Dear Mayor Nutter: It was a pleasure bumping into you on [date redacted] at [my employer’s event, redacted]. I spoke to you briefly as you made your way through the room, and asked you how much it costs to keep a single pool open. You replied that the cost is about $50,000.00: that’s a grand total of $3.1 million dollars for the 62 pools slated to be closed. I explained that I am a grant writer, and that I would do some work with regard to funding. My preliminary research proved disappointing on one hand, and quite fruitful on the […]
Judge Dismisses Cop Beatdown On Graffiti Artist
INQUIRER: A Philadelphia municipal court judge dismissed charges today against two former police officers who were accused of assaulting a graffiti artist. David Vernitsky, 36, lost three teeth and suffered a broken jaw that had to be wired shut for five weeks. Judge Francis Cosgrove issued his decision without comment. At 12:30 a.m. on Aug. 26, 2007, Officers Sheldon Fitzgerald and Howard Hill III saw Vernitsky spray-painting graffiti on a wall near Fourth Street and Wyoming Avenue in Feltonville. When Vernitsky fled, the officers caught him, beat him, and threw him head-first into their patrol car, District Attorney Lynne Abraham […]
PAPERBOY: ‘Infamous Cookie Crumb Duster’ Edition
BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer […]
BIN WORRIED: Al Qaeda Calls Obama ‘House Negro’
NEW YORK TIMES: In a propaganda salvo by Al Qaeda aimed at undercutting the enthusiasm of Muslims worldwide about the American election, Osama bin Laden’s top deputy condemned President-elect Barack Obama as a “house Negro” who would continue a campaign against Islam that Al Qaeda’s leaders said was begun by President Bush. Appealing to the “weak and oppressed” around the world, the Qaeda deputy, Ayman al-Zawahri, said in a video released Wednesday that the “new face” of America only masked a “heart full of hate.” For years, the terrorist network sought to fuel anti-Americanism with prolific audio and video recordings […]
GAYDAR: How I Became The Alabama Slammer
BY AARON STELLA Welcome back ya’ll to another bold and beautiful edition GAYDAR! OK, down to business. Last time I told you how my family settled into our Alabama homestead. Now, I was never one for the bucolic pleasantries of rural living. Luckily, I would reside in Birmingham at the Alabama School of Fine Arts (ASFA, which suspiciously sounds like “ass fuck” — appropriately so, as you shall soon see). As I mentioned in the last edition, I had been accepted into ASFA. I applied as a vocalist and a pianist, but because I lack adequate sight-reading skills, they accepted […]
HEAR YE: Still Playing On Phawker Radio!
All this cool shit, STILL playing on Phawker Radio! Why, because we love you!
NO ONE MUST KNOW: Top 25 Censored News Stories
#1. Over One Million Iraqi Deaths Caused by US Occupation Over one million Iraqis have met violent deaths as a result of the 2003 invasion, according to a study conducted by the prestigious British polling group, Opinion Research Business (ORB). These numbers suggest that the invasion and occupation of Iraq rivals the mass killings of the last century—the human toll exceeds the 800,000 to 900,000 believed killed in the Rwandan genocide in 1994, and is approaching the number (1.7 million) who died in Cambodia’s infamous “Killing Fields” during the Khmer Rouge era of the 1970s. Authors Joshua Holland and Michael […]
NPR FOR THE DEAF: We Hear It Even When You Can’t
FRESH AIR The name of former anti-war activist William Ayers was brought up twice in an attempt to discredit Barack Obama during the recent presidential campaign — first by Hillary Clinton, and then by the McCain campaign. Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin accused Obama — who served on two nonprofit boards with Ayers — of “palling around with terrorists.” The accusations stemmed from Ayers’ involvement with the Weather Underground, a radical group responsible for bombings on the New York City Police Department headquarters in 1970, the U.S. Capitol building in 1971 and the Pentagon in 1972. The federal case […]
BEYOND THE BEYONCE: I Am Sasha Fierce
[Illustration by BENJAMIN MARRA] DAN DELUCA: The first part, I Am, whose leadoff single is the mildly gender-bending “If I Were a Boy,” represents the multitalented Ms. Knowles – she declines to use her last name when in music mode – as she is “underneath all the makeup, underneath the lights, and underneath all the exciting star drama.” The second part, Sasha Fierce, is named after the alter ego of Beyoncé, who stars as Etta James, alongside Adrien Brody and Jeffrey Wright, in Cadillac Records, Hollywood’s version of the Chess Records story, which opens Dec. 5. The two-sides-of-Beyoncé idea is, […]
THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS: Whatever Happens In Room 315, Stays In Room 315, Part 2
BLACKBOARD JUNGLE: At Least They Spelled It Right BY JEFF DEENEY You might be asking yourself, if Room 315 is designated as an educational no-man’s-land for the worst behaved kids in one of the city’s worst public high schools, where are the true hard cases? Where are the 15 year old stone killers that you saw holding corners down like trained infantry occupying a battleground hilltop on The Wire? The fact is that come high school many of those kids are already gone. They’ve gone to juvenile detention facilities and privatized discipline schools. Some were so incorrigibly truant and their […]
MAYOR NUTTER: This Won’t Hurt A Bit
INQUIRER: After 11 days of mounting outcry over its budget cuts, the Nutter administration yesterday tried to assuage critics with more detailed explanations for its decisions to target 11 libraries, seven fire companies, and 68 pools for closing. For libraries, the administration released statistics on usage and location, arguing that the 11 chosen were among the less heavily used and the nearest to other facilities. For the fire companies, the administration released a variety of measurements, including number and variety of calls each handled and length of response time. It was the most comprehensive offering yet of the data behind […]
NEW BEATLES: Macca To Release ‘Carnival Of Light’
THE GUARDIAN: For Beatles fans across the world it has gained near mythical status. The 14-minute improvised track called ‘Carnival of Light’ was recorded in 1967 and played just once in public. It was never released because three of the Fab Four thought it too adventurous. The track, a jumble of shrieks and psychedelic effects, is said to be as far from the melodic ballads that made Sir Paul McCartney famous as it is possible to imagine. But now McCartney has said that the public will have the chance to judge for themselves. ‘It does exist,’ McCartney says on a […]