REEFER MADNESS: Juqua Parker Must’ve Been High

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PHIL SHERIDAN: It was shocking to hear the news that Eagles defensive end Juqua Parker was charged with possession of marijuana early yesterday morning. Shocking to hear that a professional athlete might burn a little ganja in his free time? Hardly. What was shocking was the degree of stupidity exhibited by Parker and his wheelman, left guard Todd Herremans. To be rolling around an O Little Town like Bethlehem in the wee hours with the headlights off is to beg for police to notice you. And to be carrying a controlled substance – even one that is used by countless Americans and virtually decriminalized in a lot of places – is just unthinkably foolish. As Parker and Herremans know now, after blowing off a bunch of reporters after practice here, things are different for NFL players than for everybody else. What’s stunning is that they didn’t have that figured out before setting out in Herremans’ pitch-black van – a vehicle that looks like something straight out of a Cheech and Chong movie – with a couple of young local women. These guys went to college, right? Don’t they know how to block the bottom of the door with a towel, turn on the lava lamp, and chillax in private? MORE

PHAWKER: What a colossal waste of everyone’s time and taxpayer money. Meanwhile, crime goes on all around you.

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