SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: The Dark Art Of Convincing White Middle Class America To Vote Against Itself

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BY WILLIAM C. HENRY Rarely has a political party so craftily cozened a majority of its naive yet trusting adherents as has the current Republican edition with its sham economic policies. Take for example convincing their blue- (and even many white) collar disciples that a further lessening of the already absurdly low tax burden on the wealthy — many of whom for nearly a decade have paid an unconscionably lower percentage of their income in taxes than middle-class wage earners — will assuredly result in a mutually beneficial “trickling down” of vast improvement to their already-shattered-by-the-VERY-SAME-POLICIES lives. No doubt, but watch out for falling swine excrement just in case.

But perpetuating tax inequity is only part of this grand scam. A second portion centers around the Right Wing’s and their Wall Street puppet masters’ insistence that further weakening or outright non-enforcement of already lax financial regulatory processes is the answer to economic revitalization and unprecedented prosperity for all. Yeah, and I’ve got an “underwater” condo in Florida I’d like to sell you. Jesus, should owe YOGI an apology for that one! Presumably skeptics are to be offered scholarships to study the finer points of Ponzi scheming.

The third aspect of the hoax involves the Republican party’s contention that big government is the root of all evil and that getting it out of our lives will lead to a heretofore unimaginable rebirth of entrepreneurship which in turn will deliver us unabated to a promised land of milk, honey, and a third car in every garage (and in keeping with inherent Republican honesty, an attribution to the politically heroic action of their most preeminent critic is no doubt to be found at the bottom of the page). Know what? I’m betting there are at least a few retirement-robbed victims nee true believers of theirs who experienced the Great Depression and know firsthand what it’s like when Big Business, NOT Big Government, is allowed to run amok who now strongly disagree.

The fourth and perhaps most perplexing facet of the scheme calls for their unemployed and foreclosed-on faithful to accept the premise that doing absolutely nothing whatsoever to promote job creation over the past three years has been (and will continue to be) the surest way for their Senators and Representatives in Washington to facilitate a reduction in the jobless rate. You’ll have to admit that this approach appears a bit “radical” on its face, but once you get into to the the real nitty-gritty of it you discover that it’s an altogether incomprehensible interpretation of the same rock-solid indisputable logic that has characterized Republican thought and action for the past thirty years!

Am I being cynical? Of course. What else can you be when discussing the economic flimflam of a bunch of racist pseudo-patriots whose stated single most important mission for the past three years has been to accomplish the failure of the nation’s first black Presidency to the total exclusion of doing anything that could in any way materially benefit the greater part of the very constituency who sent them to Washington in the first place and whose best interests it was their duty to represent! Oh, and a tip of the hat to Victor Lustig whose shining example and continuing inspiration no Republican Congressperson or the horse they rode in on could survive without.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.

1889 = The number of Americans killed in action in Afghanistan.

100,000 plus = The number of Americans seriously wounded in Afghanistan including those requiring extensive long-term treatment for severe mental trauma.

0 = The number of financial industry kingpins indicted for having committed the most massive FRAUD in American history and wrecking the global economy, plunging untold millions into lives of misery and deprivation.

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