BY TOMMY ZANE Outrageous drag queens? Hideous costumes? Flamboyantly flaming back-up dancers? Dreadful songs sung in foreign languages for a three hour spectacular never to be seen in America? That can only mean one thing: The 52nd Annual Eurovision Song Contest season has arrived! It’s like opera for trashounds. For those of you not familiar, here’s the scoop. Back in a post-WWII 1956, leaders of The European Broadcasting Union created The Eurovision Song Contest to unite a shattered Europe in song. Each country selects a song to represent the entire nation in the competition and the global TV viewing audience tele-votes for the winner — which in previous years has ranged from the sublime (ABBA) to the ridiculous (Celine Dion), and usually somewhere in between. Olivia Newton-John, Cliff Richard and Julio Iglesias all cut their showbiz teeth at Eurovision. Since the fall of The Berlin Wall and resulting collapse of The Soviet Union, Eastern European countries as far away as the former Soviet Republic of Georgia have joined the competition, now at an all-time high of 42 competing countries.This is way cooler than American Idol, bitches! So, without further adieu, here’s the poop on what’s hott in herre this year!
This is the original live performance by France Gall of “Poupee de Cire, Poupee de Son,” the Serge Gainsbourg-penned song for the 1965 Eurovision concert.
Israel, although technically not part of Europe, has long been a part of the European Broadcasting Union and, thus, eligible. After numerous past wins including transsexual Dana International’s 1998 win with “Diva,” the Israelis have chosen to rep this year with a controversial song about the threat of Iranian nuclear terror called “Push The Button” by Teapacks. The Swedes have opted for the operatic glam rock of The Ark. Germany is going with a swingin’ crooner named Roger Cicero singing “Frauen Regieren Die Welt (Women Rule The World)” while the tiny principality of Andorra, sandwiched in The Pyrenees between Spain and France, is going with teen pop-punkers Anonymous with “Salvem El Mon (Save The World).” The Brits have yet to announce their entries, although it definitely will NOT be Jarvis Cocker of Pulp or Morrissey as previously speculated. Stay tuned here at Gaybo as the prepping, costuming and various hideous props are announced as well as rehearsal week with its share of sore throats and diva fits all culminating in the live final performances on saturday night!
After winning with the largest victory in contest history with pop-metal band Lordi’s “Hard Rock Hallelujah,” Finland will host this year’s Contest in Helsinki, May 10-12. And guess what? I’ll be there covering the event for all to read!! Euro trash? I love it!!!
SWEDEN ROCKS!
Speaking of Lordi, don’t miss these monsters of rock at The Troc on May 2nd. It’s an all-ages show to promote their imminent stateside release, The Arockalypse.
THREESOME OF THE WEEK
Speedo clad Greek warrior and studly star of “300” Gerard Butler, recently deceased local Sparacino Mens Store owner, Anthony Sparacino, and soulless hussy and American Idol loser Antonella Barba.