New feature: AP Ticker does dramatic readings of song lyrics. We start off with Public Enemy’s “The Enemy Battle Hymn Of The Public.”

AP says ‘good riddance’ to the Ducks, the Gulf spill and Mel G. Plus, the auspicious debut of our new sportscaster, Hot Carl!

AP on the beauty of the sexy beast within. He is man, hear him roar.

Each week, our pal Jamie from the SPCA drops buy with a cute little puppy in need of a home. This show is already working its magic. Lila, the puppy we had on last week, has found a good home. And Puppy Of The Week director Marc Brodzik fell so hard for this little guy, he adopted him after the shoot. Awww.

A.P. goofs on Philly Mag’s cover story blaring the no-shit news that marijuana is, like, popular.

Your life coach AP Ticker on why he loves, loves, loves sum, sum, summertime!

A.P. discusses Nutter in the Gulf, Christie on weed, ?uestlove’s Kanye moment, Comcast swallowing NBC and the homeless man living in center field at Citizens Bank Park.

New feature on Scrapple TV News: once a month we will bring our pal Jamie from the SPCA on to talk about some swell new doggie with a hard-luck story and in need of a home. We start off with Mila, who came into the shelter as a stray on April 4, 2010. She was a sad sight, covered in tar and mud, and was immediately a staff favorite because of her amazing spirit and willingness to give us love, even though she clearly hadn’t had anyone to care for her for quite some time. This 2-3 year old pit […]

A.P. chides the Christie administration for failing to meet the July 1st deadline for implementing New Jersey’s new medical marijuana law, and strongly suggests putting The Dude in charge. RELATED: New Jersey To Delay Medical Mary Jane

A.P. reports on dope in Delaware and everywhere, the on-camera meltdown of a NC senator, the death of his buddy Jimmy Dean, World Cup fever, and Pete Rose’s corked bat.

With your life coach, A.P. Ticker.