SPORTO: Auto-Tuning Fox’s Eagles Telecast

BY MIKE WOLVERTON SPORTS GUY You saw the Eagles game yesterday, but did you hear it? Maybe you were at the bar and missed out on the “insight” from the FOX broadcast. Or maybe you heard but couldn’t believe your ears. I’m here to fill you in on what you missed. On the call for FOX is the “C” team of Dick Stockton and Charles Davis (making the move to the NFL after working the BCS Championship Game for FOX). Chances somebody goes for a dog-fighting joke somewhere during this broadcast: 15%. 1st quarter: New boy Davis doesn’t say a […]

SEPTA GIRL: Studying A Broad

BY PHILLYGRRL I’m sorry, but smooth-talking subway Philly boys ain’t got nothing on the international student. I’ve come to this conclusion based on the inordinate amount of time I spend every week at the Cecil B. Moore stop by Temple University. And now exclusively for Phawker readers, the results of my extensive research. (I’d show you my graphs, but I’m saving them for the white paper.) The thing Philly guys get wrong is, they think they have to pretend to know everything to get girls to talk to them. They affect this worldly air that might work in a smaller […]

FRINGE REVIEW: Hard Times At Camera Blanca

BY LINDSAY HARRIS-FRIEL Step into the cozy, welcoming Murph’s Bar at 202 East Girard. You’ll find it’s been commandeered by Applied Mechanics, a theater company that “creates original performance experiments in the environmental-installation-parallel-narrative style.” Sounds lofty? Get a drink and slide into a seat, or find a good corner. The characters are everywhere and their conversations are contagious. The circus has burnt down, the big cats have been sold for food, and all that’s left are the performers, drinking, reminiscing, planning their futures or burying their dreams. Following a character will give you more information, but staking out a space […]

FRINGE REVIEW: Fatebook

BY LINDSAY HARRIS-FRIEL FRINGE CORRESPONDENT FATEBOOK: Avoiding Catastrophe One Party at a Time is a party and a show and a maze and a puzzle. Be prepared to walk. New Paradise Laboratories has created a show that forces you to negotiate plot as you negotiate space. As you travel the maze of projection screens, you follow different characters in an attempt to solve a murder mystery. Or maybe you’re witnessing a theft, participating in a drug deal, or a story of ideal romantic love. You’ll notice yourself multi-tasking and processing text and images as one, listening for sounds you hadn’t […]

Q&A: With Acclaimed Monologist Mike Daisey

“If Lenny Bruce was embodied by Zero Mostel and played by Louis Armstrong the result would closely resemble Mike Daisey.” — BROADWAY WORLD Mike Daisey has been called “the master storyteller” and “one of the finest solo performers of his generation” by the New York Times for his groundbreaking monologues which weave together autobiography, gonzo journalism, and unscripted performance to tell hilarious and heartbreaking stories that cut to the bone, exposing secret histories and unexpected connections. His monologues, fourteen and counting, include the controversial How Theater Failed America (which he performed last weekend at the Live Arts-Fringe Festival), the six-hour […]

STRANGER THAN FICTION: Fork Fight At Melrose

SOUTH PHILLY REVIEW: The victim who suffered a forking received a large scrape to his back, while the another victim sustained contusions and cuts to his head. Neither required hospital treatment and police said they do not know what ignited the brawl. The victims, a 24- and 25-year-old, were having a meal inside the establishment at 1501 Snyder Ave. when they became involved in a physical altercation with a group of about four other men at another table. According to investigators, Baldino was spotted striking the younger victim in the head with a metal napkin dispenser, while Emma was seen […]

TONIGHT: Life Is But A Dream

Life is a Dream Aleksandra Berczynski PII Gallery is happy to host Aleksandra Berczynski again for Philly Fringe after a successful debut show last year. Inspired by the 17th Century Spanish playwright Calderón’s play, La Vida es Sueño, Berczynski presents a minimalist, 20-minute, one-woman show where she explores the world of philosophy and learns that beauty, reality and dreams dissolve together in disturbing ways. Will she discover her life is just a dream? PII Gallery 242 Race St $10 / 20 Minutes Sept 9, 11, 18 at 7pm Sept 12 at 5pm Sept 13 at 6pm  

FRINGE REVIEW: How Theater Failed America

BY LINDSAY HARRIS-FRIEL Mike Daisey may be one of the great thinkers of our generation. He speaks truth to power, sometimes roaring, sometimes whispering, always entertaining. I can only add to the praise that’s already been heaped upon his shoulders. He’s saying what we already know, but are afraid to say publicly. In his show How Theater Failed America, he’s pointing out not so much that theater has failed America, but that America is failing theater. What makes this magical is not what he says, but how. Daisey’s relentless, nearly two-hour monologue holds two interwoven stories. One, with the stage […]

PHAWKER TAWK: Dishing Dirty With Perez Hilton

Perez Hilton Presents: Ladyhawke, Ida Maria, Semi Precious Weapons, Frankmusik Sunday September 13th at The TLA BY AMY Z. QUINN The scariest guy on the Internet plops down next to me on a banquette. He’s sporting a head of pink hair, a dark T-shirt-and-jacket combo, skinny jeans and moon boots — an ensemble that probably nobody else could pull off. He looks tired. I probably don’t have to ask, but I do anyway: “So is it Mario, or Perez?” “Tonight, it’s definitely Perez,” he says, softly. By now anyone with an Internet connection and a celebrity jones knows the backstory: […]

PAPERBOY: Slow-Jamming The Alt-Weeklies

BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]

THIS JUST IN: David Sedaris At The Keswick

New York Times best-selling author/speaker DAVID SEDARIS returns for an evening of readings from his own works as well as selections from authors he’s currently championing at the Keswick Theatre, Sun., Oct. 4 @ 7 PM. Known for his sardonic wit and incisive social critiques, DAVID SEDARIS has become one of America’s pre-eminent humor writers. He is the author of Barrel Fever and Holidays on Ice as well as collections of personal essays including Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and When You Are Engulfed in Flames, each of which became best-sellers. His […]

THE INDOORFINS: Gross Clinic Bounce

Created for the Penn Reading Project 2009. FYI, The Indoorfins hail from Lima, Ohio. RELATED: There Ain’t No Starving Artists In The Afterlife: JEFF SELLS EAKINS PAINTING TO WAL-MART FOR $68 MILLION CLAMS; Natives Grow Restless And Unimpressed, Say Deal Shoulda Been Done With Legal Tender, Not Shellfish RELATED: Twinkle-Toed Footloose Dude Challenges Eakins Buyers To A Dance-Off, ‘For Pink Slips, Bitches!’ RELATED: EAKINS STAYS HOME! HOORAY! OUR RICH PEOPLE ARE RICHER THAN THEIR RICH PEOPLE! HOORAY! RELATED: NOW PLAYING: “Gross Clinic” At The Philadelphia Museum Of Art RELATED:  PAFA Sells THE CELLO PLAYER To Buy THE GROSS CLINIC; Buyer […]