BY DAVE ALLEN Like time, news waits for no man. Keeping up with the funny papers has always been an all-day job, even in the pre-Internets era. These days, however, it’s a two-man job. That’s right, these days you need someone to do your reading for you, or risk falling hopelessly behind and, as a result, increasing your chances of dying lonely and somewhat bitter. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you. We pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer you towards the gooey center. Why? Because we love you!
ON THE COVER
PW: It might not be the City of Treehugger-ly Love, but PW’s Green Issue points out some places in the city that bleed green no matter how well McNabb and the Iggles play. The PW staff dishes out helpful hints by the dozen on earth-friendly pet maintenance and keeping your clothing and accessories in line with Mother Nature. Not listed: saving water by getting a second wear out of that t-shirt. On the head-scratching, I-did-not-know-that front, there’s a new strain of environmental activism running through the Catholic Church, and pollution now qualifies as a “social sin.” But before you run out and stone your neighbor for leaving the hose running while he washes his car, check out Cassidy Hartmann’s article on Rob Marco and the eco-hermetic lifestyle he’s setting up in Roxborough, and you’ll find a more enlightened approach.
For Rob Marco, a 28-year-old Roxborough resident pursuing a master’s degree in theology at Villanova, the 
opportunity to incorporate eco-friendly practices with Catholic teachings was no mere sign of the times. It was more like the answer to a prayer he hadn’t yet put into words. Last month Marco quit his job as a caseworker and began the Urban Hermitage Project—a plan to shed life’s material excesses and construct a sustainable one-room home out of recycled materials.
With a used van equipped with a composting toilet, special water treatment system, and not much else, Marco plans to dive deep into spiritual writing and expression. He’s driven, not a dingbat.
Marco plans to move into the bus by October—he just needs someplace to park it.“I’d prefer not to be [parked] on the street,” he says. A backyard would be ideal. No one’s offered yet, but Marco isn’t worried—he’s confident the right place will present itself.
Someone in Roxborough/Manayunk, hook an environmentally-conscious brother up!
CP: A comprehensive look at the eye-popping assemblage at this year’s Live Arts Festival and Philly Fringe. This year’s productions are spilling out into graveyards, stairwells, and car interiors, and some of them even look like Human Tetris. No gimmicky Japanese game shows in the bunch, but lots of other international offerings, including a “temporary retail concept” from the Netherlands and Scandinavian satire. Still, it’s a local group that has the widest reach among all the weirdness.
I can link Kevin Bacon to Pig Iron Theatre Co. in four steps: Bacon appeared in Apollo 13 with Tom Hanks. Hanks was in The Green Mile with David Morse. Morse starred in Hack, in which local acting legend Tom McCarthy guested. McCarthy acted in Arden Theatre Co.’s The Grapes of Wrath with Pig Iron Theatre Co. co-founders Quinn Bauriedel, Suli Holum and Dito van Reigersberg.
Whew.
But Bacon’s not the only porcine-monikered performer who can play that game. In this year’s Philadelphia Live Arts Festival and Philly Fringe, Pig Iron’s got a hand in so many shows, it’d be remiss not to tie them all together.
Empty your wallets and feast your eyes, folks, but look out for giant spiders.
INSIDE THE BOOK
PW: Two wheels bad, four wheels good: trying to change Philly’s approach to bikes, plus a tub-soaking Craig Lindsey on cover tunes — I mean, recycled songs. Outside the green stuff, a best-of hoagie wrap-up: Set mouth to ‘water.’ Plus, Caralyn Green is hangin’ tough, but she doesn’t tip her hand about which is her favorite NKOTB.
CP: Megawords’ Chinatown experiment is a rhapsody in burnt orange. Choice DVDs if cookouts or the beach don’t beckon you this weekend. Mad about chew: new drug scourge or harmless East African import? Great eats and atmosphere at 10 Arts, plus special bonus: psychic waiters.
THE WINNER: CP’s cover reminds me of the dead bodies in Shyamalan’s crap-tacular “The Happening,” but the PW cover gets flagged 10 yards for unnecessary vomit. I know it’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature, bu tCP wins it by a nose.