ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR: Q&A w/ John Lydon

EDITOR’S NOTE: This interview originally posted on November 11th 2015. BY JONATHAN VALANIA Thirty-eight years after the release of Never Mind The Bollocks, the windshield of pop culture is still fogged up with the huffing and puffing of critics of hyperventilating over the game-changing filth and the fury of The Sex Pistols — for which John Lydon, aka Johnny Rotten, served as acerbic, bug-eyed jester raging against the machinery of a corrupt Establishment and a necrotic music biz with a voice like Godzilla’s death ray — so I will spare you the lecture. Except to say this: in the fullness […]

HILLARY CLINTON: Tryanny Is On Our Doorstep

Artwork by SARAH SOLE HILLARY CLINTON: It’s been nearly two years since Donald Trump won enough Electoral College votes to become president of the United States. On the day after, in my concession speech, I said, “We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead.” I hoped that my fears for our future were overblown. They were not. In the roughly 21 months since he took the oath of office, Trump has sunk far below the already-low bar he set for himself in his ugly campaign. Exhibit A is the unspeakable cruelty that his administration has inflicted on […]

EXCERPT: Fear & Loathing In Pennsyltucky

Illustration by BRITT SPENCER PHILADELPHIA MAGAZINE: December 5th, 2017, started out as just another low and mildly contemptible day in Harrisburg. But by midmorning, it had metastasized into one that would live in infamy. In the bowels of the State Capitol building, in the midst of an undoubtedly fascinating debate about landlocked easements before the State Government Committee, something both unforgivable and endlessly hilarious happened: Representative Matt Bradford (D-Montgomery County), in a futile effort to stave off interruption long enough to finish his sentence, briefly touched the arm of the man seated next to him, Representative Daryl Metcalfe (R-Butler County), […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: F*ck You, Mr. President

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY WARNING: When describing a cesspool, sometimes you have to include a little excrement. So, if you’re sensitive to expletives, don’t bother going any further. So, what’s with America’s moderate mainstream media and the Democrat party tiptoeing around this lying piece of shit we euphemistically refer to as the “president.” What’s with their “treading lightly” when it comes to reporting on, or responding to, this lying, pandering, sewer-dweller? This uber-repulsive Defecator/Divider in Chief; his entire bottom-feeding, obsequious administration; and his kowtowing, sycophantic Republican House and Senate minions are nothing less than vile modern-day reincarnations of the […]

SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Suffer The Children

  Picture the Fox News anchor belching out the following lead: “A phony, insincere Chelsea Clinton (or Michelle Obama — take your pick) has visited our southern border to make it appear that she supports keeping illegal immigrant families together while showing her TRUE feelings by brandishing a coat with the following message emblazoned on its back, ‘I Really Don’t Care, Do U?’” Yeah, okay, so maybe I’ve cleaned it up a little. What else could I do? It was a FOX NEWS lead after all! So, why’d she do it? Well, all I can tell you is that literally […]

THE MAN WHO PUT WORDS IN OBAMA’S MOUTH: Q&A With Jon Lovett, White House Speechwriter, Comedian, Screenwriter & Podcaster Extraordinaire

  Former Obama administration speechwriter/screenwriter/comedian Jon Lovett brings his popular Lovett Or Leave It podcast to the Merriam Theater on Sunday for a live taping, with local guests Franchesca Ramsey and Dylan Marron on the panel and actor Ezra Miller’s band Sons of an Illustrious Father on hand to play the theme song. We got Lovett on the phone earlier this week to talk about happier times in Obama White House, coping with the darkness of Trump, rookie mistakes in Hollywood, how you explain to your parents that upon graduating college with a math degree you plan to become a […]

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: Just Do It!

  Here we go, people. The 2018 midterm election, our only hope for rolling back the pumpkin-tinted horrors of Trumpism, continues tomorrow with Pennsyltucky’s primary for the following offices: Governor Lt. Governor U.S. Senate U.S. House of Representatives PA Senate (even-numbered districts) PA House of Representatives The polls are open from 7 AM to 8 PM. By law in Philadelphia, anyone in line at 8 pm has to be given the chance to vote not matter how long the line. Here is a list of your rights and responsibilities as a registered voter. Vote hard! RECCOMENDED: The Committee of Seventy’s Digital […]

EXCERPT: ‘The Worst Person In Government’

Artwork by DANIEL ADEL GEORGE WILL: Donald Trump, with his feral cunning, knew. The oleaginous Mike Pence, with his talent for toadyism and appetite for obsequiousness, could, Trump knew, become America’s most repulsive public figure. And Pence, who has reached this pinnacle by dethroning his benefactor, is augmenting the public stock of useful knowledge. Because his is the authentic voice of today’s lickspittle Republican Party, he clarifies this year’s elections: Vote Republican to ratify groveling as governing. Last June, a Trump Cabinet meeting featured testimonials offered to Dear Leader by his forelock-tugging colleagues. His chief of staff, Reince Priebus, caught […]

THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH: Q&A w/ Gen. Michael Hayden, Ex-Director of The NSA & The CIA

Artwork by DONKEY HOTEY EDITOR’S NOTE: This interview originally posted on March 14th, 2016 BY JONATHAN VALANIA The irony of people like me having to, by law, inform General Michael Hayden, former head of the CIA and NSA, that I was recording our phone conversation may have been long ago lost its amusing resonance for the general, but not for me. Given his faintly Bond villain mein — the fleshy Blofeld-ian dome, the piercing blue-eyed X-ray stare, the indomitable ramrod straight, four-star posture during appearances on cable news and at congressional hearings — and status as the architect of the […]