Hell Hath No Fury: Metro Fires Back

We knew damn well we were opening a whole new can of whup-ass with our Metro ass-clowning. And that’s fine, after all, if you’re gonna dish it out you better be willing to take it like a man, too. That’s how it works: you take your best shot, and then we take ours. So here it is — DUCK! — the Metro’s stinging rebuke:   Dear Phawker, Glad you dug the Week that Was. I almost cut the healthcare answer to get the Sweeney answer in, but it was too good. We at Metro have long since surpassed the monkey […]

Chix We Dig: Forget Dave Chappelle, It’s Now Official, Sarah Silverman Most Controversial Negro In The Known Universe

This is something else we’re gonna do: buck the Calendar Journalism school of arts coverage. And buck it hard. We don’t work for the publicists, so why should we work on their clock? Who fuckin’ died and made them Elvis? Sure, Jesus Is Magic came out on DVD eons ago, but all copies of the frickin’ thing have been rented-out at TLA ever since. We FINALLY got our hands on a copy and watched it last night and we’ll just leave it at this: TLA if you are reading this, we are not fuckin’ bringin’ it back. Repeat, NOT. But […]

PBR: Bolt-Throwing Gods of Hockey Angry, Smite Hitchcock; Whistling Past Smoking Hole In The Ice, Bobby Clarke Quits To Spend More Time With Fam

So the Flyers tried the old stealth firing, under cover of darkness and the Sabbath: Lower the boom on a Sunday morning just hours before a Birds game for minimum fallout. New Flyers Head Coach (former Phantoms coach John Stevens) and general manager (assistant G.M. Paul Holmgren) just magically appear in Voorhees on Monday. Not so fast Ed Snider and Peter Luukko. You’re living in the New Media age. You should know Comcast SportsNet is going to halt the five-hour loop of SportsRise, get Michael Barkann, Neil Hartman and Al Morganti (guess the Erotic Caf? was closed) out of bed […]

Party People Alert: Emergency Kegger At Vox Populi

From: sean@r5productions.com Subject: [R5] VOX POPULI BENEFIT THIS SUNDAY w/ BANDS AND BEER ! Date: October 20, 2006 3:10:22 PM EDT To: r5productions@lists1.safesecureweb.com Hello – Just a quick note about a benefit worth attending this weekend…For those who are not in the know – Vox Populi is an local galley/collective who are being forced out of their building due to Philadelphia Convention Center expansion. This displacement and move is going to cost Vox several tens of thousands dollars. Here’s the PW story with all the gory details.

Outrage: Phawker Phucked By Metro

File this under Mountain Range Made Out Of Mole Hill. As previously reported, the Metro named us Celeb of the Week. There was a ticker tape parade. Lotsa confetti. Oversized key to the city. Everybody dancing to “Louie Louie.” The whole nine yards. (Lil’ known fact, the Metro Celeb of the Week gets to smoke WHEREVER he/she fuckin’ feels like it. Like it’s America again, or something. But this only applies for the duration of the week of your celebdom, after that it’s back to the curb with the rest of the shivering punters. As per usual, we abused this […]

Letter From The Editor: Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Welcome to Phawker! Please, make yourself at home. Take your shoes off, sit a spell. Beer’s in the fridge. Just leave the seat up, or down. We really don’t care. At Phawker, YOU are The Decider. But please be gentle, we are still fresh and pink from the womb, naked and shaking like a Polaroid picture just coming into focus. So by all means, come back again tomorrow. We only get better with age. Why Phawker you ask? Because, like any band worth a damn, nobody was singing the song we wanted to hear so we made up our own. […]

PBR: Does Dr. J Got The Benjamins To Buy The Sixers? And Why Stephen A. Smith Makes Us Want To Saw Our Cocks Off

The Daily News‘ Phil Jasner has some Deep Throat dish on Dr. J putting together a consortium to buy the Sixers from Comcast-Spectacor. I haven’t been this stoked about a celebrity assembling a group to purchase a local team since former Gong Show host and C.I.A. operative Chuck Barris (with silent partners Jamie Farr, Jaye P. Morgan and the Unknown Comic) tried to purchase the Phillies from the Carpenter family in the ’80s. Hey, we’re basically riding out the A.I. era at this point and stockpiling midlevel draft picks. This definitely qualifies as big news for the Sixers…Stephen A. Smith. […]

NPR For The Deaf: We Hear It Even When You Can’t

We are SO psyched about today’s Fresh Air. It’s one of our very favorite interviews in the entire recorded history of Q&A: Ray Manzarek, keyboard player for the Doors and producer of X. If you don’t already own it, get thee a copy of X’s More Fun In The New World directly. The time to hesitate is thru. No time to wallow in the mire. Sorry. So just to set up this Ray interview, he sits at the piano, tinkling out memories of the Dionysian/Apollonian dialectic thru the prism of peace, pot and microdot. And at least four or five […]

Almost Famous: The Metro Declares Phawker Celeb Of The Week

This was news to us, but apparently this is a regular feature, wherein some local philebrity cracks wise on The Week That Was, to wit: Lynn Swann ate his cheesesteak covered in hot peppers at Pat?s yesterday. That makes him more of a man than John Kerry, who ate his with Swiss cheese, right? That was a low point for Democrats. Kerry might as well have been wearing a Speedo. But Swann?s like O.J. Simpson: It’s not about race, it’s about class. He?s a very rich man and that’s why he?s a Republican. Health care coverage costs continue to soar […]

Video Kills The Radio Star: Trolleyvox Gets Its Protest Singer On

In which Trolleyvox, our fellow pegged pants-wearing Murmur-loving jangling veterans of foreign rock wars, put down the yellowing back issue of The Bob and go down to the demonstration to get their fair share of abuse. They didn’t start the fire, either. But dammit they ARE gonna put it out. See ’em tonight at the North Star Bar, along with B.C. Camplight and the Novenas. It’s their record release party for the just-dropped The Trolleyvox Present the Karaoke Meltdowns. Viddy by Woodshop Films. Enjoy, my droogees. And be not afraid. We SHALL overcome. Some day.