BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: Piggie Of The Week
This week A.P. shames the predatory Pennsyltucky capitalists that own and operate private prisons and paid judges kickbacks for sentencing children who had committed minor crimes at best to jail time in their facilities.
PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
THE EARLY WORD: The Price Of Free Speech
[Illustration by ALEX FINE] Journalist Maziar Bahari and Dr. Hamid Dabashi, Professor of Iranian Studies at Columbia University, join the National Constitution Center for a conversation on the future of free press and free speech in Iran on Thursday, March 4, 2010 at 6:30pm at the National Constitution Center. Bahari was held in solitary confinement following Iran’s disputed elections in June 2009 for allegedly playing a role in a Western media effort to instigate unrest. He was released in October 2009, and is currently an international correspondent for Newsweek. The program is taking place in conjunction with the One Book, […]
HEROES: Sean Penn Pulls Haitian Orphan From Rubble; Britney Donates Dress To Haiti
TMZ: Penn — who runs the Jenkins-Penn Haitian Relief Organization — drove an hour- and-a-half with his daughter Dylan to rescue a woman and child who were trapped in rubble outside Port-au-Prince, possibly from an aftershock. An eyewitness tells TMZ Penn helped extricate the woman, who suffered leg injuries, and the child, who suffered head injuries. Penn drove them in his truck to the University of Miami hospital camp in Port-au-Prince. MORE RELATED: She’s no George Clooney, but Britney Spears is doing her part for the Haitian relief effort — she’s donating a dress she wore at the 2008 MTV […]
PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: Webcamgate!
AP Ticker takes on Lower Merion school district’s Webcamgate, disgraced bronze medal snowboarder Scotty Lagos, and answers once and for all the age old question: Is curling gay? Also, he dispels the rumor that he is in fact Epic Beard Man.
EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES: Michael Smerconish Quits The GOP, Says It’s Become A ‘Party Of Exclusion’
[Photo by CHRIS CHRISMAN] MICHAEL SMERCONISH: The national GOP is a party of exclusion and litmus tests, dominated on social issues by the religious right, with zero discernible outreach by the national party to anyone who doesn’t fit neatly within its parameters.Which is not to say I feel comfortable in the Democratic Party, either. Where political parties once existed to create coalitions and win elections, now they seek to advance strict ideological agendas. Collegiality is nonexistent today, and any outreach across an aisle is castigated as weakness by the talking heads who constantly stir a pot of discontent. So vicious […]
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: Murtha, Murtha, Murtha!
AP Ticker delivers a stinging eulogy for recently departed PA congressman John Murtha, plus he reveals his Olympic man-crush on Bob Costas.
PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
SCRAPPLE TV NEWS: Snowpocalypse, Now!
With your host AP Ticker.
WING BOWL: It’s Like Jersey Shore On Ice
BY FELICIA PERRETTI They call him Kid Knish. I call him dad. On January 28th 2000, he was a wing-eating competitor in Wing Bowl VIII. He was always the outgoing, fun one in the family and this event was just another chapter in his otherwise ordinary surburban dad life in Roslyn. My dad was never the strict parent; he always knew how to have a good time. The first time he went to the Wing Bowl, he was just a spectator. This would be 1999, and back then it was at the Spectrum and it was free to […]