Phawker Presents The 10th Installment Of BLOTTO

BY LANCE DOILY Since the main office we work out of is located right in the middle of a gritty industrial area on the outskirts of Paterson, most of the guys spend their down time meandering through the lawless concrete ruins behind the Tropicana warehouse up the block. So we took it upon ourselves to meet with a few of their Tropicana workers and started a baseball league. The warm-up games alone separated the men from the boys as they were played entirely on a hard slab of concrete, but from the beginning a decision was made to take a […]

BLAZE ON: Cali Pot Legalization On The Ballot For 2010; Ex-Seattle Police Chief Says ‘Legalize It’

ALTERNET: The Tax & Regulate Cannabis 2010 campaign has just achieved a major victory in its efforts to legalize marijuana for all adults in California — they have gathered the signatures necessary for inclusion on the state’s November ballot. “This is the next step to sane cannabis policies and the end to the hypocrisy and unjust prohibition of cannabis,” pot entrepreneur Richard Lee told me Monday morning. He is the co-proponent and a major sponsor of the Tax Cannabis initiative and the force — and money — behind Oaksterdam, the successful marijuana-friendly section of Oakland. This win means that Californians will be […]

CAPTURING THE FRIEDBERGERS: Or, 13 Snappy Answers To 13 Silly Questions For The Fiery Furnaces

FIERY FURNACES 1979: Matthew Friedberger and his sister Darth Vader Eleanor PHAWKER: Have you ever been arrested? If so please explain. MATTHEW FREIDBERG: Well rested, mostly. A-rested, rarely. Explain what? PHAWKER: Never mind. Have you ever knowingly killed anyone? If so please explain. MF: I read in an email very much like this one that we were just killin’ it every night cross Europe. Maybe you can explain that. Knowingly? PHAWKER: What was the last book you read? MF: Too personal. PHAWKER: Wow, that must have been some book! Okay, last album purchased? Was it worth it? MF: Dizzy Gillespie […]

Amy Winehouse Has Emphysema & Lump In Breast

HAPPIER MONDAYS: Amy Winehouse & Now-Jailed Husband Blake Sharing Unidentified White Pills ASSOCIATED PRESS: LONDON — Soul diva Amy Winehouse has damaged her lungs by smoking crack cocaine and cigarettes, her father said in an interview published Sunday. The Sunday Mirror quoted Mitch Winehouse as saying that Amy has early stage emphysema and an irregular heartbeat, and has been warned that she will have to wear an oxygen mask unless she stops smoking drugs.”The doctors have told her if she goes back to smoking drugs, it won’t just ruin her voice, it will kill her,” Mitch Winehouse was quoted as […]

INDISUPUTABLE: Amy Winehouse Has Become The Most Persuasive Anti-Drug Ad We Have Ever Seen

THE SUN: AMY WINEHOUSE was arrested last night after allegedly attacking two men while out on a wild drug-fuelled bender. The junkie singer, 24, is to be quizzed by police after claims she HEADBUTTED a Good Samaritan who hailed her a cab outside a bar. Rehab star Amy, said to have PUNCHED a second victim in the face, sank to a horrific new low while high on Class A drugs. Onlookers told how the married singer also SNOGGED a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks. She was later seen smoking drugs in the […]

RIP: Actor Heath Ledger Dead At 28

NEW YORK TIMES: The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28. At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger’s bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. […]