With friends like this, who needs enemas? From the Department of Faint Praise comes this typically backhanded compliment from our old dear friend, Joey Sweeney. We took the liberty of fucking with it in the pursuit of humor. Ah, feels like old times: Phawker Produces First (Sort Of) Readable Post, Nabs Interview With Jose Swilton CITIZEN MOM REPORTS: The scariest guy on the Internet plops down next to me on a banquette. He’s sporting a head of pink hair, a dark T-shirt-and-jacket combo, skinny jeans and moon boots ? an ensemble that probably nobody else could pull off. He looks […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
BY JONATHAN VALANIA FOR THE INQUIRER: Among people who like that sort of thing, Colin Meloy – ringleader of the Portland, Ore.-based folk-pop collective the Decemberists – is the most satisfyingly literary songwriter to emerge in recent memory. Others find his tune-smithing to be cloying and contrived, like an English-class apple-shiner who makes sure that his essays always incorporate alliteration, onomatopoeia and at least three examples of simile and metaphor – just because he can. A bookish, blocky man with an owlish countenance and the physique of a chatroom habitue, Meloy writes songs best described as historic pulp fiction, a […]
OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE: Casino Fund Created To Alleviate Crushing Poverty Of A.C. Underclass Buys House Of Blues & New IMAX — For The Casinos
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (AP) _ The agency created to redirect casino revenue to revitalize downtrodden areas in the city and around New Jersey has given more than 20 percent of the money back to the casinos to subsidize improvements and expansion, according to published reports. According to a report in Sunday’s New York Times, the Casino Reinvestment Development Authority, created in 1984, has given $400 million to the casinos for projects such as: -The construction of 13,000 new hotel rooms, including 800 in a tower under construction at the Trump Taj Mahal; -An IMAX theater at the Tropicana Casino and […]
GAMBLOR: Shamed Slot Shack Changes Mind, Decides To Play By The Rules And Payout $102,000 To Winner
After days of unwelcome national media attention, PhiladelphiaPark Casino Saturday night paid the disputed $102,000 that a Feasterville slots player said he had coming to him. But Stephen Wilkinson, 56, a retired carpenter, said the jackpot was in his hand for “about two minutes.” His wife of 25 years, Nancy, grabbed the check for safekeeping. “We haven’t decided what we’re going to do with it,” he said. Wilkinson, a regular but small-time bettor, said that his son Sean, 23, had asked for help in paying off his 2002 Dodge Ram truck but that the family would take its time in […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: Prairie Companion Comes Home
The Philly crowd also got the rare treat of seeing Terry Gross sing, having been cast as a punk singer-songwriter in one sketch. [Garrison] Keillor had confided in the podcast interview that he was looking forward to putting her on the spot like that. She sounded fine, though, and it’s clear Keillor remains conscious of his outsized responsibility as the host, producer, lead writer and general icon of a show heard weekly by 4 million people. […] As readers of [Keillor’s] book “Homegrown Democrat” know, it’s not as if the man lacks a fire in the belly about the state […]
EXCLUSIVE: Inky Re-Hires Laid-Off Sports Columnist
Phawker has learned that Inquirer sports columnist David Aldridge, one of the people axed from the paper’s roster in two rounds of layoffs earlier this month, is now BACK on the job. He will resume his columnist duties for the next Villanova game. Aldridge, who is African American, was NOT one of the signers of a letter sent to the Inquirer ownership from the National Association of Black Journalists pointing out that a disproportionate percentage of the employees laid off were minorities. Owner Brian Tierney responded through spokesman Jay Devine that the company’s hands were tied by the seniority provision […]
PALACE COUP: UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION center SUSPENDED FOR DURATION OF ROYAL VISIT
PLEASE BE ADVISED: The National Constitution Center will be closed to the public until 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, January 27 for a special visit of Their Royal Highnesses, The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall. The Center will be open to the public from 2:00 to 6:00 p.m. Thank you! Ashley Berke Public Relations Coordinator National Constitution Center
Way Back When, Before There Was A Native Rodent Population, Rats Had To Be Shipped In Fresh Every Day
[Photo Courtesy of PhillyHistory.org] The City of Philadelphia’s photo archive contains over 2 million images that date back as far as the late 1800s, i.e. the last time a Republican won in this town. In all seriousness, this is an INCREDIBLE visual record of the city’s evolution and a relatively new web site, PhillyHistory.org, is making it available for online consumption and purchase. To date, some 22,000 images have been digitally scanned, at a rate of roughly 2,000 images a month. So, if you’ve been wondering why the line at Kinko’s is so goddamned SLOW, well, now you know. Phawker […]
THE DEVIL IN DELCO: Threesome Busted For Child Rapes & One Million Images Of Homemade Kiddie Porn
U.S. Attorney Patrick L. Meehan said it was the “most horrific case” of child exploitation he had seen. Along with the million photographs, Worman’s computers contained “thousands” of videos that Worman produced of himself committing sexual acts on the children, Meehan said. “The level of depravity in this case is so destructive to those children who have been victimized,” Delaware County District Attorney G. Michael Green said. Meehan said authorities had been able to identify 12 victims. He said he was not sure they would be able to identify all the children Worman allegedly victimized. The victims “lived lives of […]
ROYAL TREATMENT: Chuck & Camilla In Town For 24 Hours Of Brotherly Love-Making & Mural Watching
Later in the afternoon, the couple will travel a few miles to West Philadelphia to meet with college students and to see at least one of the city’s 2,700 murals. The Mural Arts Program is one of the largest public art initiatives in the country.[…] Also in West Philadelphia, the couple will stop at International House, a nonprofit organization housing nearly 400 students, scholars and interns from more than 65 countries. The prince will hear a student panel discussion of urban regeneration in their respective homelands.[…] On Saturday night, the couple will attend a white-tie event at the Academy of […]
THE DECIDER: The Surge Will Work Because I Told It To Work And That’s How Things Work Around Here
FROM AMERICABLOG: In an interview, [Speaker Of The House Nancy] Pelosi also said she was puzzled by what she considered the president’s minimalist explanation for his confidence in the new surge of 21,500 U.S. troops that he has presented as the crux of a new “way forward” for U.S. forces in Iraq. “He’s tried this two times — it’s failed twice,” the California Democrat said. “I asked him at the White House, ‘Mr. President, why do you think this time it’s going to work?’ And he said, ‘Because I told them it had to.’ Asked if the president had elaborated, […]