ELEPHANT 3: Baltimore Tells Stampy To Bacdafucup

The Philadelphia Zoo’s three African elephants will not move to the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore, which announced today that it has delayed the expansion of its elephant habitat and would not be able to accommodate Petal, Kallie and Bette this spring as planned. Officials at the Philadelphia Zoo, which is closing its elephant exhibit, said they are working with the Association of Zoos and Aquariums to find another home for the animals. Dulary, the Philadelphia Zoo’s Asian elephant, is still scheduled to move to the Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee, most likely in April.

INQUIRER: Alas, The Great Philly-Pachyderm Assimilation Experiment Fails, Elephants Refuse To Play Ball, Still Shit Where They Like And Refuse To Learn English Or Take Bribes