WORTH REPEATING: The 13th Floor Elevators

The 215’s de facto Mr. Manners, aka Philly Mag’s Victor Fiorillo, made us all laugh until we cried — or cry until we laughed — with his rules of etiquette for beating your children on public transit. On today’s Philly Post he presents a six-point plan for curbing the sociopathology of office building elevator riders. To wit:

Elevator Etiquette Rule #3: Don’t Talk on Your Damn Cell Phone
This is, perhaps, the most obvious elevator etiquette rule that there is, and yet, ignorant types choose to violate it daily. I am, of course, talking about the basic tenet of elevator cell phone etiquette, which is, quite simply, that your cell phone should not be in use on an elevator, other than for silent purposes, like texting or browsing. Of the many elevator cell phone conversations I have witnessed, not one has met either of the following conditions:

    –a phone call with a surgeon just after some life-saving operation of a parent.

    –a desperate attempt to reach a loved one in the event of an impending asteroid impact with the Planet Earth.

If you’re on an elevator with some idiot who insists on carrying on some pointless and loud cell phone conversation (scientific fact: elevator cell phone talkers speak louder than non-elevator cell phone talkers 10), I would recommend one of four things:

    –Shame the person. Make it clear that their behavior is socially unacceptable. Imagine it’s the 1940s and you’re an old woman with a walking stick whacking some ne’er-do-well in public for bad behavior. That’s the attitude you want to take.
    –Treat rudeness with rudeness. Start talking loudly to a fellow rider (for pointers on what to talk about, see Elevator Etiquette Rule #1 above) in an effort to thwart the attempted cell phone conversation. You could also fake your own cell phone conversation, 11 repeatedly yelling, “Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m in an elevator” over and over again.

    –Enlist that cell phone jammer-brandishing bus passenger.

    –Or make like the phone-smashing Thai schoolteacher in this viral video. MORE

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