BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
PEARL JAM: Elderly Woman Behind The Counter
Eddie Vedder performs solo tonight and tomorrow night at the Tower. Don’t give us that hipper-than-thou look, we know there’s a part of you, buried under gallons of Kenzinger and back issues of Vice, that still thinks Ten is rad.
CAPTURING THE FRIEDBERGERS: Or, 13 Snappy Answers To 13 Silly Questions For The Fiery Furnaces
FIERY FURNACES 1979: Matthew Friedberger and his sister Darth Vader Eleanor PHAWKER: Have you ever been arrested? If so please explain. MATTHEW FREIDBERG: Well rested, mostly. A-rested, rarely. Explain what? PHAWKER: Never mind. Have you ever knowingly killed anyone? If so please explain. MF: I read in an email very much like this one that we were just killin’ it every night cross Europe. Maybe you can explain that. Knowingly? PHAWKER: What was the last book you read? MF: Too personal. PHAWKER: Wow, that must have been some book! Okay, last album purchased? Was it worth it? MF: Dizzy Gillespie […]
KILLADELPHIA: Three Dead Since U Went 2 Bed
INQUIRER: Homicide detectives were investigating three killings in Philadelphia that occurred late Monday and early yesterday. Rasheed Rose, 36, was shot multiple times at 10:14 p.m. Monday in the 1400 block of South 21st Street in the city’s Point Breeze neighborhood. He was taken to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania and pronounced dead at 10:33 p.m. A 17-year-old youth was fatally shot in the 1900 block of South 56th Street in Southwest Philadelphia at 1:11 a.m. yesterday. He was pronounced dead at 1:51 a.m. at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. At 2:34 a.m., police responded to a shooting in […]
GIANT ROBOT ALERT: Oh No, There Goes Tokyo!
Poor Tokyo, if it’s not Godzilla terrorizing the city like a ginormous bull in an iddy-biddy China shop, it’s Mothra, or King Ghidorah, or Mechagodzilla, or Rodan fucking their shit up. And now this. When will it end? No need to panic, though, it looks like the authorities have it under control. That retaining wall should hold him, and if not it will be days before he gets here. So, as you were people…move along, nothing to see here…
BACHELORETTE: Her Rotating Head
“Quietly psychedelic, the quavery vocal harmonies, wheezy synthesisers and attic-salvaged stringed instruments are layered with a shy urgency, a breathtaking tangle of dreaminess and directness… slow oscillations between intimacy and abstraction…. Having understood the implications of technology – electricity having made us all angels, etcetera – Bachelorette fractured herself into a girl-group of one, clouds of ah-ah-ahs and shoo-wop shoo-wops both underscoring and distracting from her tales of gravitational and hormonal pull.”– Author Unknown Bachelorette plays Kung Fu Necktie June 17th.
City Council Committee Approves Ban On Plastic Bags
PHILLY CLOUT: City Council’s Committee on the Environment just unanimously approved the legislation banning the type of plastic bags typically used at supermarkets and pharmacies in the city. Those bags will have to be replaced after July 1, 2011 with recyclable paper bags, compostable plastic bags or reusable bags. An amendment also calls for education programs in consultation with retailers and environmental advocacy groups to explain the measure to consumer before it is enforced. DiCicco is aiming for a final vote by the full Council next week, before the start of a three-month recess. MORE RELATED: Magic Flying Bag Scene […]
SHOCK: Turns Out Gay Guy From American Idol Is Gay
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER: “American Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert has landed the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, where he talks about sex, drugs and his “Idol” experiences. The 27-year-old singer from San Diego acknowledges in an interview that he’s gay, and says it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. “I’m proud of my sexuality,” he says. “I embrace it. It’s just another part of me.” Lambert says he was inspired to audition for the Fox network singing competition after having a “psychedelic experience” at the Burning Man festival in Nevada. There, he says, he experimented with “certain funguses.” “I knew that […]
CONCERT REVIEW: Jenny Lewis At The Troc
BY DIANCA POTTS After selling my extra tickets to Monday night’s show to a stranger from Craigslist, it dawned on me. I’ve been listening to the shit for almost a decade. But I’m a creature of habit and a shameless JLew fan, so despite my bummed out mood from overdosing on Eggers short stories earlier that afternoon, I shuffled over to the Troc, AA skirt and all. Torn between catching Farmer Dave’s set and stuffing my face, I went with my gut instinct and headed to Mixx where an anime-esque waiter denied my BFF tempura and served us lukewarm Miso […]
FOR NOTHING: Thanks Philly Parking Authority!
INQUIRER: The cause of the latest migraine for city tourism officials: Parking Wars, the gritty A&E series that traces the not-so-glamorous workday lives of Philadelphia Parking Authority employees as they boot, tow, and ticket their way through the day. “My family and I were going to visit Philadelphia, but after watching ‘Parking Wars,’ we have decided not to because of fear for losing our car!!!!” “After watching the series, I would NEVER visit your city. Beyond the obscene parking laws, the people in your city come off as rude, hard, cynical and unfriendly.” “I am thrilled to say I have […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR Perhaps best known for his role on the NBC comedy series The Office as Andy Bernard, the salesman who loves a cappella, actor Ed Helms takes to the big screen this summer in The Hangover, a buddy movie about three groomsmen who lose their soon-to-be married friend in Las Vegas. A graduate of Oberlin College in Ohio, Helms got his start in comedy with numerous sketch comedy groups. Prior to joining the cast of The Office, he was a senior correspondent on The Daily Show. ALSO, Journalist Gretchen Morgenson discusses efforts in Congress to regulate default swaps, which […]
RAWK TAWK: Burying The Hatchet With Black Francis
[Illustration by ALEX FINE] BY JONATHAN VALANIA Set the Wayback Machine to 1988. I’m a college radio DJ stranded in the middle of Pennsyltucky. Entranced by the naked boob on the cover of Surfer Rosa, I slap it on the turntable and…the Pixies had me by the first 10 seconds of “Where Is My Mind?” and never really let go. Shortly thereafter I got a gig working for a Pennsyltucky daily. They asked me one day if I wanted to interview some guy named Black Francis from the Pixies. Would I? Man, this was a dream come true! I could […]
BECAUSE EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
MIAMI HERALD: Bret Michaels may have to take out his extensions for a bit while his head heals. The eternal bachelor had a run-in with some stage scenery at Sunday night’s Tony Awards. Michaels and his band Poison performed Nothin’ But a Good Time with the cast of Rock of Ages, which celebrates 1980s hair music. As Michaels exited the stage, he glanced back to his fans, and a descending set piece knocked him to the ground. Check it out on YouTube; it looks nasty. MORE