MONICA YANT KINNEY: Did Andy Warhol have Jersey Shore in mind when he predicted that “in the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”? That was around 1968, before cable provided a forum for the classless masses to share their special gifts. It’s easy to argue that these playas are acting. In her Jersey Shore introduction, cast member Angelina even compared herself to reality royalty, bragging that “I’m the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island.” And yet every drunk Guidette scarfing Cool Ranch Doritos after an evening of videotaped humiliation was once someone’s little girl. In ranchers and rowhouses across the land, adults encourage or allow their babies to shame themselves for fame. In a telling scene on Jersey Shore, promiscuous, profane Snooki phoned her father in tears. She wanted to leave the beach after making a disastrous first impression. “Who the [expletive] is this?” he answered. Like father, like daughter. After a pep talk, Snooki decided to stick it out, because getting wasted on TV will help her “grow up and understand who I am.” “Snooki’s staying!” she vowed. “I’m ready to party!” In interviews after the premiere, Snooki said had she so enjoyed her experience that she’d happily star in a spin-off chronicling her search for Mr. Right. “I like tan Italian boys with big muscles,” she said. Guidos only, please. Snooki has standards. MORE

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