TONITE: F*ck And Run

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Exile in Guyville, 15th Anniversary Edition! Now playing on Phawker Radio!*

DEAR DIARY,

It’s been 15 years, but nothing’s really changed. It’s hopeless. I loved her then and I love her now for all the same wrong reasons: Because she’s a cunt in spring. Because I was a hero in a long line of heroes looking for something attractive to save. Because she gets away, almost every day with what the girls call, what the girls call, what the girls call murder. Because she writes with a number two pencil, she lives up to her potential and she’s clean as a whistle, baby. Because she wants to be my blowjob queen. Because she wants to be mesmerizing, too. Because she stole my lighter. Because she lost the map. Because she never said nothing. Because she used to pretend she was in a Galaxie 500 video. Because I wouldn’t get out of the business and it made her want to rough me up so badly. Because she was 5’2 instead of 6’1. Because she told me jump higher, go farther, measure the decades longer than you. Because I fall in bed too easily. Because she fucks and runs. Because the license said I had to stick around until she was dead. Because she’s alone, baby, she’s alone.

Your Pal,

JONATHAN VALANIA

PS Please don’t ever show this to anyone or post it on the Internet. Thanks in advance, knew I could trust you.

*This is how we would have sequenced the album

EDITOR’S NOTE: Liz Phair performs Exile In Guyville beginning to end tonight at the TLA. The show is sold out. But if the gods of the guest list are willing, we should have a complete report. Standby

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