TOMMY ZANE REPORTS: Can someone please explain the smoking rules in this city, because I’ve been in
numerous clubs with people smoking all around me. If there’s food being served, you can’t smoke? Is that it? Funny thing is, none of the gay bars allow smoking. Word is that’s why Woody’s went up for sale — his receipts were cut in half by the smoking ban. I still get that weird pay-to-play feeling when I’m standing around a straight club and people are lighting up everywhere, but not so in the gay bars. Could it be the gay club owners are scared of Stonewall-style raids that could shut them down?
Believe it or not, once upon a time, gay clubs were routinely raided by police and shut down. Most feel these were deliberate displays of harassment and homophobia. Is it possible a form of this still exists in 2006?
Hmmmm . . . one thing I know, from personal experience: There are still plenty of homophobic, drunken frat boys out there ready to sling insults at you at any moment. I had such an experience this week in West Philly. While management eventually followed through and ejected said patron, it wasn’t enough to keep me from leaving as well.
Remember, my gay friends, it’s still a straight world and we’re really not welcome to party in most places. That said, there are a great number of welcoming straight establishments in Philly, including Fluid and Bob & Barbara’s. I guess it pays to remind oneself that we must always be vigilant, and that if us gay folks are invited to straight establishments, we’ll expect those straight friends to be vigilant as well.
Many thanks go to friends like Tina, who continue to push boundaries and be all-inclusive, bringing together gay and straight as it should be…
Thanksgiving was a pleasant surprise this year, as no one was sent to the hospital, nor did any relatives storm off in protest. Now, to be fair, two of my sisters weren’t even there, so the mix was totally off. But Uncle Vic was there slinging his sarcastic comments, keeping us all in stitches.
Runner-up for the Drama Desk award went to my sister-in-law, for her whining about her parents’ lack of interest in her children. They haven’t seen each other in 7 years, and most of her four kids wouldn’t recognize their own grandparents. Pretty pathetic.
But clearly, the big award winner this year at the Zane Family Thanksgiving was my 10-year-old nephew, Justin. Right there in the middle of Uncle Vic, Aunt Selma and the carved turkey, little Justin popped The Question: “Uncle Tommy, ya’ know that new Superman movie that came out this summer? Is that new Superman guy GAY?”
Well, Uncle Vic nearly fell off his seat. Aunt Selma downed her glass of wine.
I replied, “Oh, Justin . . . I’m not sure . . . let me check my list and get back to you.”
He was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, as if being gay was just like being left-handed or blond. Later, I called up my A-List friend Mitchell, who informed me that there have been rumors on the ‘net for months about latest Superman, Brandon Routh, nailing openly gay director Bryan Singer.
Apparently, I have a new 10-year-old gossip informant. Will wonders never cease?
THREESOME OF THE WEEK: Racist swearing Seinfeld alumnus Michael Richards, rapper ex-Britney hubby Kevin Federline and puke-inducing drunken tart Paris Hilton. What a frightening combination.
ABOUT THIS COLUMN: Are you gay and read Phawker? Or just thinking about it? Becoming gay that is. Because, you know, you “heard good things.” Are you straight but curious how the other team plays? Congressman, we have heard your call and answered your prayers. Our Gaydar Editor Tommy Zane is gay all day and queer for a year, and like all gays he is wickedly funny, stylish, tidy and knows from window treatments. He could also probably kick your ass into next week. But don’t worry, Tommy’s a lover not a fighter. He may be going to hell, but then most of our straight friends are, too. Every MONDAY look for GAYBO. We’ll have a gay old time!