BREAKING: Knox Campaign Office Robbed By Gunmen Wearing Matching KNOX FOR PHILADELPHIA T-Shirts

FISH STORY: The candidate explaining that all of the robbers were “at least this tall, possibly taller.”*

They wore “Tom Knox for Philadelphia” T-shirts.But instead of lending support, they were looking obtain some.

Two men strolled into the Knox campaign office at Frankford and Cottman in the Northeast just before 1 this afternoon, produced a gun and demanded cash.

After getting an undetermined amount, they fled.

No one was tied up or hurt, and the robbers wore no masks, police said.

INQUIRER: You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up — Or Can You?
THE NATION: “In 1986 Karl Rove was working on the second campaign of Bill Clements, a Republican trying to recapture the governor’s office after losing it to Democrat Mark White. Rove made news by going public with a complaint that an electronic bugging device had been found in his office–shortly before a scheduled televised debate between the two candidates. “We were the first on the scene and concluded that Rove had hired a company to debug his office, and that the same company had planted the bug,” says a source involved in the Travis County DA office’s investigation.”

*Some dialogue may have been ‘enhanced’ in the pursuit of satire