BY AMY Z. QUINN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right — these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. Hey, we know how it is — so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up […]
Search Results for: we know it's only rock n roll
LIVE & DIRECT: Bonnaroo Day 3
BY EVA LIAO AND MAVIS LINNEMANN MANCHESTER, TENN. — We got a late start yesterday, spent the morning recovering. Some asshole started blaring Jay Z from his car at 7:30 in the morning. We all moaned and grumbled. 6 p.m. Ben Harper opened with a killer jam to “With My Own Two Hands.” Harper showed the audience a side they don’t usually hear on his albums. Known for his impassioned guitar skills, though not always evident in his recordings, his work on the slide guitar really highlighted his raw ability. John Paul Jones made a special appearance for a balls-to-the-wall, […]
JUNK SCIENCE: Is That An Overworked Pancreas In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Hypoglycemia?
BY ELIZABETH FIEND LIVING EDITOR The Glycemic Index could save your life — literally. It could make living with diabetes easier. Or prevent diabetes in the first place. It can reduce your risk of heart disease. It will lower your cholesterol. It will make you thinner. It might even get you laid. The Glycemic Index is a scientific measurement of how rapidly foods release their sugars into your blood. It’s an invaluable, easy-to-use tool for maintaining or getting to a proper weight. Forget diets. Get jiggy wit’ the GI instead. Research on the Glycemic Index originally began as a way […]
THE SECRET HISTORY OF AMERICAN BANDSTAND: The Fall Of Bob Horn And The Rise Of Dick — Drunk Driving, Statutory Rape, Geator The Bagman, And Mrs. Annenberg Is NOT Amused
Let us just say up front, we have no idea where the truth lies in all of this and merely offer this up for your consideration. In the last 10 years, a very different story about the rise of Bandstand has emerged that runs counter to the soft-focus squeaky-clean nostalgia we’ve all come to know and accept about the beginnings of the Philly-based Mecca of Sock-Hopdom. (The time-hook on this is a glowing notice in the Inquirer about Leonore Annenberg — widow of Walter Annenberg and noted philanthropist and a major 215 civic supporter in her own right — being […]
MAILBAG: Readers Remember Rick D.
REST IN POWER: Grafitti Outside Tritone, 15th & South [Photo By SARA SHERR] Hey Jon, Scotty here, the fat blond soundman from Upstairs at Nick’s and so forth. Just saw you were the editor of this webzine and wanted to thank you for putting up a blurb about that idiot comment made in response to the statement about Rick D. booking Dobbs. That was me replying — some people just have no class at all. The service was really highly emotionally-charged as to be expected but there was a huge turnout with tons of people showing their love for Rick […]
POP IN TAPE: Hot Wax In The 215
BY MICHAEL ‘Fich’ FICHMAN Baseball is America’s perpetually redeeming characteristic. I care too much — I’m a harsh critic, a cynic. Sometimes I’ll hate something just on principle. I think too much, can’t relax. I’m always thinking about which 10 things I need to be doing, instead of doing them. But in the spring, I’m mellowed out and ready for baseball. This is a music column. However, I used to be a sportswriter and hey, a guy can like both pickles and ice cream, sometimes at the same time. I’m gonna throw together some kosher dill pistachio mint for yinz […]
WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FANS
What it Feels Like When The Band You Love Hates You BY JONATHAN VALANIA We all have bands we hate, really hate-you know, with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. You hate REM, I still hate Journey. There’s a lot of that going around. But how many people can say a band hates them? Tin-eared soundmen, people who jack the gear out of their van while they sleep, and the tiresome jokesters who still yell “Freebird!”–and that’s about it. And when you narrow it down to people who are hated by their favorite bands, well, it’s a very elite […]
POP IN TAPE: Hot Wax In The 215
BY MICHAEL FICHMAN I’ve worked on and off in sports journalism (professional, then amateur) for about seven years now. Periodically, the small-mindedness of a niche-interested group becomes apparent. For example, when a talented football player like Barry Sanders retires before his time, sportswriters lose their fucking minds. “How could he do that? He’s just walking away?!” When Michael Jordan came back for the umpteenth time (or decided to play baseball for that matter), people whined that he was tarnishing his legacy, as if MJ himself hadn’t created it. Most sportswriters and hardcore sports fans were once aspiring athletes, moon-shooting idealistic […]
NOW PLAYING: NEON BIBLE by THE ARCADE FIRE
[NOW PLAYING ON PHAWKER RADIO: NEON BIBLE by THE ARCADE FIRE] Recently, we found a copy of the new Arcade Fire album under a rock somewhere, or maybe it was under the sea. It doesn’t really matter. The point is we think it’s REALLY FUCKIN’ GOOD, if you like that kind of thing. Just to be sure, we focus-grouped it with several key Phawker demographics. Here’s the feedback we overheard from behind the two-way mirror:
TRIBUTE: BYE BYE MISS AMERICAN SUGAR PIE
BY AMY Z. QUINN This being Valentine’s Day, the Holiday That Launched a Thousand Mixtapes, I wanted to talk about Rock and Roll Broads — Lady Rockers — and what they taught me about love and sex. The lessons are many and definitely worth sharing, but that will have to wait for another time. Because today, despite the fact that it makes me vaguely nauseous and sad, I have to talk about Anna Nicole Smith — so let’s just get it all out there and off our chests so we can go back to our lives, shall we? On one […]
NOW PLAYING: Sloan’s NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT
NOW PLAYING ON PHAWKER RADIO/REVIEW BY ED KING At 30 songs long ? 30 songs! ? it’s a wonder anyone will hear the end of this album, but that’s why I’m here. Never say never, Sloan. It feels like only last week that I came home from high school — having made a quick stop at the Sam Goody at Roosevelt Mall — with Elvis Costello & the Attractions’ latest, Get Happy!!, in sweaty hand. Oh baby! Through the wonders of a hitherto described process of “groove cramming,” the band and producer Nick Lowe managed to pack 20 soulful, fractured, […]
REWIND 2006: THE YEAR IN MUSIC
WELCOME TO THE FIRST ANNUAL PHAWKER JAZZ AND POP POLL The critics have spoken, the ballots have been cast, all chads undangled, and fed into a mainframe computer the size of an Olympic swimming pool, to be crunched with the hard calculus of SUCKS/DOES NOT SUCK and arranged in impenetrably dense type on a spreadsheet that stretches from your house to mine. Hey, who we kiddin’? We don’t even have a mainframe the size of an Olympic swimming pool. Yet. And 30,000 CDs are released every year and fuck you if you think we’re gonna listen to all of them […]
BRITNEY’S VAGINA MONOLOGUES: Fanning The Flames of FIREcrotches Everywhere, Phawker Contributors Offer Gender And Generational Perspectives On Celebrity Pussy Galore
BRITNEY SPEARS, PLEASE PUT AWAY YOUR VAGINA BY MOTHER PHAWKER What I’m trying to tell you, dear Brit, is that you can hang out with Paris and Lindsay and Nicole or whichever tarts you choose, but YOU ARE NOT LIKE THEM. Not by virtue of talent, or beauty, or wealth, or skinniness. No, Mrs. Federline, when you gave birth to your two sons, you became unlike women who don’t have children. Hang out with your single, childless girlfriends all you want. Go out and party — you’ve been in the house changing diapers for two years, you’ve earned it. But […]