VOLK: I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just A Father Of Newborn Twins


STEVE VOLK: At the stage we’re in, after 13 weeks, the babies are still too weak to breastfeed in tandem. Their behavior and sleep patterns are so unpredictable there is no trading off childcare. Instead of going for a run, doing a little shopping or even walking around the block, we engage in crying jags, recriminations, groans of despair, and an occasional hour spent madly scrambling to cook, wash dishes, shop (online), do the laundry and did I mention cry, while the babies hold us hostage to their unending needs and perversely cute faces. The conclusion, from my admittedly warped perspective (remember, I’m psychotic), is that if you’re raising one baby, and you have a live-in spouse or partner, you are barely a parent. Sure, technically, you’ve got a kid. But with two newborns to care for, I don’t have time for technicalities. You’re insulted. And I get it: Having even one meager child radically alters a man or woman’s identity. That paltry little singleton baby is a great source of pride. One tiny child, just one, wailed in the night and you were forever changed. Hey, you have every right to be proud. By my math, in fact, you should be about half as proud as a parent of twins. MORE