Photo by Deborah Lopez
BY JONATHAN VALANIA “If heroin still made me feel like I did the first time, and kept making me that way forever — kept working — I might’ve quite happily accepted a desolate, marginal life and death,” writes Mike Doughty, aka M. Doughty, former frontman for the dearly departed Soul Coughing, in the introduction to The Book of Drugs, his wickedly funny recently-published memoir. Although he is loathe to admit it, Soul Coughing was easily the most fascinating, innovative and sonically-subversive American band to come along since Devo. Future generations of scientists may well conclude that Western Civilization set back the cause of progress for decades when it elected to ignore the band’s bracing blend of Beat poetics, hip-hop, funk and industrial rock. I strongly urge you to drop everything right now and get yourself a copy of Irresistible Bliss. You can thank me later. For the past decade-plus, Doughty has been working solo, cranking out more than a dozen studio albums, live recordings and limited edition EPs. He is currently touring in support of The Book of Drugs putting on a show that is one part concert, one part book reading, one part question an answer session with the audience. He performs tomorrow at the Sellersville Theater and will be returning to the area for WXPN’s XPonential Fest. Since Mr. Doughty has demonstrated a fondness and facility for the advice columnist format, we decided to utilize it for his Phawker Q&A.
Dear Mr. Doughty,
I am thinking about starting a critically-acclaimed early 90s alt-rock band that combines Beat poetry, hip-hop-ish spoken word, the clangorous mechanized audio palette industrial music and the booty-shaking grooves of funk, but all anyone wants to talk about is Nirvana, Nirvana, Nirvana! Please help,
Signed Luckless On The Lower East Side
Dear Mr. or Mrs, Phawker,
I’m thinking about starting a time machine, going back to 1994, and abandoning a critically-acclaimed-early-90s etc., because that music isn’t what I wanted
it to be, and the band was a dark, emotionally abusive, ugly marriage. It sounds watered-down, annoyingly self-conscious, and goofy, and I was–in my opinion–bullied into signing away the copyrights to bandmates that–in my opinion–beat the life out of me, verbally, considered me beneath their talents, and exhibited behavior that was–in my opinion–somewhere between bizarrely delusional and mean-spiritedly amoral. Then, I’ll do some recording with DJ Premier, Future Sound of London, and Ali Shaheed Muhammad. If the time machine is unworkable, I’ll simply ask–humbly, sincerely, and respectfully–that people who want to hear songs by the critically-acclaimed-90s etc. consider not attending the show, because I’ve abandoned that repertoire, and play the songs I’ve been writing and releasing for a dozen years. There’s a lot of people who came to these songs because they knew Soul Coughing first, but the audience is there for Skittish, Haughty Melodic, Sad Man Happy Man, Yes and Also Yes, and etc. A Soul Coughing fan would feel extremely out-of-place. I’d also love to get rid of that Beatnik tag. I’m generations removed from those dudes. It’s like calling Mötley Crüe a blues band. I truly, truly mean this respectfully: though you may be a Soul Coughing fan, I’m not–bigtime not. I know that seems weird, but it’s true. It makes me sad to have to deal with this band I dislike so intensely all the time. More importantly, it makes me sad to disappoint you.
Dear Mr. Doughty,
I have very little experience with hard drugs but I am thinking about trying heroin because I’ve heard good things and it seems to have improved the quality of life for so many people. Please advise.
Signed Soon To Be In A World Of Pain
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Phawker,
If you’ve used Vicodin, Percoset, or Oxycodone, you’ve used the exact same substance as heroin–not akin to heroin, the same thing. As gin and whiskey are both alcohol. Heroin’s cheaper, and nobody has to con a prescription out of anybody, but the quality varies. You may be asking specifically about the use of needles, about which I’m, alas, inexpert–I was a shmecker (Yiddish for sniffer). I do know that needles don’t affect the strength of the substance, just the speed at which it enters the bloodstream. Be assured: opiates are opiates, even if you put them on a Ritz cracker and shove them up your asshole.
Dear Mr. Doughty,
I am thinking about signing my life away to a major label. It just seems like a lot of fun. Please advise.
Signed, Soon To Be Completely Fucked
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Phawker,
I was treated well by all the record companies I worked with. There was an A&R guy at Warner Bros. that I’d describe as a gay, indie-rock Jabba the Hutt, and he was somewhat of a demonically passive-aggressive presence, but, other than that, they were respectful and accommodating. I kind of wished they’d have stepped in a little more, actually. Record companies are great if they give you tour support. It is so, so rare these days. Just the cost of gasoline and shared motel rooms. You’ll probably need to box the country four or five times before you have an audience–even if you do have one of those fluke blog explosions that people, sadly, still think translates into a viable career.
Dear Mr. Doughty,
My band and I don’t get along anymore. Should I just let things fester and, presumably, magically fix themselves or take a more proactive, less drug-addicted approach? How do you see this working out?
Signed, Pride Goeth Before A Fall
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Phawker,
You’re fortunate, in that you say “anymore”. The band I was in didn’t get along at any point in its existence. I’d say I was–and I don’t think this is too strong a word–hated by my bandmates. I don’t know why it’s so hard to leave abusive relationships–I guess if you grow up in a dark household, you’ll recreate it when you become an adult. Please, leave this abusive relationship you’re in. It’s just not worth it.
Dear Mr. Doughty,
I am thinking about writing a memoir of my life as a post-junkie alt-rock refugee. The tone will be black humor mixed with brutal honesty. Should I tell the truth or just make a lot of crazy shit up? Also, what are the possible downsides?
Signed The Man Who Said Too Much
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Phawker,
Tell the truth. It’s a Rashomon world, and absolutely everybody has a different perspective on everything. But, tell your truth, and be scrupulous in your honesty. If you’re already an oversharer, there aren’t downsides, other than–perhaps–a little snark, occasionally, on the internet.
MIKE DOUGHTY PERFORMS TOMORROW NIGHT AT THE SELLERSVILLE THEATER