AdBust: PUT YOUR ARM DOWN THE WAR IS ALMOST OVER!

The Client: Pennsylvania Ballet
The Creative: Joey Buttafuoco?
The Placement: Page 79 of Philadelphia Magazine, November 2006
The Verdict: About this ad? It’s like Zima — it ZUCKS! Here’s the deal, we didn’t give a shit about ballet before your ad, but we almost care less after seeing it. That’s not good advertising. It just wastes our time and your money. Our question is, Who did this thing to you? And who is he blackmailing? Problem areas: Pretty much every square inch of this. Questions: Why is this woman sniffing her armpit or, just to narrow this down a little, what-tha-fuck does that have to do with ballet? And who let Britney Spears dress her? Is that supposed to be sexy? It’s not. It looks desperate. Ads are supposed to inform. You’ve slapped a shitload of data — four different shows of which we walk away knowing nothing more than their title — but almost no take-away message. Why don’t you hit the Google and give us a little context and explanation for these shows, i.e. a reason we should give a shit. As it is you got a whole lotta clutter drowning out a teaser for The Nutcracker which is how the Ballet makes its bank and enables it to pay for things like, say, outside ad agency display ad invoices. So yer shootin’ yerself in the foot. And then there’s all this twofer this and group rates that talk, like yer sellin’ bingo tickets, fer chrissakes. Tacky, much? We may not know much about ballet, but last time we checked it was supposed to be a classy thing that classy motherfuckers went to.
Grade: F-