BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Hi, we’re Bubba and Bubbette and we’re rootin’ tootin’ card carryin’ Republican rallyin’ MAGA KAG kinda folks and we’d like to take a few words to explain to you flamin’ Dem Libs why we like this Trump guy so much. First off, he tells it like it is. He doesn’t need fancy long words to get his point across. He makes us feel like he’s one of us. Always makes us feel like he’s talking straight to us hard working white folks. With Mr. Trump we never feel like there’s any shading of the truth. […]
OP-ED: The New Abnormal
EDITOR’S NOTE: Gonna be doing a weekly OpEd for Philly Mag until this shit show is over and I can go back to my day job. Whatever that is. Here’s the first one. PHILADELPHIA MAGAZINE: At a press conference back in 1986, President Ronald Reagan famously declared “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help’” setting into motion the austere neoliberal in-free-markets-we-trust, get-a-job-you-bum zeitgeist that held sway for the next 34 years. That is until the COVID-19 pandemic finally breached the walls of fortress America and quickly metastasized into […]
NPR 4 THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR: Apocalyptic novelist Max Brooks is something of an expert on planning for pandemics and other disasters. The author, whose books include World War Z, Germ Warfare and the forthcoming Devolution, has toured the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and has reviewed government response plans related to various emergency situations — all in the course of research. “We have a network in place that we as taxpayers have been funding to get us ready for something just like this,” Brooks says of the U.S. response to the COVID-19 pandemic. But, he adds, “we have been disastrously slow and […]
WARNING: Something Wicked This Way Comes
BLOOMBERG OPINION: The problems of how to accommodate rising aspirations for equality through inequality-generating economies were particularly acute for nation-states such as Germany, Italy and Japan, that were trying to catch up with economically advanced Western countries. Once the series of economic shocks that began in the late 19th century climaxed in the Great Depression, the elevation of the far-right to power, and intensified conflicts between states, was all but guaranteed. In our own conjuncture, all ingredients of the previous calamity are present, if ominously on an unparalleled scale. For decades now, de-industrialization, the outsourcing of jobs, and then automation, […]
CINEMA: The MAGA Hunters
THE HUNT (Directed by Craig Zobel, 89 minutes, USA, 2020) BY DAN TABOR FILM CRITIC The Hunt is a guns-blazing riff on the classic humans-hunting-humans short story The Most Dangerous Game, with a very relevant Age of MAGA twist. The plot revolves around a Pizza Gate-style conspiracy called “Manor Gate” — an email chain conspiracy theory about a farm where a group of liberal elites hunt Trumpers after giving them a weapon and a head start into the woods. While the film is careful not to invoke Trump’s name in the film, it’s pretty clear who these right-wing folks voted […]
How Bloomberg Ate Biden’s Lunch In Philadelphia
PHILADELPHIA MAGAZINE: As you may have noticed if you’ve been near a TV recently and it was turned on and dialed in to pretty much any channel, ever since Mike Bloomberg formally announced his intentions back in November to throw his hat into the Dem presidential ring, he’s been aggressively prosecuting a coast to coast air campaign, carpet bombing swing states and inflection points all along the primary map with a vast arsenal of pithy, pointed anti-Trump television spots that run with the kind of ubiquity and perpetuity that you’d have to be a billionaire many times over to […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Impeach The Motherf*cker
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Just when you thought the Feces in Chief and his Make America Gag Again minions couldn’t get any more mephitic: 1. The four-time draft dodging oval office outhouser has declared that henceforth he will play hind-endmost judge, jury and get-out-of-jail-free(er) in all things “war crimes related” … that have ALREADY been adjudicated by the armed services’ highest courts. Huh? Okay, I think I get it: it’s an inbred inclination of his to want to protect, preserve and defend all acts of deceit, immorality and/or cowardice. 2. Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s personal Ukraine quid pro quo purveying […]
TIPPING POINT: Seven Freshmen Dem Reps With Impeccable National Security Credentials Call For Impeachment Inquiry in Washington Post Op-Ed
WASHINGTON POST: Our lives have been defined by national service. We are not career politicians. We are veterans of the military and of the nation’s defense and intelligence agencies. Our service is rooted in the defense of our country on the front lines of national security. We have devoted our lives to the service and security of our country, and throughout our careers, we have sworn oaths to defend the Constitution of the United States many times over. Now, we join as a unified group to uphold that oath as we enter uncharted waters and face unprecedented allegations against […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Democrat Disneyland
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Beam me up Bernie … and Elizabeth and Kamala and Kirsten and about a dozen other Democrat candidates! In what other-worldly universe, parallel or otherwise, does the following sound like a winning strategy? “Medicare For ALL, period, whether or not you like the private coverage you currently have OR might prefer to purchase instead;” “Open borders;” “Free healthcare and college educations for every American citizen AND everyone who enters this country legally or ILLEGALLY;” Did I mention COMPLETE sustenance as well? Oh, and yes, we’ll STILL maintain our military might! ALL of it fully paid […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: The Imperial Wizard Prez
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY The Feces in Chief hosts a gathering of some 200 social media bigots at the nation’s house and America’s so-called “news” disseminators barely raise a whimper! Why? Because they’re too goddamn busy filling their headlines and newscasts with House Dem internecine warfare, divisions and discontent, mostly centered around Nancy Pelosi and the belligerence of a few fellow House members. You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I no longer give a shit–or even a teeny weeny iota–who the Democrats choose as their standard bearers. I’ll support financially and physically whoever they select so long as […]
SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Liar-In-Chief
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Ever noticed how CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS and, of course, Fox News, along with every other major news disseminator–with the commendable exceptions of the New York Daily News and Phawker.com–are seemingly loathe to declare, “he’s a LIAR,” “he’s LYING,” “he LIES,” or “he LIED” when describing whatever it was that Trump inevitably LIED about the last time he parted his lips! Why is that? Why those, “that appears to be a falsehood,” “it simply strains credulity,” “that’s highly questionable,” or the even gentler “that’s not necessarily true.” Why the wrist patting? Why the pussyfooting? […]
DEAR PRESIDENT TRUMP: Congratulations On Being Only The Second Fattest Man On The Stage For A Change — Also, This Looks A Little Gay
BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Memorial Day is unquestionably the most important, most hallowed, most patriotic of ALL national holidays. It pays homage to the more than 2,750,000 men and women who bravely made the ultimate sacrifice protecting and defending the rights, privileges and liberties the rest of us so often take for granted. So, where was the five-time draft-dodging president of this great nation? You were hitting the links and watching sumo wrestling with the Prime Minister of Japan a couple thousand miles away. Did you have to be there? Nope. Were you forced to choose this particular holiday […]
WORTH REPEATING: 1021 Former Federal Prosecutors Sign Petition Asserting If Not For The DOJ Policy Prohibiting The Indictment Of A Sitting President Donald Trump Would Be Charged With Multiple Felonies Outlined In The Mueller Report
MEDIUM: We are former federal prosecutors. We served under both Republican and Democratic administrations at different levels of the federal system: as line attorneys, supervisors, special prosecutors, United States Attorneys, and senior officials at the Department of Justice. The offices in which we served were small, medium, and large; urban, suburban, and rural; and located in all parts of our country. Each of us believes that the conduct of President Trump described in Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report would, in the case of any other person not covered by the Office of Legal Counsel policy against indicting a sitting […]