Last night’s Daily Show With Jon Stewart in its entirety after the jump. Enjoy.
LIBERTY MEDAL: Goes To Ex-Commie Stooge Turned Lifter Of Iron Curtain Turned Louis Vuitton Pitchman
WIKIPEDIA: Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev, born March 2, 1931 in Privolnoye, Stavropol Krai), is a Russian politician. He was the last General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union and the last head of state of the USSR, serving from 1985 until its collapse in 1991. Gorbachev’s attempts at reform — perestroika and glasnost — as well as summit conferences with United States President Ronald Reagan, contributed to the end of the Cold War, and also ended the political supremacy of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (CPSU) and led to the dissolution of the Soviet Union. He was awarded […]
THE ZOMBIES: Summertime
Directed by SCOTT COLAN.
He Was Against It Before He Was For It & Vice Versa
CARPETBAGGER REPORT: Confronted with the inconsistencies in McCain’s record in March, the senator’s aides told the New York Times that the senator “has evolved rather than switched positions in his 25-year career.” That’s a perfectly sensible spin — when a politician holds one position, and then, for apparently political reasons, decides to embrace the polar opposite position, it’s only natural for his or her aides to say the politician’s position has “evolved.” But in McCain’s case, the spin is wholly unfulfilling. First, McCain sells himself as a pol who never sways with the wind, and whose willingness to be consistent […]
LAST SPLASH: No More Teachers, No More Books
DAILY NEWS: Girls from Center City’s Hallahan High School celebrated the last day of school in the traditional way today, with a dip in Swann Fountain at Logan Circle. Rising sophomores, juniors and seniors are the ones that take the splash. The tradition is believed to be at least 50 years old, and it’s a durable one – in 2001, when a drought led the city’s fountains to shut down, the Hallahan girls arranged for the Philadelphia Fire Department to shower them from a fire hose. MORE [Photo by ALEJANDRO A. ALVAREZ / PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS]
BLISTER IN THE SUN: Heat Wave Kills 15 Over 4 Days
INQUIRER: The recent heat wave was blamed for seven more deaths in the city yesterday, bringing to 15 the number of people to succumb during the four days of 90-plus temperatures. All but one — a 53-year-old man who died of heatstroke outdoors — were found in overheated houses, some sealed tight. The toll far surpassed the three heat-related deaths recorded last year. There were seven heat deaths in 2003, two in 2004, 23 in 2005, and 27 in 2006, officials said. MORE
EARLY WORD: Take The Skinhead Bowling
Details are few, as per the Secret Service’s wishes, but Senator Obama will be town Friday for a private fundraiser at an undisclosed location. On Saturday he will be holding a Townhall meeting “in the Philadelphia area,” we’re guessing the suburbs where he still has is work cut out for him. Wondering if or when Obama and Clintonista Nutter make nice and go bowling. These two are like the hot girls who went to the prom with the wrong dates (Obama/Chaka Fatah & the resulting Nutter/Clinton mismatch). Here’s to no more tears on Prom Night. More details as they come […]
DAILY DOSE: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Hmm. Are we the only one’s that find it curious the Air Force would spend its recruiting ad dollars on The Daily Show? Last night’s complete Colbert Report after the jump.
CINEMA: The Credible Hulk
VARIETY: To anyone wondering why the Marvel team would so soon embark on a makeover of the growly green giant after all the angst endured on the previous one, the answer is provided by the final scene, in which the star of the most recent Marvel B.O. smash unexpectedly turns up to ask, “What if I told you we were getting a team together?” New film thus marks the first step in the label’s plan to begin shuffling its major characters into films together, a la some of the comicbooks — a scheme that seemingly required the rehabilitation of the […]
Judge Overseeing Bestiality Obscenity Case Busted For Raunchy Barnyard Sex Images Posted To His Web Site
ASSOCIATED PRESS: Alex Kozinski is more accustomed to appearing on lists to fill U.S. Supreme Court vacancies than headlines involving pornographic scandals. But on Wednesday, the chief judge of the country’s largest federal appeals court was forced to suspend an obscenity trial he was presiding over after sexually explicit images posted to his his family’s Web site became public. The Los Angeles Times reported that Kozinski had posted sexual material on his personal Web site and then blocked access after being interviewed about it Tuesday evening. Kozinski, 57, told the Times he thought the material on his site, which included […]
MEDIA COP: Fox Calls Michelle “Obama’s Baby Mama”
SALON: An alert reader wrote in just a little while ago to let us know about something he’d spotted on Fox News Wednesday afternoon. During a segment discussing conservative attacks against Michelle Obama, the wife of presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama, the network described the former as “Obama’s baby mama.” I checked, and sure enough, as you can see below, our e-mailer was right. In fact, that description was displayed on-screen several times during the segment, which featured anchor Megyn Kelly and conservative blogger Michelle Malkin, an FNC contributor. MORE PREVIOUSLY: Michelle Malkin Is A Cunt With Teeth PREVIOUSLY: Fox’s […]
ZOOEY STARDUST: Talking Mutter With Letterman
CARRIE RICKEY: As for The Happening, [M. Knight Shayamalan‘s] throwback horror flick that plays like The Birds meets The Blob, it’s beyond good and evil. It’s dumbfounding. At the hollow center of this unapologetic B-movie is Mark Wahlberg, typically the low-key everyman, in overwrought-robot mode. He portrays Elliot Moore, a Philadelphia science teacher (at Masterman High, for you homeboys and girls), called out of class one sunny morning and warned of a random plague — an airborne chemical toxin? — sweeping Manhattan, triggering suicides. From Massachusetts to Maryland, Central Park to Rittenhouse Square, urban greens are particularly perilous. As a […]
BREAKING: Supremes Smackdown Gitmo Tribunals
ASSOCIATED PRESS: The Supreme Court [NOT pictured, above] ruled Thursday that foreign terrorism suspects held at Guantanamo Bay have rights under the Constitution to challenge their detention in U.S. civilian courts. In its third rebuke of the Bush administration’s treatment of prisoners, the court ruled 5-4 that the government is violating the rights of prisoners being held indefinitely and without charges at the U.S. naval base in Cuba. The court’s liberal justices were in the majority. Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing for the court, said, ”The laws and Constitution are designed to survive, and remain in force, in extraordinary times.” MORE […]