She’s currently co-starring in her fourth Christopher Guest comedy “For Your Consideration.” From NEW YORK magazine: What looks like wackiness to the untrained eye is actually, in the estimation of a certifiable comic genius like Christopher Guest, the spontaneity that is crucial to the success of his improvised films?the mark of the perfect supporting player, who knows when to yield a scene to other actors and who can just as easily elicit laughs without saying anything at all. “When someone acts like they’re listening and isn’t really listening, that’s what it looks like: ‘Look, […]
IN MEMORIAM: Andre Waters 1962-2006
Waters, 44, died early yesterday from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He took with him the answer to the only question — Why, Andre, why? — worth asking. He may have given at least part of an answer in that nearly three-hour phone conversation in April. He wasn’t just frustrated and bitter about his inability to find a job with an NFL team. He was personally hurt by a system he believed used players up and spit them back out. But then, everything was personal with Waters. That seems surprising, since he was the most violent and reckless […]
THE DARK SIDE OF BLACK HORSE PIKE: Four Women Found Dead In Ditch Behind Welfare Motel
By Jacqueline L. Urgo and Kera Ritter Inquirer Staff Writers MAYS LANDING, N.J. – The bodies of four women were found in a drainage ditch yesterday behind a string of motels on the Black Horse Pike, according to Atlantic County Prosecutor Jeffrey S. Blitz. The victims were found face down in several inches of water behind the Golden Key Motel, Fortune Inn, and Star Motel. Two women walking along a dirt access road off the westbound lane of the Black Horse Pike discovered one body about 3 p.m. Egg Harbor Township police investigating that death found the other bodies. The […]
IF THE FOO SHITS: Susanna Gets Probation For Curbside PPA Smackdown, And Somehow They Care In Pensacola
Philadelphia restaurateur avoids trial November 20, 2006 13:45 EST PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A celebrity chef has agreed to give free cooking lessons to the poor, as part of a deal to avoid trial on assault charges. Susanna Foo was accused of hitting a Philadelphia Parking Authority officer who ticketed a delivery truck outside her restaurant. As part of a program for non-violent first offenders, she’ll do 50 hours of community service and be on probation for six months. Prosecutors say they’ll withdraw charges of aggravated assault and recklessly endangering another person, but will keep open a simple-assault charge during Foo’s […]
BELIEVE IT OR NOT: Handcuffed Suspect Shoots Himself In The Head In The Back Of Cop Car
This reminds us of that old Monty Python sketch, The Twit of the Year Contest, wherein one of said ‘twits’ runs himself over with his own car. But that was comedy and this is tragedy, with more than a tinge of fishy odor: Police: Handcuffed Suspect Shoots Self A suspect shot himself in the head while in the back of a police car with his hands cuffed behind his back, police said Monday.Oliver Neal III, 26, was in critical condition, police told the Philadelphia Inquirer. It was not immediately clear whether Neal was trying to kill himself or if he […]
NUCLEAR MELTDOWN: Kramer Goes Macaca
This kind of shit you would expect from Newman, but Cosmo? Oy vey. WARNING: Offensive language, adult situations, and the excruciating spectacle of a once-beloved man committing career suicide.
LEGAL LANDMARK: Bloggers Can’t Be Sued For The Secondhand Smoke of Libel
Wow, if this ain’t legal manna falling from the heavens ‘neath the robes of the California State Supreme Court, we’ll name our first born Stare Decisis: Nov. 20 (Bloomberg) — The California Supreme Court said Internet publishers can’t be held liable if they post defamatory comments written by others, a victory for online companies like Google Inc. and Time Warner Inc.’s America Online Inc. The court, in a unanimous decision, said those claiming defamation can only sue the original source of the allegedly offending comments, not publishers or distributors, even if the distributor is an individual. Internet users are protected […]
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