BY WILLIAM C. HENRY So, the phony, gutless, misogynist Congressional Republicans want to defund Planned Parenthood. Well, isn’t that just swell. The bottom feeders haven’t the cojones — let alone the common decency — to take on a monstrously bloated, unconscionably inept, disgustingly wastrel Pentagon, but yet they can somehow muster the cowardice to shove critically important family planning services, life-saving cervical and breast cancer screenings, vital Pap and HPV testing, as well as a host of other extremely worthwhile women’s reproductive health and family planning educational services up the crotch of America’s opposite sex. Congratulations, you cretinous, pandering counterfeits. You can now run home to your faith-affecting base and tell them about the Christian-like opportunity you’ve preserved for all of those lovesick, yearning-to-become-one, little gametes in giving them an equal shot 
at avoiding America’s hallowed “Top Ten” 53% divorce rate! What’s that, folks? The phony, gutless, misogynist Republicans didn’t tell you about the true and primary purpose and mission of Planned Parenthood? Well, as one of the Republican party’s more morally abstaining Presidents used to say (in an ever so slightly plagiarized and re-directed form), “There they should go again, straight to hell.”
Imagine, we live in a nation whose elected Republican representatives would prefer to harshly imprison women and/or send them back to back-alley abortionists — or to Walmart for metal clothes hangers — than allow them dominion over their own bodies! Why is it always MEN telling women what they can and can’t do with their own personhood?! How in God’s name is what’s going on INSIDE a woman’s body the business of men who don’t know, have never met, will never meet, or will never ever even set eyes upon, the woman in question?! Where do they find the gall?! Where do they come up with the RIGHT to insert themselves so thoroughly into the MOST personal and private aspects of a woman’s being?! Where the hell do they get the hubris, the arrogance, the audacity?! The answer, of course, “lies” in their implacable desire to obtain and exert power, pure and simple. It’s a domination thing. It’s been 
going on ever since the first of these male Neanderthals discovered to his infinite dismay that he was considerably less intelligent than his mate, but felt he could at least save a semblance of face by physically dominating her. And, as we now know with absolute certainty, far worse was yet to come.
As of this writing, dedicated Republican Congressional war-on-women misogynists have let it be known without equivocation that they will close the government down if they are denied the opportunity to defund any and all vital women’s health and family planning assistance (aka, Planned Parenthood) to the poorest, most disadvantaged members of the female population! No more early termination of pregnancies — they know damn well that the nation would never stand for imprisonment of the pregnant themselves, so they’re instead insisting that the women’s health care providers be locked up or forced to abandon their practices; no more family planning services or women’s health and educational programs; no more protection from sexually transmitted diseases and others particularly debilitating or pernicious to women. Tell me something, have you ever, and I mean EVER, heard even ONE of these phony, lying, extorting, hypocritical, panderers calling for ANY form of punishment for the MALE contributors to unwanted pregnancies other than in the disgustingly few prosecuted cases of sexual assault?! Have you ever ONCE heard them call for their castration, sterilization or even stigmatization? In fact, have you ever heard them call for ANY form of penance whatsoever?! Anything?! And please don’t give me any of that faux pious “our-concern-is-as-much-for-
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.