BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Forty years ago, the Supreme Court ripped sole control of reproductive rights from the iron fist of the patriarchy and handed it back to the people who actually do most of the living, dying and birthing in this matter: women. The patriarchy has been furiously lashing out legislatively ever since. Alabama’s de facto overturning of Roe v. Wade is but the most recent example of male dominance in the War Of The Womb, which begs the question: Why do so many American women appear to be waving white flags and allowing men to dictate what they […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY As just about everyone knows by now, the Supreme Court recently heard oral arguments on the constitutionality of the federal government’s Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA) or as I like to call it, Deprival Of Matrimony Act. If ever a SCOTUS finding in favor of the plaintiff(s) appeared to be a slam dunk, this would be the one. No less than the First and Second Circuit Court of Appeals and eight other federal courts have already found most of DOMA’s constituent parts to be unconstitutional. So why all the blather and bother? Well, when four […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY This one’s for all the folks who are going to be adversely affected by the “sequester.”There are many examples of why there should never have been any such thing, but verbiage constraints limit me to highlighting only the top four which I’ll present in the order of the magnitude of their egregiousness. But before I get into the meaty implications of the matter, allow me to digress for just a moment. For once (there may have been others but I’ll be damned if I can remember even one) I’m going to give Republicans credit for […]

BY WILLIAM C. HENRY With Pope Benedict XVI on the lam, it’s time once again for the Catholic Consiglieri to elect a new Don. My first reaction upon hearing that disgraced Vulture (the truly beautiful black and red bird doesn’t deserve association with this far-less-than-princely predator) Roger Mahony would be allowed to vote for the new Pope (and it turns out he’s wasn’t the only one) was: You’ve got to be sh*tting me! My second was: Well, of course he will, and why not? Hell, if for literally scores of years, the hierarchy of the Catholic church had deemed the […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY It hasn’t been formally consented to by the full U.S. Senate, but following yesterday’s 14/11 party-line Armed Services Committee vote, it appears that America’s next Secretary of Defense will almost certainly be the former Republican Senator from Nebraska, Chuck Hagel. The committee’s “advice and consent” work was hardly a seamless process, however, thanks in large part to Tea Party suck-up Lindsey Graham (R-SC). Turns out the hearing had to be adjourned immediately following each of his opening remarks/questioning periods so that janitors could refill the room deodorizers. Sure, there were a number of other Republican […]

  BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Last week, Paul Ryan (you remember him, he’s the guy whose selection was sure to put Mitt over the top) proclaimed the following: “Mitt Romney and I lost not because of ideas, but due to ineffective communication. President Obama and Vice President Biden also prevailed because they did a better job with ‘technology and (voter) turnout.’” Hey, Paul, do me a grand favor. Savor those words, cherish them, embrace them, nurture them, memorize them! Above all, promise me you’ll take every opportunity possible to repeat them especially whenever there’s even the slightest chance they’ll be […]

Illustration by ALEX FINE BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Duly appreciative of the Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, and Pulitzers — all of which are indeed honorable — I believe the time has come to establish a new and entirely different type of awards program. A completely cynical national dishonors program, if you will. One that judges and affords official recognition of and to the worst. The very worst in American politics, that is. I propose to call this new program the American Scumbucket Awards. Nicknamed the Scummys, and represented by a rusty statuette of a smiling, pants-down George W. Bush perched on […]

  1. Some $500 billion of hard-earned taxpayer money will be squandered in the next 12 months in the form of corporate welfare and archaic, outmoded, completely useless military overkill. As usual, the giveaway will be perpetrated by literally thousands of the most consistently hypocritical bastards on the face of the earth, i.e., your elected local, state and national representatives. Surprisingly, it will be condoned (in at least one instance) by a somewhat two-faced but nevertheless respected national publication. 2. Under federal law, marijuana use and distribution is still illegal. Period. Just because Colorado and Washington state have taken the […]