SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: F*ck You, Mr. President

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BY WILLIAM C. HENRY WARNING: When describing a cesspool, sometimes you have to include a little excrement. So, if you’re sensitive to expletives, don’t bother going any further. So, what’s with America’s moderate mainstream media and the Democrat party tiptoeing around this lying piece of shit we euphemistically refer to as the “president.” What’s with their “treading lightly” when it comes to SMUSreporting on, or responding to, this lying, pandering, sewer-dweller? This uber-repulsive Defecator/Divider in Chief; his entire bottom-feeding, obsequious administration; and his kowtowing, sycophantic Republican House and Senate minions are nothing less than vile modern-day reincarnations of the Goebbels/Nazi “big lies” truth exterminators. Yet so many among our “objective” Fourth Estate and opposition party with the capacity to direct the country’s attention towards accurately and factually disseminated news seem incapable or unwilling to respond to any of the aforementioned individuals or component parts of this fetid, rancid, governing swamp in matching tone, proportion, content or kind. And, too, given the fact that all of those involved with the first two evils are doing their squatting on American-dime-provided potties (actually all three are) as a result of one of the most bogus and iniquitous whoppers ever perpetrated.

Don’t EVER forget that Trump wasn’t even ELECTED president. He was APPOINTED to that most august of offices as a result of the most dastardly disgusting lie ever foisted upon the American people! That’s right, folks, it was by “virtue” of that goddamn American abomination called the Electoral College, and to this day it remains the phoniest, most unfair, prejudiced (literally) and corrupt “voting” process ever imposed on any populace by any government anywhere, at anytime, under any circumstances, for any purpose or reason ever contrived, connived, colluded or conspired! It is the singularly most undemocratic political process ever concocted by any unelected, white, male, land-holding, slave owners in American history. The “founding fathers” came up with the system? More like the “founding oligarchs” by any truly altruistic measure!

So, how can we unerringly determine if Trump is lying? Answer: He’s not deceased. If he’s alive, he’s lying. If he’s not breathing, he probably isn’t. That’s the test. But you’ve got to be absolutely certain that he’s expired, and that will entail having learned it “on the record” from at least a half dozen recognized non-fake news outlets. Learning it from Fox News amounts to nothing. Fox News will never go “on record” confirming that Trump has actually passed on. And I’m not being entirely facetious. Aside from the fact that Fox News wouldn’t broadcast truth even if it came with an Eisenhower endorsement, there’s nothing whatsoever funny about having a lying piece of shit for a president. Not a single thing.

Did you notice how the Trump Sump Pumpers are all up in arms over a restaurant owner refusing service to the administration’s OTLV (Official Trump Lies Validator) at the same time she’s hailing Trump’s SCOTUS majority as having ruled that it’s perfectly OK for a bigoted Colorado bible thumping baker to refuse to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple! Would the media have reacted as timidly if Trump’s chumps had ruled that an ATHIEST baker could refuse to bake a wedding cake for a heterosexual Christian couple?! Can ho-hum reporting of public “burnings at the stake” bakes be far behind?! Where the hell was a well-deserved irate media reaction to this racist, bigoted administration mouthpiece’s disgusting “justification” commentary?!

One needn’t go any further in describing the media’s wrist-slapping approach to Trump’s repugnant behavior than to witness its anemic condemnation of Trump’s phony, hypocritical, prevaricated, patriotic nationalism. In truth he doesn’t give a shit about American democracy or anything “democratic” that attaches to it! If he spent even a fraction of the time he spends lavishing compliments and wet kisses on the asses of the world’s absolute worst butchering bastard tyrants, publicly expressing appreciation for the sacrifices our century-old allies have contributed to our freedom with both their blood and their loyalty, he’d still be 90% of the butt hole bottom-feeder he’s been since birth! Incidentally, Trumpty Dumpty, how did that little tete-a-tete you had with Kim Jong-un work out? Oh, that’s right, you ended up with a handful of shit, a two-bit photo op, and bragging rights to how you were able to stick American taxpayers with million$ of dollar$ worth of airfare, hotel, gourmet food, and public meeting room rental charges, and absolutely NOTHING else! Couldn’t possibly have been done by or had happen to a dumber bum fucking phony!

But, what the hell, Kim got his 15 minutes worth of worldwide prestige, an end to war games to his south, a lessening of well-deserved sanctions, and the pleasure of haranguing about how a little pissant of a pint-sized piece of butchering scum outwitted one of the most ignorant and pretentious examples of excremental leadership in the free world! What could be finer? Well, now that you’ve asked, how ’bout another imbecilic, nothing to gain, sure to be made a complete and utter fool of, little tete-a-tete with a slightly bigger, whole lot richer, considerably more powerful but just as slime-covered and scum-ridden, murdering, butchering, fellow colluding democracy hater, thief and lifelong liar? By the way, Dumpster, who’s going to pay for Putin’s participation? What an effing filthy, dirty joke on the American taxpayer.

But probably the lowest, scumbag, slimeball, low-life lies he’s ever told are the ones he’s used — and continues to use — to try to cover his own treasonous, corrupt, criminal ass, and denigrate, demean and defecate on the honest, hard working, life risking, uber patriotic men and women who constitute some of the finest, non-partisan investigative and security agencies and departments of the federal government. In other words, “Meknows the Donald doth protest too much.” Hey, is it any wonder that Trump refuses to provide his tax returns; that American banks no longer want anything to do with him or his organization; or, that he and his former and present political colleagues and close personal associates, including his attorneys. cabinet secretaries, and appointees to high level administration positions are outright thieves, liars and incompetents in their own right as well as under investigation and/or indictment, or are cooperating with federal investigators on a raft of criminal charges from obstruction of justice to bribery, tampering and money laundering to criminal collusion with a foreign government in its efforts to sway American elections! Christ, this isn’t a president, it’s a swamp monster who deserves to choke and drown in its own excretions!

You know what, Trump? you don’t deserve civility. So, f _ ck you and your ignorant, imbecilic IQ, your lie-drooling lips, and the phony, fake news Fox donkey’s ass you rode in on!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.