The other almost-supernatural aspect of Hilton’s reign of harebrained horror is the way that she herself remains intact while those around her wither. Hilton is like some kind of Dorian Gray cockroach. While her buddies waste away and collapse and see their careers flushed down the celebrity toilet after having been in her presence, she grows stronger: appearing on more magazine covers, getting bigger record contracts, attracting more attention, sleeping with more of her fading friends’ boyfriends. Even her Plasticine exterior seems unravaged by her excessive behaviors. She is, frustratingly, indestructible. Hilton has been caught on tape referring to two […]
Twinkle-Toed Footloose Dude Challenges Eakins Buyers To A Dance-Off, ‘For Pink Slips, Bitches!’
PHILADELPHIA – Kevin Bacon has joined a group fighting to keep Thomas Eakins’ 1875 masterpiece, “The Gross Clinic,” in its hometown. The Committee to Keep Eakins’ Masterpiece in Philadelphia will work to raise awareness about the social and artistic importance of the work, which was painted in Philadelphia and hangs in Thomas Jefferson University Hospital. Bacon, 48, is a Philadelphia native. He has starred in films including “Mystic River,” “Apollo 13” and “Footloose.” “This masterpiece and this artist are so intertwined and connected to this city that it should and must remain where it was created,” Bacon said in a […]
FLU WATCH: City Officials Slow To Respond To Gathering Threat Nothing New, Day-Late-Dollar-Short Response To Endangered Citizenry Stretches Back To At Least 1918
ATLANTA Dec 11, 2006 (AP) — Government health officials tried to build their case for school closings and similar steps during a flu pandemic by showcasing new research Monday that suggests such measures seemed to work during the deadly Spanish flu of 1918. Researchers found that cities like St. Louis, which instituted “social distancing” at least two weeks before flu cases peaked in their communities, had flu-related death rates less than half that of Philadelphia, which didn’t act until later. The whirlwind historical research project which started in August involves a team of researchers from the University of Michigan and the […]
SPORTZ: The ANSWER Raising Lotsa QUESTIONS, Internets Buzzing With Fan-Tastic Exit Strategies
Celtics — Jeff Clark from CelticsBlog.com: Offer Wally, Telfair, and West for Iverson. I know it is a low ball offer, but the salaries work and you have to start somewhere. When they reject that offer, sweeten it with a lottery protected draft pick. They might find that they can’t do better than that deal and just pull the trigger. Bulls — Stephen A. Smith from Philadelphia Inquirer: Chicago could send the expiring contracts of forwards P.J. Brown and Michael Sweetney, with guard Ben Gordon and a first-round pick to Philly for Iverson. Their brass will meet today but appear […]
We Know It’s Only Rock N’ Roll But We Like It
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT: They Might Be Giants, World Cafe Live, December 9, 2006 MA PHAWKER REPORTS: For a minute there toward the end, during “Birdhouse in Your Soul,” when the shorties were tired out and the gin and tonics were kickin’ in, it almost felt like we grownups had gotten one over on the kids we had squired to the show.See, one of the many chapters missing from the parenting books is the one discussing the wretched entertainment you’re doomed to sit through — the animated movies that don’t make any sense, the cheesy kid-friendly musicians, the unconvincing birthday […]
The Question Isn’t ‘Why Did This Happen?’ But ‘Why Doesn’t This Happen ALL THE TIME?’ And Therein Lies The Silver Lining
At Cherry Hill High School East – where news got out last week that five students may have paid a hacker to doctor their computerized grade transcripts – classmates say the burden to excel at a fast-track school may have led to the cheating scandal. According to a new study, that’s a reasonable theory. More than 40 percent of teens feel intense pressure to succeed academically at any cost, according to a national teen ethics poll released last week by Junior Achievement and Deloitte & Touche USA LLP, a financial advisory firm. And 22 percent of the 787 students surveyed […]
GAMBLOR: Sunlight Still The Best Disinfectant And TOTALLY Worth Going To Jail For
Anti-casino rally in Harrisburg; 14 arrested Fourteen anti-casino protestors were arrested today at the Gaming Control Board offices in Harrisburg when they demanded to see documents about proposed casinos that they say are being withheld from the public. The group was among 50 demonstrators who travelled in two buses from Philadelphia in a bid to delay the scheduled announcement of two casino sites in the city on Dec. 20. The protestors rallied in a park outside the Statehouse before marching to the Gaming Control Offices in a building located across the street. Those arrested included two women in wheelchairs. Police […]
DEATH OF A SALESPERSON: My Final Daze Inside The Leaning TOWER Of Song
SARA SHERR REPORTS: We got the news on that fateful Friday, but that was only the half of it. Most of us went home thinking we were going to be working for mall record store behemoth Trans World Entertainment, and inexplicably, one of the last music retailers standing. Would we still have a good selection? Would we have to wear those dreadful polos? About an hour or two later, the Internet would reveal that Trans World would lose the auction by $500,000 to liquidator Great American, and we’d be out of work sometime in December. Ironically, the latest news is […]
Crazy Painterman From Sesame Street Seen Lurking At McCarter
The Mad Painter was the title character in a series of live-action films on Sesame Street. Produced for the program’s third season, the film inserts used comedic slapstick to teach number recognition, emphasizing the symbolic representation of the numeral, and how it is drawn, in contrast to The Baker Films, which stressed counting and quantity. The painter character is an eccentric whose hobby is painting numbers (between 2 and 11) in various public and private places. Armed with a set of number stencils, he would begin each skit by announcing the number he intended to paint, but often missed his targets. […]
GAYBO: Grammys Go Gay; Korporate Karaoke; Threesome Of The Week
TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: The 49th Annual Grammy Awards nominations were announced late last week; time to peruse the list for standout Extra Gay Choices! Let’s start with Miss Mary J. Blige. Ramon calls her the dark-skinned Judy Garland who got off the junk and pulled herself together before the shit killed her. Nominated for eight Grammys, this girl definitely ranks high with queens through every note of pain that comes from her mouth. All the pain she must have inside her shines right through in her singing. Yeah, that’s what I meant. The Dixie Chicks? Start with the name. Sounds […]
ROGUE TRADERS: Voodoo Child
Elvis Costello never sounded quite like THIS. [Hat tip to Tommy Zane]