BY JEFF DEENEY A lot of blogs lead an entry off by saying “we do/watch/listen to X, so you don’t have to.” In this equation, X is usually a shitty band’s new record or something. Big whoop, so you watched TV for me. What have you done for me lately? Tell you what I did: I read the city’s 100-page Department of Human Services planning and budget document released by the City of Philadelphia — so you don’t have to. Why? Because nobody’s going to read one end to end unless they’re earning comp time, and the fact is, that’s […]
PAPERBOY: Even Hot, Wet Surferboys Need Insurance
BY AMY Z. QUINN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right — these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. Hey, we know how it is — so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up […]
GREAT MOMENTS IN BLOGGING HISTORY: How I Became A Cancer Patient Hater
Don’t know if you saw this, but I just wanted to set the record straight. It just so happens that during my brief tenure at Philebrity, I made use of a secret taping system — the specifics aren’t important, but here is a transcript of the conversation that fateful day: June 21st, 2006, Phileb Headquarters, Northern Liberties 9:24 a.m. Sweeney: [coughs] Damn, this is good shit! Valania: No thank you. Only dopes use dope. Sweeney: So what do ya got? Valania: I think we should make fun of Steven Wells’ cancer. Sweeney: My God, man! That’s unconscionable! People won’t stand […]
MEDIA: How The MSM Is Killing Americans
BY JONATHAN VALANIA Ok, so the header is a tad inflammatory, but hang on: I can prove this to you. Ahem. So, let’s look at the above screengrab of the front page of KYW’s website. Leader of al Qaeda in Iraq captured? Oh, well, that sounds like good news, right? Wait, it gets better. Beneath that it says “he told interrogators that Osama Bin Laden’s inner circle wields considerable influence over the Iraqi group.” Holy mackerel! That’s exactly what the President has been saying! God bless America! But wait. Oh, snap! It says right here the president has actually been […]
THE EARLY WORD: On Bardo Pond
[Click image to activate Internets]
CONTEST: WE HAVE A WINNER!
Matt Goldfine and his best Plus One is going to see Gogol Bordello tonight at Troc! Unfortunately, while his caption for this photo is undeniably funny, we are fairly sure we would fuck up our karma for eternity if we published it.
HECKUVA JOB, BROWNIE: Tube Maker Finally Fesses Up To 21 Hour Toxic Gas Leak — ONE WEEK LATER!
[Superior Tube Co., in Lower Providence Township] allowed the escape of more than 2,400 pounds of toxic gas into the air over a 2 1/2-hour period — more than 60 times the allowed amount, state officials said yesterday. Previously, Department of Environmental Protection officials had said only that the release of trichloroethylene (TCE) — a probable human carcinogen — was more than 100 pounds. The company released far more of the chemical than allowed, and it violated a requirement to report the problem within two hours, state officials said, waiting instead until 19 hours after the July 10 incident. The company’s […]
KILLADELPHIA: 1 More Dead Since U Went To Bed
One male was killed and two other males were injured in a shooting in South Philadelphia this morning. Officers were called to the 2300 block of Wilder Street after reports of the shooting just after 12:30 a.m. One person was pronounced dead at the scene, police said. One wounded victim was taken to Thomas Jefferson University Hospital; another was transported to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. One of the wounded victims was a bystander who was cleaning his porch, police said. No arrests have been made. Police said the male suspect used a handgun in the shooting. PHILLY.COM: […]
CONTEST: Write A Clever Caption And…
Win Tickets To See Gogol Bordello TONIGHT At The Troc! The City of Philadelphia?s photo archive contains over 2 million images that date back as far as the late 1800s, i.e. the last time a Republican won in this town. In all seriousness, this is an INCREDIBLE visual record of the city?s evolution and a relatively new web site, PhillyHistory.org, is making it available for online consumption and purchase. To date, some 27,000 BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of images have been digitally scanned, at a rate of roughly 2,000 images a month. So, if you?ve been wondering why the line at […]
KILLADELPHIA: The Suburbs Are Killing Me
Authorities have broken up an illegal gun trafficking network where guns were stolen from homes in the Philadelphia suburbs and sold on the streets of Philadelphia and Norristown. Seven people (one from Philadelphia, six from the suburbs) have been charged in connection with more than 40 burglaries in Montgomery, Chester, and Berks counties. Prosecutors say that over the span of about eight months the gang stole cash, jewelry, electronics — and more than 50 handguns and long guns which were then sold on the streets. Several of the guns were confiscated from a house on Franklin Street in Philadelphia, but […]
NPR 4 THE DEF: Giving Public Radio Edge Since 2006
FRESH AIR “There is a madness in Gaza now.” So says New York Times Jerusalem bureau chief Steven Erlanger, who joins Terry Gross to talk about the Palestinian power struggle that’s erupted recently and how the battles between the Hamas and Fatah factions are affecting life in the West Bank and Gaza. Erlanger has reported from all over the world, serving in Moscow, Bangkok, Prague and other cities. Prior to his tenure at the Times, he wrote for The Boston Globe. RADIO TIMES We discuss allegations that the Bush Administration has used the Department of Justice to promote partisan politics […]
BLOGGER: How Michelle Malkin Is Killing America
BY JONATHAN VALANIA The following is sadly indicative of just how desperate the Save The War movement is, and an appalling example of how the blogosphere has become the leading edge of the right wing’s efforts to muddy the war debate with meaningless distractions, fear-mongering, half-truths and outright lies. Allow me to explain. First there was an attempted murder-suicide in Willingboro. The murder didn’t take, thank God, but the suicide did: Air Force Senior Airman Jonathan Schrieken was casually unpacking his car in front of his Willingboro house on the evening of July 4. A moment later, he was fighting […]
VIOLENT FEMMES: Blister In The Sun
Funny, I don’t remember the ’80s looking like this or people dancing this badly. Maybe I was sick that day.