[SOURCE: The Onion] BILL MAHER: People are always debating, is Buddhism a religion or a philosophy: it’s a religion. You’re a religion if you do something as weird as when the Buddhist monks scrutinize two-year-olds to find the reincarnation of the dude who just died, and then choose one of the toddlers as the sacred Lama: “His poop is royal!” Sorry, but thinking you can look at a babbling, barely-housebroken, uneducated being and say, “That’s our leader” doesn’t make you enlightened. It makes you a Sarah Palin supporter. MORE
BLAND LOYALTY: Air Tiger Goes Dark
LOS ANGELES TIMES: As Tiger Woods uses silence to deal with the uproar over his alleged infidelities, his sponsors apparently are following suit, quietly not running his ads until the worst is over. Rick Burton, one-time brand manager for Miller beer and former chief marketing officer for the U.S. Olympic Committee, doesn’t think this means Tiger is no longer a bulletproof brand. “If a sponsor cuts him loose, that makes it look like the relationship was tenuous to begin with,” Burton said Wednesday. “I don’t think Accenture, Nike or Gillette want to do that. Sometimes what they’ll do is take […]
CHINESE DEMOCRACY: Just Sayin’
ASSOCIATED PRESS: All in all, it’s hard to imagine how Woods could have handled the whole affair worse, but don’t look for any exodus from Wood’s stable of corporate backers. Tiger is too good, too dominant, too telegenic and his transgressions, to use his word, are too minor, to scare off the big companies. Not surprisingly, Nike, like his other corporate partners, is offering its unconditional allegiance to Woods, who is arguably the company’s most important athlete. “Nike supports Tiger and his family. Our relationship remains unchanged,” the Beaverton-area company said in a statement. Forbes estimated earlier this year that […]
BIMBO ERUPTIONS: It’s Raining Other Women
Not the alleged Tiger Woods smackdown but an incredible animated simulation courtesy of, of all places, a Chinese newscast. NEW YORK POST: At least two more buxom beauties claim to have had torrid affairs with embattled superstar golfer Tiger Woods — including one whom he bombarded with more than 300 text messages and warned last week that his wife was getting suspicious, according to Post sources and two bombshell reports. MORE RADAR: More women have come forward claiming that they’ve had affairs with the golf superstar, as RadarOnline.com was first to report on Tuesday. Jaimee Grubbs [PICTURED, LEFT], the latest […]