BY MIKE WOLVERTON SPORTS GUY BOR-RING. Most years at this time the NFL reminds us why it is the only sports league where the regular season is more exciting than the playoffs. The regular season has fantasy football, survivor pools and up to sixteen games per week. Sure there are bad games every week, but with 8 or 9 early games and 4-5 late games, there is plenty to hold your interest throughout regular season Sundays. In the playoffs, we are held captive by one-game-at-a-time. And when the top teams (Colts, Saints, Vikings) are so much better than their opponents, you get an ultra-hyped weekend of dragging boredom. In the first game of the weekend, the underdog Cardinals scored a touchdown on their first play of the game. From that point, for the next FOURTEEN quarters, visiting underdogs managed a total of THIRTEEN points (less than a point per quarter!). The Ravens and Cowboys, who combined for 67 points in authoring their own blowouts last week, put up three points each. Even the Jets-Chargers game, the one “good” game this weekend, wasn’t that entertaining. More like watching Riccochet Rabbit shoot himself in the foot while Deputy Dog plods over the finish line. So over two weekends and eight games, we’ve been treated to one classic (Packers-Cardinals), one moderately interesting upset (Jets-Chargers) and sixsnoozers. Give me the regular season every time. At least the Eagles are sure to be involved.
Weekend Lowlight: Nate Kaeding. This douchebag (San Diego’s kicker) missed three field goals in 35 regular season attempts. Sunday he was 0-for-3. He’d made an amazing 69 straight from forty yards or closer; Sunday he missed from 40 and 36. The Chargers lost by three points.Kaeding is the most accurate regular season kicker in NFL history (minimum 100 attempts), but is now three out of nine in playoff games, including a 40-yarder to win a game in 2005 (the Chargers eventually lost that game to…the Jets). There is only one conclusion: Kaeding cannot kick under pressure. I don’t care how good he is while getting the Chargers to the playoffs. If he can’t help them in the playoffs than he can’t help them. San Diego, time to get rid.
Weekend Highlight: The Vikings faced 4th-and-3 at the Dallas 11 with two minutes left in the game, leading the Cowboys 27-3. Did they kick a field goal? Run straight ahead trying for a first down? Take a knee? No, BrettFavre went back to pass and hit Visanthe Shiancoe for a rub-it-in touchdown. Classy? Hell no. Awesome? Hell yes. Fuck you, Dallas.