SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Before The Big Fall



BY WILLIAM C. HENRY How do I hate the orange man who lives in a white house of pain and the theater of cruelty he has staged for the past 24 days? Let me count the ways. For starters, folks, did you know that the Texas REPUBLICAN U.S. Representative whose district includes more southern border — 820 MILES — than ANY other politician in the southwest does SMUSNOT want this COMPLETELY ASININE WALL constructed! But, this completely ASININE Republican President of ours DOES! And, to make matters even more horrendously ASININE, this completely ASININE Republican President of ours believes that nearly a MILLION government workers and their families are little more than “throw-aways”! For God’s sake, he’s going to see to it that they don’t get PAID until and unless he gets his ASININE WALL! Think about that, folks. How would YOU feel if YOUR employer hadn’t presented you with a paycheck for the past THREE weeks, and you don’t even know when the NEXT one will be issued?!

And that’s not the only DISGUSTING aspect of this INTENTIONAL, ASININE, President-created, OBSCENITY! Think about the hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of U.S. citizens like you and me who were previously able to sustain THEIR livelihoods through the spending of those paychecks! They too are getting thrown under this ASININE President-driven bus! This ignorant, racist, petulant, binky-sucking, completely ASININE excuse for a President has decided that either he gets his requested funding to build his wasteful, hate-bred ASININE WALL of bias and bigotry, or he’ll continue to withhold payment from MILLIONS of government workers and those whose livelihoods are dependent upon those incomes — for YEARS if necessary!

And are you aware that DEMOCRATS in Congress have indicated a willingness to adequately fund a TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY (as opposed to a completely ASININE Trumpian Middle Ages-type) “barrier” wherever necessary along the entirety of the U.S./Mexican border. A truly NON-ASININE “barrier” that would include extensive “drone” and land-based camera and motion-sensing capacities as well as significant increases in border security manpower, equipment and facilities. In other words, overall MODERN border security and IMMIGRATION POLICY that ACTUALLY WORKS rather than an ASININE WALL that illegals could easily circumvent, (a) by climbing over it using such “high tech” equipment as LADDERS, or (b) by crawling under it using such “rocket science” innovations as TUNNELS, or (c) simply by walking through it employing such “high tech” tools as HACKSAWS or even more “sophisticated” portable battery-powered versions available at their local Home Depot! Did I forget to mention utilizing Nobel-worthy inventions like dynamite?

Here are a few facts, folks — and, yes, I know how much the Oval Office Orangutan HATES facts — (a) Orange Mane HIMSELF has publicly acknowledged/stated that illegal immigration is at its lowest level in 17 YEARS!, (b) the overall NUMBERS of immigrants aren’t creating this phony crisis (which the completely ASININE wall wouldn’t do ANYTHING to reduce anyway), it’s the FACT that our callous, biased, disgustingly out-of-date immigration policy/system isn’t equipped to handle/deal with even the LEGAL immigration of MEN, WOMEN, CHILDREN AND/OR FAMILIES, period!, and (c) you haven’t heard the Pongo mention so much as a single goddamn WORD about these FACTS! I swear to God, when are we finally going to lock this moronic, racist, criminally ASININE son-of-a-bitch up!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.