THE DANGERS OF MAGICAL THINKING: Just Because There Is No Evidence That Glenn Beck Raped And Murdered A Girl In 1990 Doesn’t Prove He Didn’t


GLENNBECKRAPEDANDMURDEREDAYOUNGGIRLIN1990.COM: This site exists to try and help examine the vicious rumour that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. We don’t claim to know the truth — only that the rumour floating around saying that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 should be discussed. So we’re going to do our part to try and help get to the bottom of this. Why won’t Glenn Beck deny these allegations? Notice: This site is parody/satire. We assume Glenn Beck did not rape and murder a young girl in 1990, although we haven’t yet seen proof that he didn’t. But we think Glenn Beck definitely uses tactics like this to spread lies and misinformation. MORE

THE STRANGER: This is a parody/satire website dedicated to exploring the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990. They are offering a 200 dollar reward for anyone who can prove that no girls were raped and murdered by Glenn Beck in 1990. Current polls show that 84% of everyone who took this online poll believe that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990. They are using the same probing journalistic skills to explore the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990 that Glenn Beck himself used to explore topics like President Obama’s birth certificate and health care death panels. MORE

TJWILDE: This attack on irresponsible media has been quite extraordinary. If you haven’t heard, according to “certain sources” and “some people,” Glenn Beck might have raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. He didn’t, but it is certainly true that he might have, and that is the basis of a satirical online campaign which aims to demonstrate how dangerous the faux-journalism, circular logic, and vague accusations of Beck and other pundits are. […]  So in response, a significant segment of the internet is asking Mr. Beck to prove that he did not rape and murder a young girl in 1990. There is “a totally legitimate police report.” There is a poll — and we all know how much polls represent truth (Beck’s own network helped to teach us that). So that’s the joke. If he’s innocent, why doesn’t he come out and say it? Why doesn’t he deny the allegations? These are his techniques at work against him, and this clearly satirical campaign of misinformation will eventually seep into the ears and minds of the people Beck is influencing. MORE

NOTES FROM THE UNDERGROUND BASTARD: Responses to the growing Glenn Beck scandal varied across the country even as the beleaguered television entertainer continued his refusal to deny raping and murdering a child in 1990. Recent polling showed that a meager 5% of the American public believes that Glenn Beck didn’t rape and glennbeck_with_loveroflposterscom1250740779thumb.jpgmurder a girl in 1990. One concerned citizen, darter22, wondered why Beck would impede an investigation to clear his name: Glenn, just show us the long form police report that shows you didn’t do it. Easy enough. Unless of course you did it. MORE

POLJUNK: But now the fun really begins as some web savvy pranksters have targeted Fox News commentator and all-around good time guy Glenn Beck for a little Search Engine Optimization bombing. Spreading like a wild fire is the phrase “Did Glenn Beck Rape and Murder a Girl in 1990?” They’re even hitting up Yahoo Answers and employing the exact same tactics as those used by Birthers to sow seeds of doubt regarding the President’s place of birth. A quick review of the thread is like a text book case of Search Engine Manipulation. MORE

BILLPAXTONISMYDAD: Well the rumor mill has been buzzing lately about an astonishing rumor related to Fox News anchor Glenn Beck. Apparently he may or may not have been involved in BRUTAL RAPE AND MURDER OF A YOUNG GIRL IN 1990. I don’t know if it’s true or not but as far as I can tell he seems like a pretty nice guy. The only problem is Glenn hasn’t come forward and denied the rumor, nor has he been able to produce any kind of physical evidence that it is untrue, such as a police report stating that it’s false that GLENN BECK BRUTALLY RAPED AND glenbeck_pota_1.jpgMURDERED A YOUNG GIRL IN 1990. MORE

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WIKIPEDIA: Magical thinking is nonscientific causal reasoning that often includes such ideas as the ability of the mind to affect the physical world (see the philosophical problem of mental causation), and correlation mistaken for causation. Associative thinking may be brought into play, as well as the power of magical symbols, metaphor and metonym, and synchronicity. According to theories of anxiety relief and control, people turn to magical beliefs when there exists a sense of uncertainty and potential danger and little to do about it. Magic is used to restore a sense of control. In support of this theory, research indicates that superstitious behavior is invoked more often in high stress situations, especially by people with a greater desire for control. MORE

Glenn Beck Can’t Spell

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