INSTA-REVIEW: Parsing Michelle’s Speech In IM

michelle-obama-ebonyblurry.jpg

Our analysts tonight will be Amy Z. Quinn, recently converted Obama supporter/longtime Hillarycrat dead-ender, and Jonathan Valania, who was right about Obama, and most other things, all along. Please standby…

10:41 PM JV: ok here we goOBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

good stuff, family bio

10:42 PM hardscrabble life, humble beginnings, pulling up bootstraps

translation: we are normal

and Barack is just like us

JV: we grew up like Hillary

Amy: Her version of it taking a Village

JV: but we still love Barack, and so can you

Amy: Or, if you prefer, a Hundred and Ten Percenter http://www.mcclatchydc.com/234/story/30368.html

10:45 PM “my piece of the american dream is a blessing hard won by those who came before me”OBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

Aaaaaaaaamen

10:46 PM JV: Cindy McCain ain’t gonna top this

Martin Luther King

hmm

didn’t McCain vote AGAINST a holiday for him?

and now he’s stranded on the wrong side of history

10:47 PM Amy: “That is why I love this country” might be the one line she HAD to deliver

10:48 PM Michelle Obama as heiress, but not the Cindy McCain kind. She inherits opportunity, not money. I like it.

10:49 PM JV: just got the stream up

I dunno about that color on herOBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

very Santa Fe

Amy: no, she looks beautiful

JV: lesbian

I knew it

all makes sense

voted for Hillary

now this

10:50 PM Amy: So Michelle Obama has clearly been close to tears at a couple of points in this speech

SURE it’s OK for her but not Hillary!OBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

haters!

OK, i’m done

JV: Hillary isn’t angry

Michelle is

that’s why it’s OK for her to cry

10:51 PM Amy: I thought it was OK to cry because Rosie Greer said so

10:52 PM JV: look Obama isn’t allowed to cry

you don’t hear him whining about it

on my IM

do you?OBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

no

Michelle in 2016!

Amy: Oh hell if she keeps talking about him driving the bebehs home from the hospital I’M gonna cry

10:53 PM JV: Me too, don’t you tell anyone

Amy: VERY well done speech

10:54 PM JV: here here

author, author

yesOBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

say it

yes

say it

Amy: Awwww, Sasha

10:55 PM Sadly, still not as cute as my kid

Wait, did I say that out loud?

10:56 PM Woah, Obama on big video screen like Oz

JV: i’m back

verdict: home runOBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

10:57 PM

JV: OMG is that who I think it is?

I LOVE Obama

haha

good one, Obama

10:58 PM Amy: Sasha Obama is the new Olivia Nutter

Amy: I’m lining her up to go to the prom with Jack 10 years from now

10:59 PM

JV: Awwwww

I love you daddy

whole spectacle rates very high on the emotional IQ scale, mission accomplishedOBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

one inspiring story I heard on Fresh Air today

Amy: Struck exactly the right tones

11:00 PM JV: from the guy who wrote the story in the New Yorker about the Dem strategy to win the west

Back in 2000, Obama was at his lowest

lost his first bid for the Senate in a blowout

was broke, in debt

wife mad at him

never wanted him to run in the first place

was gonna get out of politics

and a friend persuaded him to go out to theOBAMAGoTellMama2.jpg

11:01 PM Dem convention in LA

and network, so he does

books a cheap flight on Southwest

goes to the convention and gets TURNED AWAY

can’t get in, can’t even get credentials

then, he tries to rent a car

and his credit card is declined

eight years later he is a heartbeat away from the Presidency

11:02 PM aint’ THAT America?

Amy: Thank you, John Camp Cougarmellon

JV: Goodnight, America!

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