SH*T MY UNCLE SAYS: Confusion Is Next


BY WILLIAM C. HENRY We are going to learn a great deal about ourselves as Americans, and as human beings, between now and November 7th, 2012. We’re going to find out what our REAL underlying values are; about our humanity, our ethics, our true morals. We’re going to expose our collective intelligence, our ability to reason, our ability to analyze, our ability to interpret. We’re most likely going to reveal whether, as a nation, we believe in basic science or the bible-tells-us-so. We’re most definitely going to learn a great deal about our capacity for tolerance, understanding and compassion; and a whole lot more about our desire to identify and institute a humane-centric set of national priorities. We’re damn sure going to find out just how appreciative, respectful and deserving we are of our form of government’s greatest gift–and most solemn obligation–the ballot box. All things considered, we just may find out what kind of country we REALLY are.

We’re going to learn the depth of the Democrat party’s commitment to fairness and equal treatment; and if the Republican party can squeeze out a commitment to common decency. We’re going to determine if Democrat resolve in matters of Social Security and Medicare is a match for Republican insistence on shutting down the social welfare tap to nothing more than a trickle. We’re going to find out if the Democrat party along with the lower and middle classes have enough energy or inclination left to continue the war to preserve the American dream (we’re also going to learn to what lengths this President is willing to go to maintain an uninterrupted flow of arms to the cause). Hopefully we’ll discover if either of our morally bankrupt political uncle_sam_suicide.jpgparties will grant Palestinians the same rights and privileges they’re willing to sacrifice thousands of lives and untold billions in treasure in order to provide for their brothers in arms in Iraq and Afghanistan. If we’re truly blessed, some grand attention-grabbing heaven-sent revelation (as that appears to be the only type of notification that most Americans seem willing to pay particular attention to) will burst forth to make it convincingly clear that theĀ  REAL “terrorist” threat this nation faces comes from the THOUSANDS of domestic SPYING operations that have been created by, or at the behest of, our Constitution-loathing GOVERNMENT(S) in the wake of 9/11.

Hopefully we’re going to find out if Rick Perry knows the difference between a Tea Party and a Ponzi scheme (right now I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt since apparently there is none). Regretfully, however, it’s doubtful we will ever be able to determine if Michele Bachmann is mentally or morally capable of uttering a comprehensible word of truth or fact. If we’re lucky, we’ll find out why Mitt Romney championed and signed into law a health care plan for all Baystaters, but doesn’t feel the rest of us “ordinary” Americans are deserving of same. Thank goodness we’re finally going to know whether Sarah Palin was able to best Katie Couric in the yearlong “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” sponsored read-a-thon challenge since the agreed upon three year Palin head start is up at the end of this month. We’re also going to find out if Marco Rubio’s decision to don a sandwich board advertising his Vice Presidential availability was worth the effort. In Glenn Beck’s case, we’re going to find out just how far bigotry and baldfaced lying can take a really bad guy once he’s on his own. Unfortunately, it’s a given that Obama lied when he said American troops would be out of Iraq by the end of the year, so you needn’t hold your breath on that one.

Most importantly, folks, we’re going to find out if the American electorate really and truly IS sufficiently masochistic and muddle-headed enough to turn the country back over to the very greed-consumed, laissez-faire, conscienceless plutocrats whose fiscal policies and outright criminality nearly drove it out of existence in the first place. But, something like that could never happen, right? Wrong. If you deem yourself a Democrat and don’t vote, you’ll be dumpster diving for the discards of Republicans who did!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Fed up early stage septuagenarian who has actually been most of there and done most of that. Born and raised in the picturesque Pocono Mountains. Quite well educated. Very lucky to have been born into a well-schooled and somewhat prosperous family. Long divorced. One beautiful, brilliant daughter. Two far above average grandsons. Semi-retired (how does anyone manage to do it completely these days?) and fully-tired of bullshit. Uncle of the Editor-In-Chief.

1,770 = The number of Americans killed in action in Afghanistan
13,011 = The number of AmericansĀ  wounded in Afghanistan.
0 = The number of financial industry kingpins indicted for having committed the most massive FRAUD in American history and wrecking the global economy, plunging untold millions into lives of misery and deprivation.

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